I Feel Alone and Lonely

Being by yourself can make you feel either happy or lonely. It may depend on your current state though because being by yourself is a choice to make and everyone in this lifetime are given choice. Only that, when the choice or path that you take you have to be responsible of whatever consequence it may have.

Being alone though does not mean someone is lonely because there are cases that ourself is our home, that it is when we are alone that we find peace that we can never find with having other people around.

There are also cases when you have a lot of people around you but still you find alone and lonely. This is the exact thing that I am feeling right now.

If my tear duct can say anything surely it would have a lot of complaining to do because I have been crying my heart out for a couple of days now.

You see I am a breadwinner and even if I have my family it still makes me feel like I am the only one in this battle. I am the only one worrying and doing the best to budget what I have so it will be enough for everyone. I am the only one who pays all the bills and worrying if ever we got anything disconnected like electricity and internet.

I want to just lay down in bed and cry my heart out. I want to just let the day pass by not doing or thinking anything. But can I do that? No!

For a mom like me I have to be responsible with my children's needs because I happened to found an irresponsible partner not even a husband for this matter. I am in the verge of giving up. I want to give up. I want to end everything but I feel sorry for my kids. I am responsible for bringing them to this God forsaken world and I wanted to just take a rest and not do anything anymore.

But what about my kids? Who will take good care of them?

Life is been cruel to me and I didn't know what I did in my past life to actually deserve all these.

(｡•́︿•̀｡) Apologies for writing this article. Today I just feel so down. I cannot function well. I have so much in my mind and I wanted to just take some rest away from the people who are letting me feel this way.

I do not want to hear my children's cry and witness my partner just letting them cry their heart our while playing on his computer. I wanted to stay away from him and I regret having this man enter my life.

So to those single ladies reading this always remember that when you choose someone to be part of your life set as high standard as possible. You should choose someone not just a good lover but a good father.

Article: XIV as of 6.01.2022

Writer: