I Can Tell You Who You Really Are If You Are Ready For It!

No, it’s not an internet quiz or whatever superficial stuff, what I’m about to tell you needs to be very well interpreted and it’s going to show you something you've may never taken into consideration. Read it slowly until the end and take some minutes to think about it.

Who we are, according to many psychologies stands, is a projection of our parents or people we had taken care of us as children, at first. As we are new in the world, as most of animals, we tend to repeat what the older ones do, in order to have acceptance and survive. So, the values those people who look after us, gave us when we were children, are taken as sacred. Since they have reached so far in life following them (as a survival system). After a while we start having experiences with friends, teachers and people who represents high authority, and sometimes, they carry knowledge that add to our personality or even challenge those points of view that you had always had as sacred. At this point, we tend to make a choice. What would you do? Believe in your teacher who says the cold rain doesn’t get you the flu, but so the viruses and low immunity, or in your grandmother who told you not to have ice cream and go into the pool or else you would get sick? Your brain is always trying to make connections between information, and if you can’t recycle them you may end up with some kind of cognitive dysfunction. When your brain can’t process two distinct information that you have taken as truth. One way or another you’re going to decide or adapt that information to your personality (and normally people who don’t deal with it, will get angry or confused when someone bring up that information at some point of life).

Well, here is where we start the part where I can tell who you really are. We all carry some childhood trauma or fear, and those normally were given to us by those primary caretakers. So general people end up or projecting those traumas repeating them, or being the total opposite of it.  For instance, as a child a man could never play outside because his parents wouldn’t allow for safety reason. As an adult that man either spend all his money on travelling or would prevent their kids to play with their friend, repeating unconsciously what their parents did to him. It’s extremely easy to see those patterns in other people, however, it’s difficult to see in ourselves.  

   Everybody, after being stimulated by songs and movies, at some point in life, takes a stand and say “It’s who I am and I will not change”. Then I leave them with the question. “Is who you are what you chose to be or what they made you become?”.  In order to find out who you really are, you have to look back and see if your personality traits are not trying to protect you from something happening again. Rejection, disappointment, sadness they all change who we are. So, take into consideration, that we all have been compromised at some point in life. Inside, we are that kid who just wanted to play in the garden but end up being stung by a bee, and now that kid hates insets, garden and traveling because it’s too risky.

Although now you are considered adult, those experiences are still recorded in your mind, however, now you can interpreted them better. When you realize that those experiences are actually controlling you, you will be able to rewrite them as you wish, of course it can be a long process.

So, who you really are?

First, don’t get me wrong, you are NOTHING and then you are whatever you choose to be. Actually, you are a blank sheet after you disassociate from everything you have lived and believed so far. I mean, you stop being a character created by life experiences.

See, when someone call you names, who are they calling? The CHARACTER. When you get angry, who is angry? IT’S THE CHARACTER. When you are getting into a fight because someone mocked you, you are actually defending the CHARACTER! Have you ever noticed that, when someone gets mad at a joke, people feel encouraged to mock them even more? Because it’s a character mocking another character to try to prove themselves that they are real! And when you realize it's not, you don’t waste your energy.  However, now you can consciously draw your character, just like in a videogame, and use that energy to build a better one who’s going to make you break cycles and have new experiences. If you want to become a successful businessman/businesswoman, design an ideal mental picture of it, and ask yourself, how did this character would react at this point of life where I’m, so I became him/her? You see, it looks easier to become a loser, an evil person or a victim of society because we have many references daily. But they are all characters on the play of life. When you start following successful people, without judgement and seeing how they act while facing hard situations of life. you notice they see the world with a different perspective. by now, you might be picturing it and that’s exactly it, then you start acting as you chose to be, as that character is.

This theory was studied by Carl Jung, a psychoanalyst who had great influence of the occidental psychology. According to him, people identify themselves to the archetypal and they play along, but they are actually The Self, the being controlling the body, the real one before everything. The ego is just a character, playing on the theater of life, until one day they realize who they really are and start living the real one, the life they choose!

Long story short, who you believe you are is actually a construction of situations that brought you here. When you give a break and clear your mind to find out who you really are. You’ll be able to notice that you are nothing people or even you believe you are. At this point you have to let the past go, and feel your white paper ready to be rewritten, and remember that, even the new character is not you, you are something before that, before everything, you are the one watching the play of life.

Thank you for reading!

Evan Oliveira