it is interesting how society has modified the personality of the people taking them to a point where they are people who spend most of their lives looking for a goal and when they get it they really realize that they do not feel any sense of satisfaction, this happens very often in those people who since childhood have been told that they must strive to get what we want, in part perhaps have a little reason the problem is when we are instilled that the effort is synonymous with competition, we grow up associating success with the culture of effort and competition; for this and other reasons is that nowadays nonconformism has been on the rise.
Like a "seed" that ends up germinating, the result is an empty person looking to fill a hole and even if they eat anything they will not be able to fill anything. This happens very frequently with those people that we see every day looking for success, the problem is that they do not really know how to achieve it and if it is not really success that they are looking for but to satisfy that need to compete to feel alive and they do not achieve it.
my life story is similar, from a very young age I was taught that I had to make an effort to achieve my goals, up to that point we were doing well, then my parents tried to make me understand that if I wasn't the best in everything I did it wasn't synonymous with effort, it was hard for me to accept that many times when I didn't get the grades I wanted, I had to accept that I hadn't made an effort, I was traumatized to the point that many times I ended up at the point of collapse, I could not explain it to myself, I knew that if I was making an effort, then those words of my father "if you are not the best in everything you do, you have not made an effort", for years I had this strong controversy, I came to think that really they were right and I was just another mediocre person in the world.
Then one night when I went to bed and couldn't sleep I thought, I know that I am making an effort, maybe I won't get the best grade or be the best in what I am doing but, I know that I am making an effort and I can't give more than what I am giving if I keep thinking that I am doing things wrong, that night I felt that I had understood many things, that the bad versation of words of my parents had caused in me, a way of thinking that had no concordance, I knew that I was making an effort and I had always done it.
Today I don't judge my parents for what happened, nor did I want to have a conversation in which I would end up expressing the pain they had caused me for years, all for saying the wrong thing.
Today I am a mother, I try to be fair when I say anything, as a mother I learned that if you want to give the best to a child, we should not give them so many things, only the necessary tools, on the other hand, I also understood that it is good to have conversations with them, beyond the typical "how are things son" "how are things going in class? "or "you know I'm your friend, you can tell me whatever you want" these types of conversations do not lead to anything, as parents we must remember that part when we were young we know how we think at some point, we can not ignore that many times when we were young we wanted to share something that caused us noise with mom or dad, we do not get to tell them anything because sometimes parents do not realize that they have a child who should be heard that needs someone to trust beyond their best friend, that's why their parents are there to ensure the happiness and mental health of their children.
Many times as parents we end up making that typical mistake of not wanting our children to live what we lived through, preventing them from living experiences that may be vital for a healthy and fulfilling life in the future. When I try to talk to my children the first thing I try to do is to break the ice, whenever I have a conversation of any kind, laughter gives way to endless questions that will be answered without fear or embarrassment, creating a good bond is very important, teaching them that although the effort has rewards, often the effort does not necessarily bring a reward with you more than what you can give yourself, to know that in an exam or anything that did not turn out the way you thought you would associate it with not having made an effort is wrong, that is our own fault, to recognise that if we make an effort despite not having achieved what we want, that moment will come, on the other hand I also try to teach that time has a reason in our lives.
perhaps what today was not another day will be, it is all a matter of learning to be patient, the teaching of a father or mother is better when it is done through practice, it is not necessary to implement the theory so many times because we already know that the best for a good education is to set an example, yes, yes, every time I heard when I was young, you must set an example of being a good person I asked myself so many times, and how do I know that I am a good person? Obviously I was close to the answer, I just asked myself the wrong question, we know that we are doing good when our actions do not have an end of their own and are directed towards others, without asking or expecting something in return, another example of being a good person is, having values, education gives a lot to talk about a person, I would say that it is the introduction of each being when having a conversation or greeting someone.
As I mentioned before, to deprive my children of learning on their own would be selfish of me, to make them understand that they should have their own stumbling blocks as a sign of their own growth is the healthy and right thing to do.
Today I can say that I am free of unhealthy thoughts, I learned to accept the different situations that my path has brought me, some are not good others are much better, I learned that we must have courage and above all courage to face our own fears rather than face those that come from outside (external), learning to know ourselves will help us not only to have better control of our lives, also to plan it, to lead an organized life that costs a lot and is worth so much, my words are addressed to those people who feel that they still do not achieve their goals despite so much struggle, friend, you better change your thinking, perhaps you have already achieved many goals and you have done it unconsciously, my first goal I got it that night when I woke up from that nightmare caused by my parents, that thanks to be able to rethink the question I managed to understand that only I said what to do with my life and how I was going to rewrite it...
DEDICATION
I dedicate my words to those people who have had to live a life marked by their parents, those selfish people who without thinking that they do so much damage with just a few words can damage the lives of others, those people who feel they do not fit in and do not achieve anything, just look, look inside yourself and find the strength, then start from that line and set yourself much simpler goals and then look for longer ones, you will learn to have a winning behaviour, then there will be nothing to stop you, you will know what to do in any situation, you will be a wise person and once you were just lost.
It has been a real pleasure to be able to share with you part of my life, I am not ashamed to tell you anything, maybe my words will be useful to other people, I hope since that is my aim, to help you understand how important it is to know who we are and that nothing and nobody can tell us what is wrong or what is right, nobody else but us.
The importance of good education is the basis of all parenting, so we must be responsible for what we say, especially what hurts and can hurt you.