04-11-22 | Eurydice

Last week, one of my close friends told me about how she and her boyfriend ended their relationship. They broke up, she said, because of her boyfriend's attitude. Her partner used physical attacks on her every time they fought, making her an abused girlfriend. She simply put up with everything until she made the decision to officially end their relationship. She first messaged me, asking for my opinion, and I immediately agreed after hearing her sentiments. Nobody has the right to be treated in this manner. If you truly care about someone, you must constantly keep your hands off of her body. You don't have the right to utilize physical attacks or anything like that.

She contacted me again two days after their breakup and rambled on about an urgent issue. Her boyfriend, she told me, wants all of the things that he gave her back. What kind of attitude do you have there? My friend, on the other hand, accepted it and returned all of the exact items. She explained to me that it is preferable for her to live a calm life because her ex-boyfriend will no longer have a reason to contact her.

After that, I realized that, even if they appear to be happy on social media, we can't simply assume that they are happy in real life. That event prompted me to start a blog exploring the link between the Red and Green Flags. You must first get to know someone before dating them. You must become more careful and meticulous in your partner selection since, in the end, you will be the one who suffers.

RED FLAGS IN A RELATIONSHIP

Criticism

A true partner would never berate you or criticize you in any way. I mean, it's fine to critique, but you must do so in a kind manner. One example is criticizing your partner's attire or appearance. Every time my friend and her boyfriend went out on a date, she felt bad about herself. Her boyfriend wants her to wear attractive dresses, so anytime she wears jeans, he criticizes her, saying things like "you don't have a sense of style." That's already a red flag.

Defensiveness

It's fine to defend ourselves on occasion, but not to the point that we become guilty as a result of over-explaining. An example is when you found out that your partner is chatting someone in messenger. You just asked them " who is that?" and then they will immediately say "she's/he's just my friend, why? you will accuse me again of cheating? Is that what you wanna say? chu.ii". Well, you were just asking who she/he is but your partner became over defensive. Perhaps he or she is concealing something.

Contempt

A healthy relationship requires a balance of supremacy between the partners. No one is better than the other. Every partnership requires mutual understanding and respect. If you believe your partner has become superior to you and makes all of your decisions for you, that's already a red flag. For example, your husband will not allow you to work since he knows you can earn more money than he does. You must never allow them to make decisions for you; your brain is superior to your heart, so you must always follow your brain's lead.

So, now that we've covered what you should avoid, let's look at what you should seek out!

Green Flag in a Relationship

They honor your no.

A good partner will definitely respect and honor your No's. They will not force you to do something you didn't like. If you don't like to wear sexy clothes, then they will accept it!. If you don't like to go out because you're tired, they will respect it! That's definitely a green flag.

You Find Yourself Laughing And Smiling A Lot

You will always feel happy, even in tiny things, if you are with the right person. You're already smiling at the prospect of remembering him/her. You love being in their company. That's all there is to it. Feeling well in each other's presence is a good sign in the early stages of a relationship. Do you feel joyful? Are you smiling more than you usually do? Are your friends noticing a positive change in your mood?

4. You Want Similar Things in Life

If you share common values with your partner, such as kindness, trust, honesty, and ambition, it's a big plus. Whatever is important to you should be important to them as well. Pay attention in the beginning to see if you're on the same page.

While you're getting to know each other, you should also discuss your long-term goals. One of the leading causes of divorce among young couples is a lack of a common vision of achievement. It's a discussion you can have right away. What does it mean to you to be successful? Are they in agreement?

Author's Note:

If you're thinking of starting a serious relationship with someone special, make sure you know exactly what you're getting yourself into. Your love is, after all, a gift. Don’t you want that gift going to someone who truly deserves it?

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Lead.image: Edited in PicsArt.