A Call Unanswered

"How do I look?"

You asked me as you turned on your heels to face me with the edges of your lips curved upwards.

I wasn't able to reply immediately since your unbuttoned polo caught my attention. The first button was left open so I stepped forward, buttoned it up and fixed your collar to make it look neat.

After a week of break, you were once again leaving for work.

"You look like the coolest doctor ever," I replied with a giggle.

You flicked my forehead and smiled at me.

"I am the coolest doctor," you emphasized.

As we walked downstairs, you wrapped your arm around my shoulder protectively. I heard you sigh and I was uncertain if it was out of sadness or exhaustion. I wanted to ask but maybe I was overthinking so I brushed it off. Upon reaching the door, you faced me and interlaced your hands with mine. You leaned your forehead on mine and looked at me straight in the eyes.

Your hazelnut-colored eyes still captivated me until this very moment and you knew that. You smiled at me and closed your eyes, savoring the moment between us. You were always so sweet to me even after years of marriage.

"I'm sorry for leaving you here alone again. But I promise to return so we could celebrate the day of our marriage," you apologized.

I shook my head and gazed at your dazzling eyes as I tightened my grip on your hands. I didn't want you to apologize at all because I knew you love your work as much as you loved me. Besides, you being on a day off was a celebration itself.

"Do not worry about me, I can manage myself. Do your work and come back home, okay?"

I cupped your cheeks and felt your warmth. I ran my fingers through your hair and you giggled at that because you knew that it was one of the things I liked doing the most.

You responded with a nod before slowly leaning towards me-closing the gap in between us-for a kiss. Your kisses were always gentle and warm that the butterflies in my stomach flutter around.

"Be careful," I whispered.

When I looked down on the ground because I was unable to look into your eyes, you cupped my cheeks with your large hands and kissed my forehead.

"I'll just be one call away." You hugged me tight as if trying to convince me that everything will be alright and that this day, as you leave for work, will just be like the ordinary days that passed before.

Okay, we nuzzled at each other for too long. I was being kind of selfish right now.

To no longer delay you, I opened the car door and smiled. I wanted you to leave without having to worry about me a lot. I wanted you to go to work and devote your time to those people who needed your service and presence more than I do.

With one last quick kiss, you entered the car and started the engine.

I waved goodbye as I watched you disappear on the road before going back inside our house.

Closing the door behind me, I immediately ran to the comfort room holding something on my hand. If my speculation was right, it'd be a real blast of news for me, and most especially for you. If it's positive, it'll be one great celebration!

Stuck inside the house alone, I did some cleaning and washing to keep myself busy. My nerves were chaotic and restless out of excitement, hoping that you'd come home as soon as possible.

Being a doctor, you rarely come home so I was so happy when you got a week off your work. I was able to be with you for quite long after our marriage.

However, my excitement was slowly being devoured by anxiousness and fear when you weren't able to step inside our home after a month when I had sent you off to work. I knew you were busy and I had to deal with it since you are a man who needs to save other people's lives. All I could do was endure. But this time, something inside me was just unsettling, though I could not pinpoint what was really wrong.

Within the month of your absence, I only got to hear your voice once in every week. You were so happy to tell me that you and your team have saved lives, I could even imagine how you smile while you were telling me that.

One night when the clock struck seven in the evening, the television was on to at least liven up the quietness inside our home. I grabbed my phone. Usually at this time, you had some free time to at least answer my call even if it was just a span of one minute.

"Saving a life is more than a fortune," you said. You were always telling me that and it was something I wanted to pass on.

I dialed your number and had my eyes fixed on the television while waiting for you to answer. I wanted to tell you how much I missed you, how I wanted to hug and kiss you. And how I wished for you to be here so I could tell you a very pleasant news.

With my phone still ringing, the news caught my attention. It was about the sudden outbreak of a certain virus. I got up from my seat when there was a report of a certain doctor who just died because of the Covid-19 virus that had been plaguing the country for months now.

"Please, answer me," I begged. In my mind, I was asking for countless pleas that the doctor mentioned wasn't you. We were talking just fine the other week when I last called. You never mentioned about you being affected by that virus so I was hoping that my instinct this time was completely wrong.

"Please, answer the call."

I was already sobbing for it was now the fifth ring yet you were not picking up the call. I bit my nail to somehow calm myself.

My vision got blurry due to the tears welling up so I wasn't able to dial your number for the second time. But then, my phone rang, making my heart almost skipped a beat. With my eyes still focused on the television, I answered the call with a shaky hand.

Sparing no second, I immediately answered since I thought that it was you calling me back.

"Baby, I almost had a heart attack because you weren't answering. Are you busy right now? Should I call later instead? I am watching the news about that virus, are you doing okay, baby?"

But then, the relief that once showered me vanished. I came to a stop when I heard another man's voice on the other side of the line.

"Mrs. Gerardo," he said.

I knew that the caller was referring to me but I did not reply immediately. A lot of things were in my mind that I was like a computer that lagged for a few seconds.

"Y-Yes, Mrs. Gerardo speaking," I stuttered.

Though there was a chance that the man who called me back was your colleague, the thought of you not being able to take a step back into this house that was built just for us clouded my mind.

I shook my head.

No, no. I needed to stay positive. I needed to believe that everything shall be okay.

"I'm sorry but Doctor Gerardo just passed away."

Hearing that statement made my world deprived of sounds.

The image of us that I have pictured in mind slowly cracked like a mirror. The sound of shattering dreams start to overwhelm me as I called you again...and again...and again.

I held my belly and cried my heart out as an image of a child asking where his father is played repeatedly like a broken record. Such a scene broke my heart.

I dialed again, still hoping that what I heard was not true. I called you for the nth time.

But you never answered.