Speaking and Understanding
There is an accepted assumption in the communication literature that communication is "what the other person understands rather than what you speak". The important thing here is to draw attention to the effect of the speaker's feelings and thoughts at the end of his verbal and nonverbal expression. How we understand this effect, who we are communicating with or trying to influence, measures the effect of the feedback from that person on us.
It can also be said that "we have told what the other person understood," the important thing is what we are understood rather than what we say or do. The response of the other person to us reveals the dimension of communication.
In general, we think that the fault or misunderstanding is the problem of the other person rather than our own, by suggesting that we are not understood, the resistance of the people in front of us, their indifference and other things, and we tend to see ourselves as justified. We can give the following example for a clearer understanding based on the football analogy. Just as a player cannot blame his friend when he makes a wrong or incorrect pass, if we cannot convey our feelings and thoughts in the right way and in the right way, the problem lies with the athlete who made the wrong pass. An exception is if you make the right pass, but the other person pretends to receive the pass and does not cheat, then the other person is at fault; It can also be criticized for deliberate behavior.
Communication is an art and learning communication, its principles and rules like an instrument should be one of the main goals of every individual. In schools, families and/or different institutions, communication should be at the top of the basic courses because most of the human problems are caused by communication problems.
Communication cannot be made only with one party. Communication begins with the person himself. His life begins with his understanding of the event and facts and his creation. Then communication is made to influence, communicate, prevent violence and ultimately be happy. Communication with the aim of preventing violence is an important phenomenon because when people stop talking, it is inevitable that they will tend to violence.
The most fundamental phenomenon of communication is language and symbols. Especially the importance of mother tongue is more important than we think. The richness of the mother tongue is vital for an effective communication while thinking, expressing what we think and sharing our feelings.
It can be said that the heart of communication is to establish a connection. The person is with himself, with others, with life, nature, other living things; The bond he establishes with animate and inanimate things and phenomena is also necessary for the quality of life of the person. When the wrong connection with these things and elements is not at the desired level, the failure and unhappiness of the person will come to the surface.
Therefore, communication is an art. It is learned. In order to learn, it is necessary to understand the importance. Because it makes a seventy percent contribution to solving problems. Based on this, we wouldn't be exaggerating if we say, "The quality of our communication with ourselves, our environment and life determines our quality of life".
Finding good examples for communication, making kindness, respect and sincerity a way of life, paying attention to listening and understanding before speaking, being flexible and creative, and then gaining the habit of reading will be a very valuable approach.