The Most Painful Questions a Parent would Dare to Ask

When I started to become a parent I was not really thinking or even focused with the challenges that I have to deal in life.

But come to think of it, there were like a LOT. Having kids, let alone raising them while trying to give them a complete family is such a big challenge and it is LIFETIME.

With this being said, there are a lot of questions that may be so painful for us parents to ask our kids. Questions that we do not even want to imagine asking them but there could really be cases when fate would do some trick and it would make us realize that we are on that part where we should raise this question to our Children. Let me mention those details here:

• Who would you choose my child, me or your father?

This is such a painful question to raise to a Kid because this would mean that the family is in the verge of being broken. It could be the mother is about to let go her husband and so she has to ask her kid/s if who would they prefer?

And sometimes, our kids may also answer us such a painful answer that we can never imagine hearing especially if they would decide to be with your spouse rather than you.

But it is more painful to see your child tearing up or trying to think what to answer while the pain is visible on their face so as the fear of what might happen.

• Can you stay with your Grandma and Grandpa?

I have witnessed how my mom suffered when she has to separate me and my siblings because she has to work. We were 4 siblings and my brother and sister both on a very young age by that time needs to be left to my Lola (Papa's side) so I and my other brother can go to school and mom can work. My Lola is expected to take good care of them while my Mom promised to give money or goods for their daily needs. Only to find out after couple of months that my brother and sister were not well taken cared of. They were asked to fetch water at a very early age, they are not allowed to eat if they commit a mistake or at times they were forced to kneel on a monggo seeds or salt which was very painful.

Now, whenever that they talk about it, my mom can't help but wipe her tears so as much as possible we do not mention those past experience if she is around.

The experience was traumatic to my brother and sister too.

• Is it okay if I marry another man/woman?

When I found out that my mom has a new partner I was devastated. I never thought that she can dare to look for a replacement for my Papa and it is so painful thinking that she was with someone else plus the fact that we have to adjust coz she brought her new partner at home and even stayed with us. Imagine how would we adjust when we used to have late night talks while being together in bed with my siblings, when I used to tell her everything under the sun to that moment when I can see her taking care a different man and sometimes forgets to take care of my siblings.

I had to be so strong not to let her notice my pain. Until instead of building my dream I had an unplanned family of my own. It was really painful to have a drastic change in ones life but then I am thankful that God gave me my children because instead of the pain I am more focus on other personal matters away from what my Mom did.

Note that pictures used in most of my articles are from UNSPLASH

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