I'm Not A Mother Type But I Am Trying My Best

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Avatar for Eybyoung
1 year ago

I know most of you admire me for being a mom, but let me tell you now that I am not a mother type for real. I find it hard to handle kids' tantrums, I am not a sweet mother too. I mean I cuddle with my daughter I always do that, maybe what I am trying to say is that I am not a “spoiler mom” and this is related to how I grow up. I grew up in an unpleasant environment, and I know the world is tough to deal with because I dealt with it on my own.

With that, I want my daughter to grow up brave and independent like me, and her grandparents spoiling her a lot made me think, that I am not a mother type. I don't even like the idea of having a new child, coz to me my daughter is too much to handle already but if God will give me another kid, of course, I don't have a choice but to act as a responsible mother still.

I don't like kids having tantrums

I know, nobody likes to have tantrums kiddo.. who likes to deal with that right? The reason is that I can't handle kids with tantrums well, maybe because I grew up being an obedient kid. How sure I was that I was obedient? Well, my mother says so, who would like not to obey when you have a monster mom? So I don't have a choice when I was a kid, but to obey orders.

This is why I also adopted that character, I want a child to be obedient and I don't have that long patience to persuade them to be good. If my daughter can't obey after asking her 5 times or more, I spank her. My patience is too short, this is why I always felt like I am not a mother type. I can't deal with kids well.

My husband knows that, and he is like that too haha. Sometimes I pity my daughter because she has parents that are short-tempered but what can I do? If she no longer listens to me because she knows her grandma will side her. She always interferes whenever she was acting up that's why I always got annoyed even more.

This is also the reason why I am so eager to learn new skills, hoping I can find a stable source of income soon with it so I can live separately. To live on our own with peace. I don't like other people interfering with me a lot. I am not used to it anymore.

Going back to the mother thingy, I can't imagine raising a lot of kids too.. just like I said, I don't have more patience, and having more kids means more headaches. Kids in this generation are hard to deal with, unlike our generation who can understand one instruction, and are polite and obedient. Most kids nowadays are advanced, they already know what they want and try to do things on their own without listening to elders' instructions and advice..ending sometimes they get hurt or worst ruin themselves, especially teens.

But as a responsible mother, I still do my best or give my best just to guide the daughter even if it seems tough to me. I admire those parents who have two or more kids, if only I can buy patience I'm gonna be a hoarder for sure.

It seems it is not my calling to handle a lot of kids

Aside from not being so good at dealing with kids' behavior, I also have some goals and wants for myself, and having more kids can hinder it, just like learning new skills to build up myself. The explanation I can give for this is that I am an ambitious individual too. I have ambition for myself but time didn't give me a chance to pursue it before stepping into motherhood. It's like, I wasn't able to build something for myself before I support building or shaping my child's future.

I believe I can achieve something great, I only need chances to make it. But since I am a mother now, I'll just do my best to balance things out.. to achieve something I want and to be a good mom, despite I can see I don't have the right skills to be one.

This is why I don't have plans to have a lot of kids.. coz to me, it isn't my calling. Above all, more kids means more EXPENSES!

Lead Image: Jon Flobrant via Unsplash

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1 year ago

Comments

no one's perfect and even I have little patience on days when my son is uncontrollable... pero i balance lang jud madam coz you'll learn along the way

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1 year ago

Haaay perti lisuda madam labi na ako I grew up with a strict mother.. unya di ko badlungon sa bata pa ko 🤦🤣 challenging kaayo unsaon pagtaas sa pasensya.

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1 year ago

I am not a motherly person like you too. But I believe we are chosen to be our kids' mothers because God knew we could raise our kids. I do agree on staying away from extended family for privacy's sake, and also no one can interfere with our parenting.

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1 year ago

My dear, we are all learning when it comes to being a parent. I had to learn a lot of patience because these children would test you...push you beyond limits and it would be unfair to overreact with them because they are small and they still don't understand how life works. No one knows it all and you just have to learn to overlook a bit once in a while and also not overindulging her. You will be fine. We, as parents we learn on the job depending on the child.

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1 year ago

Yeah, it's just so hard.. coz I am a short tempered person 🤣

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1 year ago

😂😂🤣😂🤣 I can imagine... It's hard but not impossible. It will take a serious effort from you though. Just focus on those sweet things she does, it might help a bit.

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1 year ago

It is not easy to handle kids and i believe it. But what you want that your children will be brought up like a brave and independent human Being is really appreciable. But things in our society is a kind of barriers for this view. You need to be careful about it. Educate them according to you desire whatever people say Against you.

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1 year ago

Now that I am already a mom I wonder what kind of mother I will be😂. I really hate it pag nagtatantrums ang bata lol

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1 year ago

Lol...I can understand your point of view, being a mother is not an easiest thing, but still you are doing your best. Seriously in this era with alot of expenses, one or two kids are enough.

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1 year ago

To be honest I'm still studying and don't know about mom type or mother type stuffs, but I heard and have been reading/ seeing that every woman has a mother inside her, I don't know how, where and why,.... I know you are good mother and won't want something bad for your daughter)

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1 year ago

You are a good mother ma'am eybyoung kasi even di mo pa masyado alam mother thingy ginagawa mo parin for the best of your kid ma'am eybyoung.

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1 year ago

One is enough sis. Hard to handle jod basta mag tantrums na what more modako na madaga ha attitude huhu. Isud nalaman balik sa tijan

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1 year ago

Me too sis, I am not really a kind of mother who is sweet to her children, I get mad too in just a sec when they are not listening to me. I have two kids now, and dealing with them is really tough, both of them have different traits, so there's always a stress moment each day when they fight.

Being a mom is really a special kind of calling, but as long as we love our kids, everything will be fine.

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1 year ago

Kaya nga sis nakakainit nang ulo pag di makinig.. yun nga eh every kids has different traits and we have to deal with them in different approach.. kaya parang di ko kaya marami anak talaga, baka mamatay ako sa stress 😂

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1 year ago

Same here. I cannot handle a lot of kids. I would not want to give birth to a lot of kids. I wish to have time for the amount of kids I want to have

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1 year ago

Well, you can control it by practicing family planning method..having more kids means more expenses too 🤦

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1 year ago