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Written by

Eyesthewriter

The best you'd come across.

2 years ago

In community: Just Write(e5e5)

Topics: Thought

A minute of silence

I don't know why I feel so alone.
It's like the things I do don't worth it.
I check my read.cash blog and it breaks my heart that they don't see the greatness I put in those articles. Then I type these worries and pains in my hive account telling my emotions and feelings with no expectations of accuring some dollars from those who may bump into me.

I'm not sad nor complaining about this long road I've been walking neither am I worried about the scars that I may wear. I don't want to talk about the love I found, the love that keeps me lonely beneath the seashells of my own stream but all I want to do right now is write until my heart feels lighter.

I'm staring back to the man I see before me. This weak and ugly, his heart is heavy as the fears of falling for somebody creeps into his veins and arteries to and fro the ventricular and pulmonary tunnel. I don't want to be who the world expects me to be, not even a slight of what the dreams addresses but the one and only who wakes and dies every twenty four hours with one intention and mandate clear: To love God and believe in his winds and forces as they mould and correct us in every conscience we hear.

I had a dream where I was walking with the devil although I can't remember how and where yet I can still smell him around believing I can take this darkness and turn it into light. He won't let me rest so I barely sleep, I've known God all my life yet the devil always visits my shadow. I walk with God every day that I wake yet the devil won't stop following.

All my mistakes don't let me less of a man and I may not even have seen my best moments so am stuck between a rock and a hard place asking anyone to correct me when am wrong. I know it's unfair when I displace discipline and let my feelings take the best of me, I watch the lusts of my flesh manipulate my soul into a cage of emptiness so I quickly put my ego aside and talk about my problems for your eyes only.

I'm going insane and nobody knows. My sanity yells for a quiet place where I can scream as possible. A place I can shout away my burden without putting my sanity at stake. They say heaven is what you get when you pass through hell and I find it hard to understand why the tables turn although the fire keeps burning. Next week Saturday, I'll be twenty five and in all, I thank God that I've understood life enough to find my purpose.