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We Changed Roles

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Written by   180
1 year ago
Topics: Father, Mother, Die, Funeral,, Ritual, ...

Hello everyone again after a three-day hiatus. My followers have noticed that I haven't been able to post for a few days. I had to stay away from the virtual world due to a tiring 12-hour bus journey and some urgent work. My last articles were on the game of chess. I even started a series of articles on teaching children chess. I will continue that series of articles, but today I will tell you about a different subject. Our topic is happy death.

About 10 days ago, I told you that my father has a health problem. Two hours before my father died, I learned that he had heart failure. He actually had an anemia problem. We thought that he had a breathing problem due to the lack of blood in his body. Because he had a similar problem 2 years ago when he had stomach bleeding. However, this time he was diagnosed with heart failure and my father hid it from us. Adults can be kids sometimes. Since my sister and I live in a different city 12 hours away from our parents, we did not have the opportunity to reach the truth.

I got the news of my father's death while I was eating at home after my dental treatment. My mother was sobbing on the phone like a little child. She said she couldn't wake my father and that he was gone. My father died while he was sleeping. I was happy for my father that he died peacefully while he was sleeping. At that moment, I was not sad that my father died, but that my mother was sobbing. Imagine a 68-year-old woman sobbing like a child. It is very normal for a person to cry. Anyone can cry, no matter how old they are. However, there was a childlike purity and sincerity in my mother's crying. That's when I realized that we had switched roles. In any negative situation, children cry out to their parents and hope that they can find a solution in desperation. Here's my mother, like a little child, telling me that my father was gone. Parents become children after a certain age and we children become like their parents.

Besides, it fell to me to console my sister. She started to cry like a child too. Of course, it is not easy for a person to accept the death of their father or husband. I understand them very well. As for me, I have never cried. I don't think I will cry anymore. I didn't cry because I didn't approach this situation like my sister and mother. I wasn't even sad because my father died. Death is not a punishment, but a salvation. According to our belief, it is not right to shed tears after a deceased person. Do not take this as a rigid understanding. Islam is a religion that gives flexibility to people in many issues, and relaxes people psychologically. Of course, we certainly tolerate those who weep after their loved ones have passed away.

It can be said that my father lived a good life. My father was a person who tried to live honestly, believed in God and took care to fulfill his prayers.

Today I will tell you a little about the funeral ceremony. I would like to tell you what kind of funeral rituals are performed in our country in accordance with our religion. This may sound interesting to you.

First, the deceased is taken to the morgue. I think there is a similar application all over the world. Our hospital morgues have a section for washing the dead. According to Islamic principles, the dead should be buried cleanly. After the body of the deceased is washed by the officials, it is wrapped in white cloth and carried to the cemetery in a coffin. Funeral prayers are held near the cemetery, and then the deceased is buried. We do not bury our dead in coffins. We just wrap it in white fabric and bury it. I briefly described the ritual. Now I want to talk about my experiences at my father's burial.

The clergy of the village where my parents lived came with me to the hospital morgue in the early hours of the morning to wash my father's body. I waited in front of the door while the two attendants washed my father's body. Then one of the attendants opened the door and said that I had to pour water on my father's body one last time. I hesitated at first because I had never approached a dead body before. After gathering my courage, I entered the washing section and poured water on my father's body for the last time. After wrapping it in white cloth, we wrapped it in a blanket so that it would not be damaged while being transported, and we placed my father's dead body in the coffin together with the religious officials. We loaded the coffin in the hearse and took it to the cemetery. The people of the village came there and the funeral prayer was performed.

After the funeral prayer, the coffin had to be carried to the grave. This is a very interesting part because people are competing with each other because they believe that carrying a coffin brings a lot of rewards. Coffin carriers change every 5-10 seconds. In other words, while you are carrying the coffin, someone comes and takes your place. A few people are even competing to take your place. This may sound strange to you. It seemed strange to me, too, and I didn't really get into that race. I could only carry the coffin for 6-7 seconds.

When we arrived at the tomb where my father would be buried, his body was removed from the coffin. The body of the deceased must be lowered into the grave by one of his children or relatives. This is a very important ritual. So I had to enter the grave dug for my father. My cousin went into the tomb with me. Then other people gave us the dead body, and my cousin and I placed my father in the tomb. So, I placed my father in his grave with an embrace. I didn't have any feelings about it. I was pretty calm. I did what I had to do. After covering the grave with earth, we placed the tombstone and the funeral ceremony ended after the religious official said a few prayers. We bid farewell to my father...

May God forgive his sins and accept him into heaven.

I'm not really sorry. I was even happy that he died in his sleep. I have never cried and will never cry.

Remember, death is salvation, not punishment.

