Our society always has something to say, especially in our country when you already have a child it seems that you are not allowed to beautify yourself anymore. Some people will say “Instead of buying cosmetics, just buy it for your child needs ” as if that certain momma asks them money for that cosmetics. Or they will say “Why you keep striving to get sexy when you already have a husband ” so we have to be lousy when we got married? that sounds lame to me.
When I got pregnant from 47kg I went up to 60kg, from extra small to large. I am not comfortable with it, I gained weight because pregnant ladies love to eat and sleep. Despite that I work during my pregnancy I still gained weight. I don't like being fat or chubby, not because I shamed that body figure but because I am not comfortable with it, it's hard to move faster and I am panting every time there are extreme activities I am doing.
I also don't like it, my partner is a bully. He is bullying me when I am fat, although it was just a joke you know jokes sometimes are half meant. He even said that I am not going to get back my slim shape before and that even made me more annoyed I mean I have to prove to him that he is wrong. Maybe he was just kidding me but I know, guys would love to have a sexy wife or girlfriend.
When my baby is already 8 months old, I started to do home work out little by little. Just simple work out, just to let me sweat. Aside from being driven because my partner is annoying me, I also do the work out to release my stress. I am stress at that time with our finances because my partner is jobless. So every time I am stress I do the home work out, it's a nice feeling when you sweat out from your work out, you are releasing toxins that will make you feel lighter after the exercise session.
I wasn't a heavy exercise I started on the first day at 5 minutes so I will not collapse due to over fatigue. I downloaded an app, work out apps that have 30 days program. I am eager to work out because when I was not yet pregnant, I love going to the gym with my friends, it seems that my body is missing exercise.
I don't want to be lousy, I wanted to be presentable in front of my partner so he won't turn his head whenever he saw some sexy chick lol. Not just that I wanted to look good for myself, I don't like seeing myself so lousy although I don't wear makeup having good shape and light aura is enough so people cant determine if I am having a hard time with my life. I always portray myself as a “happy go lucky person” despite what I've been through and having a lousy look will ruin that.
Some people will bash some moms who are too sexy but their kid is dirty, of course, I make sure to take care of my child. She has always been my priority next to myself, I even look like her nanny sometimes, people will ask me if she is my daughter because I look younger than my age and it's unbelievable to them that I already have a child, I am not so happy with that because they seem to criticize me that I am a teenage mom. When I told them my age they will just say “Oh, okay you look like a minor”. My choice of clothing looks like a teenager, that's how comfortable I am feeling young.
Before when we were still boyfriend and girlfriend with my partner we use to argue about what I wear when we are dating. He wanted me to wear a plain shirt and pants and some flat sandals. He does not want me to wear a sexy dress, he will get mad if he saw some guys checking me. At first, I find it sweet that he is territorial with me and he does not want any guy to look at me but as time goes by I find it irritating because he will be the one to chose what I wear. I am not comfortable anymore, it seems that he is trying to change me he wanted me to dress as her mom do and I was like “What? your mother is old, so I should wear clothes like her? Are you kidding? your mom and I are different ”. I argue with him about my dressing style, I told him that I am not comfortable with lousy shirts and pants, it's not my style. I told him not to change the way I dressed because it's where my confidence lies, and even before when we didn't meet yet I am like that, I don't dress like Maria Clara (Conservative style). And if he will force me to change myself then we will cut ties because I am losing myself anymore by his fantasy, good thing he understands and from then on he promised that he will never manipulate my clothing style again, he fulfills it until now.
So why I don't want to be lousy? It's because of comfortability matter, I don't uncomfortably put myself to the things that will lose my confidence. I don't want to be lousy because it's where my confidence lies. My confidence is my crown, it is an invisible crown proof that I won every battle I am facing. My confidence is the brand I am wearing and showing off to the runway.
I am not saying fat and chubby are lousy it depends on how they portrayed themselves, some chubby women are hot. It's just that, I am not comfortable with that size. Now, I get back my shape even slimmer and had an abs lol.
I want to ruin your day so I will include a photo of me 😆😂😂😂😂 I'm kinda tired with long hair I want to cut it short, what do you think?
Keep your long hair! You will regret it! I cut mine short before and I cried for days lol. And you know that part that confidence is your crown, it is mine as well. People will judge you base on what you wear, na kesyo may anak ka na, you can't wear sexy clothes. Lucky enough my husband is so supportive and will even help me choose what to wear. And even I'm telling him, just last night that my tummy is getting big now, he just says "why you worry?" and kissed me. Bhe huh, don't cut your hair, ang ganda ganda e