What I would like to do and Learn but Scared of doing it?

Do you have the things that you wanted to learn or do in your life? In your whole life of existence, did you experience or curious about things and you have the part of your self that you are scared to do it?

Because me, I have a lot of things that I wanted to learn but I am scared of trying it and I envy those people who always do it and it become simple and basic to them. What are those?

So if you like to read and know what I wanted to do but I am scared of doing it, just keep in reading!

So here are the things that I wanted to Learn but Scared of doing it:

Cooking Foods

Since I was young, I wanted to learn how to cook. I always look to my Mom and i watched her cooking our foods. I told my mom that I like to cook too and learn how to cook the basic foods and she said that I can learn by watching her doing it and you can memorize it all. However, even if I watch..I did not know how to do it! I still want her guide because I am scared that I might burned or I will be the cause of fire in our house.

I am so very pakelamera you know? Because when she is in the Kitchen, I grab the knife and I wanted to peel the onion but it just my finger who almost cut because of the knife at that time, when I'm seeing the blood...I'm crying because I don't like to look at it. So it become my trauma to hold knife and to cook because of it. I'm scared that maybe I will cut my skin again and see a lot of blood in it.

Another reason is I hate frying, the Oil is making me mad and we hate each other. We never ever be bestie. It can cause a Disaster in one room. Lol

And the last reason why I can't do it is because I don't like killing animals. You know, like killing chicken to cook it? Cleaning alive fish, And other Animals. I feel like when I am at the Kitchen with them, I am the murderer. I also have this dream the chicken that my Grandma kill is alive and dancing and have a mouth which is making me scream that night. So then, I don't go to the kitchen when my Grandma is Cooking. I don't like to dream like that again. So when My Aunt is want me to help them sometimes to peel, I'm peeling it using my hands and not knife and they also giving me the easiest tools that can use to peel and I am in the living room, doing it.

Swim in the 6 ft-or more Pool

When I was young, I also know how to Swim because when I was vacationing in my Aunt place before with my Cousin, she is a Fan of outings so kotang-kota talaga kami sa swimming. I know how to float and swim in the deep until I reach the floor of the pool. However, When there is a moment that my balance is not right because I'm closing my eyes if I am in the water. When I open my eyes I thought I can't lift myself anymore so I almost drown and I can't save myself from it and i have a difficult of breathing already. Good thing that there is someone who save me from drowning And after that happened, I did not swim anymore. I did not go to the pool that is very deep and I don't close my eyes. I can't also float because I can't balance myself and have a fear doing it.

Riding Boat

I also like riding boat when I was young. But just in Baguio because it's very near to us. Of course, if it is your first time riding it, there are the 'What if's' in your head. The questions and you can think of weird and scary things but when I started to ride a real boat in the beach, That is what I fear the most...looking down to the sea. Because I am scared that there are animals like Perana, Sharks, Mermaid like that. I really like to ride but you can't let me ride because of that fear. So when My family ride a boat when we are at the beach, I did not ride with them.

And so when we are talking about riding a boat and swim, I also like to try to...

Swim in the Deep sea Water

but Because of my Fear of that sea animals, I did not even have a confidence. I like to try to see the beauty under the sea, the Jelly fishes, nemo, star fish, and the corals but...you know how much I fear of Sharks!

Become a Make Up Artist in Parlor

I also like to become a Make up artist. If I will apply to work, I like to try this work. Because I am curious if How my customers would like my Skills. Since I like holding make up brushes and I have my hobby of doing it, I also want to try it. But I am scared of hearing their feedbacks and I am not that good and I am not still that pro in my Make up skills. You know, the usual attitude and behavior of your customers in parlors, if they are satisfied they will do this and that and I saw that kind of situation before and it is scary.

Working Part time Jobs

I have this kind of my inner self that I want to try to work or find a part time jobs since I saw a lot of my Classmates doing it. They applying as a Waiter in some fast food chains. I am curious if how the feeling of working and giving my Parents a money by their own hard work.

I also like to help my Parents so I decided to find a jobs after this pandemic and I like to try to become a waiter too in Jollibee and or in Mcdonalds, or Become a Cashier in 7/11 but I am scared that I might do mistakes and you know, the blaming thingy they will make you be responsible to the crime that you did not do.

I am willing to learn a new things as an adult. Since I am already 21 years old and I do not have some thing doing good in my life.

I am scared but I like to learn. I am fear but I like to overcome those fears and be strong. Because I am staying like this, maybe, I don't learn and experience those difficult and i cannot overcome my fears in life. So at this time:

My Sister is now Teaching me to cook some Basic foods

If My sister is have a time, she is willing to teach me how to cook. She said that it is natural lang na matalsikan ka ng mantika but if you will get used to it, you will not feel, or it is just natural nalang sayo yun at wala ka ng mararamdaman and If I am using knife to peel it you should be careful in using it so you cannot cut your hands and fingers. She also teach me how to cut the vegetables, and other ingredients that can used in cooking so that I can cut it in a easy way. Which made me feel at ease because I can now use the knife in a good way and I did not cut my finger and skin but the Mantika thing, I am still in pain if I am frying. Poor ExpertWritter 🤦🏻‍♀️

I can now Swim in the 6th Ft or more Pool because of

My Cousin teach me how to swim in the pool that is deep. It is lagpas ko kasi pag naka tayo ako at i aabot ko yung paa ko sa pool, lagpas ko yung tubig. She taught me how to stand by swim like a frog you know? If they are standing in the water their feet is makulit tsaka para kang sumasayaw sa tubig. Then if you will swim in the deep you should have a lot of air, mag iipon ka ng hininga mo para kapag nasa ilalim ka doon mo ilalabas at magsisilbing hangin mo. Of course, my eyes are still opened and If I am still scared of closing my eyes, I can use a googles to cover my eyes and not hurt in water.

I can now Ride a boat

The last time that we go to the beach, My Sister is with me and I also have my Cousins. They told me not to scared and just focus in the beautiful scenery of natures. So i just look above and just focusing looking at how beautiful the mountains and the blue see. I also tried looking below and I saw how beautiful and clean the water is. My sister said that sharks are just in the very deep water of the sea and in the very dark areas and it is not very deep in the area and you can't find a sharks in there, and she also jokingly said that i can just see a Shokoy which is my soul mate. 🙄 So when the first time that I saw how beautiful below is it's makes me like to swim but I am still scared but I hope someday, I can.

And about the Part time Job

I don't know if when I can experience as a part timer since we know how much we suffering in this kind of situation and I am scared that I might get the virus because we don't know if where is the safest place and not. So as for now, I will just enioy writing here and interact with many good writers..

I will experience that in the future. I am still young too.

Anyway! I know that I have a lot of things that I wanted to learn and to do in the future and I know days or time will come, i can do and overcome that just how I overcome those things that I mentioned above!

So do you have that Kind of fears too? That you wanted to do and learn but you are scared of doing it? You can share it down below!

Thank you for reading! May your fears will be gone and this reader will be strong ❤️