How did I know I was bisexual?

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Avatar for Erzel
Written by
3 years ago

Hello everyone! Before anything else, I just want to introduce my self here even if no one is interested. I'm erzel, 22 years of age and I'm proudly pinoy. I'm also part of LGBTQ community. I'm a bisexual and today I want share how I start being bisexual. Sorry if have a wrong grammar, I'm not professional in english. It's hard for me to talk in english but I hope you enjoy!

Being part of the LGBTQ community is one of the hardest situation you need to decide. Being part of this community is not a joke. Many people will judge you about your personality. You have a different side, someone will tempt you until you reach the point where you cannot go outside your house because you are shy about being part of this community.

When I was in second year high school, I had 5 girl friends and I think 3 boy friends only. I'm the type of person that I will not approach you, if you're not the one who approach me first. I'm a shy person. Then, one day the beautiful one girl approach me, she's not just beautiful, she's kind, friendly and generous.

The days go by, I always want to see and talk to her. I don't know why but it's not bad to have a crush, right? It's just a crush and it's part of growing up. I'm also a naughty person and I want to see her smiling because of me. (HAHA BATA PA KIRI NA) I don't know why she is really different. Just as a man likes a woman based on behavior, so maybe I like her but I did not think I was a man. I think that's normal. Since we became close, we are always together going to the room, eating lunch and going home almost every day until school year ends. Of course with my three friends who are also her friends.

We are in third year of high school, we still doing the same thing. Same routine, same friends. If we're all have a free time, sometimes we go to their places for a trip.

In the middle of being in third year of high school, it suddenly became awkward. We are not the same as before. (Just like magjowa haha) Seriously, suddenly we don't pay much attention anymore. It looks like she doesn't want me with her anymore, I don't know why. Maybe she already realizes that I crushed on her or maybe some of my classmates are already teasing her. But I haven't admitted it yet because I still don't know if I really like her or if I'm just happy when she's with me. Is there such a thing?

I just let her go if she doesn't want to be with me. The day I was looking for was passing by again and that's when I started to wonder to myself what I really was. Until the end of third year and fourth year of high school when I did not admit to her.

I'm afraid if they will judge me as a lesbian, that I will be rejected because I like women. Because for those ages, liking a woman's fellow woman is the immediate result of being a lesbian. We don't have idea about being bisexual.

A few years later, I met a woman on Facebook who was also a troop of my friends. I sent her a message on the messenger for no reason. Nothing, I just want to chat with her. Not because I'm boring but because I see again my crush to her.

With those simple hi and hello, we became close. She invited me to come to their house just to talk. I'm still nervous because I don't know what I'm doing in my life. I have never felt love for her, it feels like I was just like in high school. We met every day, sometimes I always at their house and that day I started to like her and day goes by we have mutual feelings so we decided to have a relationship And that's when I thought I might be a lesbian but when we were in our relationship for two months, I only found out about the other gender. The bisexuals came out and the others were just having fun. Some of friends also reveal their true personality and I decided also to reveal my true personality. They accept me for who I am.

Take note, she is my first girlfriend but we did not last long in the relationship due to many family complications. But I'm happy now because I have girlfriend and we're living together for almost 1 and half month.

One thing I learned on this experience, you need to suffer and receive first hurtful words before you can have the courage to admit what you really are.

The only thing you can do if you're part of LGBTQ community and you don't want to stress yourself is don't mind them.

Thank you for reading!

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Written by
3 years ago

Comments

Even today, people discriminate on the basis of someone's sexual orientation. I am sad that this is happening all over the world, especially in less developed countries. I try to educate people around me as much as possible, to make them aware that discrimination is a bad thing and to respect other people's human rights. I even wrote a few LGBTQ articles on this blog and it seems to me that people have responded positively. Take a look if you have time, I would appreciate your opinion.

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3 years ago

Are you part of this community? Of coure, I will .

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3 years ago

I consider myself pansexual :)

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3 years ago

Wow, really? That's great.

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3 years ago

So brave my love!!!!!!

Supreme love n light Bless up!

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3 years ago

Thank you so much 💗

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3 years ago

No matter who you are and whatever your status in life is, for as long as you are happy and you hurt no one, there is nothing wrong. Whoever we are, that is God's will.

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3 years ago

They still discriminating LGBTQ. They said that being a gay or lesbian is not in God's will. But anyways, thank you.

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3 years ago

We are all created equally in the eyes of God. I believe that whatever or whoever an individual is, it is because that's the plan of God to him/her.

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3 years ago

I totally agree with you. We're part of LGBTQ community but we are also human. We deserve also a reapect. 👏

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3 years ago

All respect to our brother and sisters in LGBTQ Community. P.S. I am not part of the community =)

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3 years ago

Wow! I thought your part of this community. 😅✌️ sorry.

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3 years ago

I'm not. But I have gay and lesbian friends and I have a lot of respect to them.

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3 years ago

My bad. But good to hear. 👏

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3 years ago

So how's everything with your friend? Are you still in touch with her? Did you make things clear to her?

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3 years ago

We don't have any communication to each other and I dont want to clear my feelings before. She has now a family. We're friends in facebook but we don't talk anymore.

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3 years ago

Oh really, a family of her own? Well, some things are meant to let go and you just have to move on with it. 😁

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3 years ago

Yes. She's just a 20 when she got pregnant. Of course, I already move on. I'm happy now in my partner. Were living together and our relationship is legal for both sides. 🙃

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3 years ago

Wow. That's good to know 😁

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3 years ago

Yes, thank you 🙃 Don't forget to subscribe. ✌️

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3 years ago

Consider it done 😁

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3 years ago

Thank you 🙃

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3 years ago

Your grammar n sentence's just fine po, don't mind those people or person po, just do what u like, what u want po, it's your happiness, not theirs po, some people tend to judge po anyway, do what makes u happy n what u love po

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3 years ago

Yes po. I'm just wondering if my grammar was correct or wrong. I'm new to this po kasi kaya nagwoworry ako sa grammar ko. But when it comes to being part of this community, I'm okay. I dont mind what other people saying. I'm proudly out for being bisexual in my family. 🙃

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3 years ago

There's nothing wrong with your grammar nor with your sentence po, pwde po na kng nhihirapan po kaung mg-english, itaglish nyo nlng po, aq po un kadalasan ang gngwa lalo na po kpag loading o mhina po sagap ng aking head po, lol, that's good po, gwin nyo lng po ung gusto nyo at hindi po kau mkakasagasa o mkakapanakit ng iba po

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3 years ago

Ah sige po. Sa susunod na hindi ko po kaya try ko magtag lish. Salamt po sa suggestion 🙃

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3 years ago

Opo, welcome po 🙂

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3 years ago

This is true story or not I don't know but I feel being bisexual is not a bad thing. But suppressing ourself is bad thing. if we like someone it's okey regard less of gender. But if we like them and don't express then I think that is bad think. Anyway I enjoyed .

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3 years ago

Yes this true story. That was my experience before I discovered I'm part of this community. You're absolutely correct. Is my grammar was okay?

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3 years ago

I don't know I am also a learner . And the message you wanna give through your writing I have received it

That's okey don't focus on grammar . So do I. Just write.

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3 years ago

Oh. Sorry, my bad. I'm just curious if someone correct me on my wrong grammar. 😅

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3 years ago