My worst distraction

They say love is a captivity lovers chose and I can't settle for that because my heart is a place where I sojourn for peace and quiet.

My girl won't break up with me because she thinks am too rough. To her, violence and hardcore sex is what attunes her libido. The last time we made love, she made me handcuff her hands then moaned how much she needed me to spank and rough handle her but I couldn't because to me, I would be abusing her and wouldn't want such to happen to my sister so I uncuffed her then backed off.

We live together in a small town around the stomach of Alabama. We met at a grocery store where she had visited to refill her refrigerator while I had come to take pictures of the store concerning a project I was working on.

How we started dating is a faded memory because she did came to me. At first, we had a one night stand in a restroom the next day on a date then proceeded to her place where she insisted would be favorable.

Before she ushered me into her house, I noticed some porn dvd packs littered round her garden while her neighbors stole glances at me with strange and weird look that made me ponder what I was getting into.

Though I wasn't scared for my life because I had reasons to but sometimes during our dinner together at her glass dinning table, something about her wasn't right. I mean, have you ever seen a spinster who plays pornography for her guest to watch on a first visit.

That night, we had sex from the dinning table to the couch on her sitting room then found ourselves in a secret room which she called her trap house. In there, there're paintings of models, I mean beautiful pornstars which I didn't know were pornstars until she inserted the video tape on her satellite.

The next day, exactly 5am. I heard a knock on my door only to open and find her standing wearing only lingerie. "Did you walk all the way here like this? I stuttered in awe. "Not exactly" she moaned with that same voice of hers which sits well in my spirit.

We made love over and over again till noon before having brunch then continued again till sunset. Her body is soft as cotton wool, her breasts kicks with high self esteem and the way she handles me could send me or anyman to an early grave then I knew I was in for trouble.

The truth is, she's toxic and at the same time; everything I need in my sex life. She barely appreciates penetration but gives all of herself to me for countless cunnilingus. Lest I forget, she's the best I've ever met when it comes to fellatio.

One evening, after soaking our bodies in our exchanged sweats, squirts and semen. I managed to scamp from my king size bed which she had attached some cuffs. I knew my life was draining in countless oral sex over and over again. A part of me needed her to stop coming while the other insisted that she's all I need but before my eyes, I saw myself loosing concentration and focus for what I do; I could barely put up and article on my blog and anytime some inspiration did hit me, it soon vanished into abyss as she would start touching and caressing me.

This isn't love, I whispered to myself. This is Jezebel reincarnated in your life and something has to be done quickly before I loose my balance to this sweet twenty one. She barely speaks about herself nor dreams and aspiration neither does she encourage mine instead all that matters to her is sex, orgy and anything close to it.

My days are getting complicated even my neighbors now see me differently and it's clear I need help because these days I also find myself running after her when she's gone. But after we're done with several rounds and positions, I find her irritating and want to be alone.

So now I ask, what's your take on this? Because somehow somewhere, she thinks am the only one who satisfies her urge exactly as she wants it and vice versa to me. I feel she's my cage and I, her prison because all that we do these days is explore our bodies in our trap house.

She's the sweetest girl I've ever met and at the same time, the worst distraction in my life. At some point, I feel I can change her for better although its obvious that she's changing me for the worst.

I hate to say this but these days, she's just like my medication from this cruel and lonely world but if I continue to dwell on this lustful truth, I think I might find myself in regret sooner or later so tell me what you'd advise if you were in my shoes.