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Written by   180
1 year ago
Topics: Father, Mother, Die, Funeral,, Ritual, ...
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Comments

Sorry for your loss, if I were you though I will definitely mourned I would be happy if my Father would die in peace too. We don't have that superstitious belief in carrying coffins, only that, do not carry if you had a pregnant wife. It is a black omen

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1 year ago

Each region has different funeral rituals. I don't think about mourning because we don't have a tradition about it. Thank you my friend :)

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1 year ago

Yeah, I understand, there are some religions that insteadvod mourning they are actually singing on funerals. As theybare celebrating one's salvation

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1 year ago

Father's loss is never a happy news no matter how sinful the father is... sorry for your loss

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1 year ago

You misunderstood my post my friend. I did not say that the news of my father's death made me happy. I said I'm glad he died without suffering.

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1 year ago

I said "Never happy" .. omg.. who would be happy when their father dies .. no way.. and thanks for the clarification

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1 year ago

Yes your right death is salvation, I'm Catholic but not that devotee, we do also have many rituals due to some old beliefs in the family like we mourn the dead for 9 days, but for me if I would die I wanted to be cremated after a day I dont want to be a public viewing for 9 days its so stressful for the family. I like the Muslim show respect for the dead hope your father find his salvation in the arms of God.

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1 year ago

Thank you for your nice words bro. After the death of their relatives, there is a process of mourning. But we don't have a ritual of grieving. Some foods are cooked and distributed only for the deceased.

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1 year ago

Yaşayan her canlı bir gün ölümü tadacak. Hepimizin bir günü, saati var. Baban için baş sağlığı dilerim. Merhumun mekanı cennet olsun ve rabbim geridekilere sabır versin. Babamda kalp yetmezliğine bağlı olarak kalp piliyle yaşamını sürdürüyor. İlk pil 8 yıl dayandı, şimdiki ise son kontrolde 2 yıl daha gider denildi. Doğru çıkarsa buda 7 yıl dayanmış olacak. Kalp yetmezliği tedavi edilebilir bir rahatsızlıktı, keşke durumu sizlere anlatsaydı ama kaderi böyleymiş. Allah sizlere uzun ömürler versin.

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1 year ago

Amin kardeşim. Sağ ol. Evet, her nefis bir gün ölümü tadacak. Ben de babana ve tüm ailene ve de sana tabiki sağlıklı ve huzurlu bir ömür diliyorum.

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1 year ago

After reading I don't know whether to say sorry or not, but nevertheless you're going to miss the presence of your dad, mAh God give you the strength to scale through. Your are a strong man

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1 year ago

Thank you. Of course I will miss him. I still think there is nothing to worry about. She died without much pain.

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1 year ago

Sorry for your loss and may God forgive his sins... I wish I was there when my father died too, maybe I will embrace his body before been buried. Nevertheless all glory belongs to God...

Peace

OkanlaDavid

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1 year ago

I couldn't make it to his last moments, but at least I was able to catch up with his funeral. Thank you my friend. Amin

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1 year ago

First of all, my deepest sympathies to you and your family. Your words give me some strength. If I could think like you, I would be very happy. I would like to believe that death is salvation and not punishment, but I still can't do it. My father died at the age of 57, 10 months ago, suddenly and I also had a role change. My mom is infinitely sad, I comfort her and I feel very bad. Every day I cry and blame myself for not doing something to prevent his death even though everyone tells me I shouldn’t think that way. I was very connected to him. A part of me is gone. The way of burial is similar in our country, it is very painful for me. Trauma for whole life.

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1 year ago

Death is not the end for a person, but the beginning of his eternal life. Please stop blaming yourself, Jeka! We are not strong enough to prevent certain things. For example, you can be happy for the good times you spent with him. He left you good memories. I wish patience to your mother and you. I hope good memories shed light on your life. with Love...

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1 year ago

Thanks for the kind words Erdo. Your article left a strong impression on me. I can't stop thinking about everything you said. I feel some strength in your words. Thank you for that. I also wish your mother a lot of strength now. And thanks a lot for renewing the sponsorship.

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1 year ago

Not at all. I am happy if I could comfort you a little. I will pass on your words to my mother. He will be very pleased with it.

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1 year ago

Crying loudly and sobbing are prohibited in Islam but the natural phenomena of a woman is totally different then a man . She is weak in courge and lite in emotions. Really very sad to know about your father . May Almighty Allah bless his soul rest in peace! Yes I agree with you the time switched the roles of our life . Our priorities change , mindset & thinking change , taking things in different aspects change , feelings and emotions for certain types change. That is life dear !!!! We have to live with our new role.

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1 year ago

Thank you for your good wishes. Amin

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1 year ago

Thank you for your good wishes. Amin

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1 year ago

May God forgive his shortcomings and grant him jannah. Ameen.

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1 year ago

amin bro. Thanks

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1 year ago

Really sad and sorry about the passing of your father.. i also noticed the break but knew it was on purpose and not due to inability to communicate. Yes , i agree that in one way roles would be changed ; children grow up to take care of children while parents run to children for help .. it is an unending cycle

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1 year ago

Yes, life has such a cycle

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1 year ago