Indeed, I am from Akwa Ibom State and an Ibibio girl so I don't think there is any reason why I shouldn't love my state traditional rites even though Christianity has taken over and some families now have to bargain which brings about agreement between both families before so that they give according to their belief. Marital rites like hot drinks, snapp, and the rest of the olden days marital rites will be replaced with some other things that fits the belief of the both parents but before the girl is given out to her suitor, there are ceremonies that take place and can't be skipped because those things plays are a very significant role and are seen as an important part in the Ibibio society.
The Ibibio marital process/rite begins after the woman has accepted the man's proposal to be his wife.
The man tells his family or father who in turn let's his family know about his son's intention to marry, then and there, they fix a good date to go and see and know the girl and her family too. The man in turn relates with the girl to tell her family about his intention and that of his family to come and see her and her family on the fixed date.
This is the first marital process and it is called - Ndidiong Ufok (“to know the house”). It means the boy and his family are coming to know the girl and her families house for the first time.
The girl's family will in turn relate the information to their own family and prepare for the set date. It is just a setting that involves the girl, her parent and one or two person's from her family, and like wise the boy as well.
The soon to be groom and his family visits his soon to be bride's family with a bottle of wine to know the said girl's house and her parents.
Whatever happens in the first stage determines if the marital process will continue. If her family welcomes the boy and his family with a open arms, it means the marriage is accepted, and the process continues but if he declines, he will have to go back with his family or settle whatever differences if need be.
If both parties accepts, a second date is set for another meeting which we call Nkong Udok (to knock the door) where the man makes his intentions known officially to his brides family. This is where the official process begins.
This stage, the man visits the family not only with his parents but with some members of his both parents likewise the girl, her extended family are expected to be around, this allows for familiarity between both families.
This time, two things are done, the bride price are given out to the groom and his family for, then there is room for negotation if need be and then and there they arrive at a concrete plan of what they would be giving.
Then, the date of the delivery of the items is usually settled at that spot and the bride's family awaits the day the groom will come back with the items on the list which is called Nno Mkpo (To give something)
This is the third process but it does not actually require many people except the groom himself to bring the list such as goat, yam, bags of rice, salt, box, shoes, wrappers, drinks, money, blouse, gele, money and many more.
After that a date for the traditional marriage is fixed which is called Usoro Ndo (Marriage proper). This is the most important day, traditional canopies are set, the girl and her hubby are adorned in a similar attire.
Before the groom is asked to come in or before the process start, the groom's parent and family members are the first to go the marriage venue for what we called Udia Ibenghe (The preparatory meal). This is a time where the girl's family displays all types of cultural food to the groom's family for them to eat.
It is an indoor activity meant only for the groom's family, assorted types of cultural foods are displayed on the table for the groom's family to make a choice of their and they are expected to eat there. Food like Eben ye Akpakpa (pear and maize), Afia efere (white soup)and pounded yam, Edita Iwa ye Mmansang (Tapioca and groundnuts), Afang, Ekpang Nkukwo, Atama, Editan soup, and all other assorted traditional dishes.
After that, the groom and his entourage are invited into the marriage scene but not without them giving the youth and women of the girl's villages whatever they ask of him so that he can have free passage into the ceremony. A wedge is kept to obstruct their entrance into the venue and if they don't meet their demands they won't pass. It is mandatory that the groom and his family meet their demand at that spot.
Some villages in Ibibio gets money while others gets salt (women), while the youths gets ball for themselves. After he is permitted to go into the venue with a danceable song with his entourage. Before he seats, some funny exercise are given to him to do to prove he is capable of handling his wife to be. After the test, he is assured to seat on the traditional hut prepared for him awaiting his bride.
Then the bride is called upon but the bride does not come in until several entertaining processes takes place like bringing several maidens as the bride. During this process, the family of the bride ask the man for transport fare to go and bring their bride claiming that the bride is far away from their and needs transport fare to bring her down. Some cash her given to the entertainer of the day who goes to bring the bride and then the bride comes out with her entourage as well with her full attire of wrapper and a blouse to go.
On her way to meet her hubby, she greets all the families and friends she invited culturally most especially the groom's family. She walks into the venue with her entourage and an umbrella over her head with a danceable song as well.
After that, before she returns to her seat, she is given a cup with a drink inside depending their choice of wine. Most times they use palm-wine while those who do not accept that uses wine. she goes to her husband and hands him the cup filled with drink to let everyone know that he is taken and belongs to her.
They walk down to the family ask them to kneel down and together, the family, the church and everyone present prays for them after collecting the cup from them to bless the beginning of their home. Their rings are blessed and given to them to exchange and the traditional cake is cut.
Then the bride follows her groom home but today, the bride remains in her family house until after the white wedding is done which is always done in the church to consumate their marriage.
