Fate (Final Chapter)
"Miss Lisa, we'll be starting in 5 minutes."
I simply nodded. This was my very first time to be in this kind of event so my heart was thumping like crazy and butterflies continued to flutter inside my stomach. I looked around—the staffs were walking here and there in preparation for the big event and the tension was somehow pressuring me.
My nerves were on edge, in any moment, I might faint out of nervousness. But I hope that doesn't happen or it'll be a huge mess.
"Here's your pen." My editor handed me a personalized box and inside it was a fountain pen with my name carved on it. It was of the same look as that magical pen before. My nervousness was slowly washed away with just the look of it.
As I got out from the backstage and sat on the chair in front of thousands of people queuing, I couldn't help but mix my excitement with nervousness yet again. It was a different feeling that I wasn't used to yet.
The first person stepped forward and laid a white book on the table. It resembled my white notebook and even though it wasn't the real thing, the bittersweet memories came rushing back. From the moment I got ahold of the magical notebook and pen to the time I met Leo, from the moment I got chained and trapped in my own delusions up to the moment where I finally got to let Leo free from my grasp.
I opened the book and scribbled my signature, as well as leaving the lesson I learned from my past—'Your happy ending is my happy ending.'
It took years of torment and pain before I came to realize that. And now that I had experienced such pain, I wouldn't want others to repeat that same mistake.
After that confrontation with Leo, after seeing him break down with my own two eyes, I was devastated. I never realized how evil I had become just because I was able to manipulate my fate with just a scribble on a notebook. It was unfair for him.
I couldn't turn back time to undo all the things I did so all I can do after that event was to free him and myself. I was dwelling in the past, even up until this moment, but unlike before, I was compensating today. At least, I hope that was what I was doing.
"I really love your book, Miss Lisa," said one of the attendee, "because it helped me move on."
Hearing such words directly from them and not just by reading their letters, softened my heart. This was what I wanted—to make other people realize that accepting their mistake and doing the right thing would free yourself from the maze of pain.
"Thank you." That was all I could say. I was afraid that if I say another word, I would break into tears, which would be quite unsightly in front of the crowd.
Signature after signature, I could feel my hand ache but with just a few shaking, it felt better. How can it not feel good when a lot of people spared their time to come in this book signing?
I was a bit preoccupied that I didn't get to look at the next person. I simply flipped the book and started to sign.
"Your story has become popular."
Hearing that familiar voice, I immediately looked up. I met his gaze, but this time, his eyes weren't filled with pain or sorrow or hatred unlike before. Instead, I saw relief. I flashed a smile and he did the same. Next time, next time, I want to see happiness in his hazelnut-colored eyes.
"But I rather call it our story," I chuckled. I looked away because my tears started to well up. I just feel so happy.
"That does sound better."
I handed him the book and with a smile plastered on his face, he accepted it.
"See you next time, Lisa."
"See you next time, Leo."
I watched his back as he walked away. Even though he forgave me all the things I did, it seems that it was I who couldn't come to completely forgive myself. I think that I didn't deserve his kindness.
After my confession years ago, he simply told me the pain and confusion he was going through all throughout the time he was with me. He didn't raised his voice, he didn't raise his hand on me. He simply spoke and after everything, he still told me that he forgave me.
Not only that, when I consulted him about making this book, he didn't hesitate to give his permission and even helped me write it.
For me, Leo was more than a blessing. And I wish and pray that he'd find happiness. Though the bitter truth of us still married cannot be erased because of my last entry. He was still tied to me even though we now live in different houses. That tie was a permanent scar to him that, no matter what, I cannot remove. It will forever remind me that that mistake I made was beyond repair—a lesson that I will bring to my grave.
After the book signing, I got home all by myself. Opening the door of this new home gave me new hope as well. It was quiet and almost empty but seeing the white notebook and pen on top of the table reminded me that it was filled with a lot of emotions and memories.
As I shut the door behind me, I felt the faint coldness in between my fingers. It was the ring that Leo gave me. I clutched it close to my chest. He may not be the man for me but my heart will always be his. That fact will not change.
Drops of tears ran down my cheeks, racing against each other.
"Your happy ending is my happy ending."
I continued to repeat those words to soothe myself.
Fate (Chapter 4)
"I'll spread my wings, and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway"
Leo sat on the edge of the bed as he unbuttoned the first two buttons of his polo. It was a gesture he always make to relieve some built-up anger and compose himself. He clasped his hands together and looked up to me. I flinched when he smiled.
"Lisa, from this moment on, I do not want to hear any lies coming from you." That was a warning. I knew that he wouldn't hurt me physically but I also knew that his words are sharper and more painful.
I walked towards the drawer and brought out both the pen and notebook. I gripped them, trying to absorb any courage lingering around me. His eyes followed me, watching every move I made and it tensed me that little by little, my built-up courage was slowly being chipped away.
Still, I knelt in front of him and laid the notebook and pen between us. Before any words could be spoken, I flipped on the first page and showed it to him. My throat suddenly went dry and I couldn't find my voice, making my heart beat faster in anxiousness. If I keep on being quiet, he would get confused and if I won't answer his question, he might hate me more than he could if only I could speak now right at this moment.
I had to, at least, confess everything not only for my sake but also for his. Other than me being trapped in hell that I created, Leo was in here, too, because I pushed him into this world of confusion and pain.
"Is that the so-called notebook where one can write his own destiny?" he finally asked. He didn't sound mad or stern but somehow, it still gave me the chills. I was expecting that he already knew of the existence of this notebook since it had been talked about for years but now that he asked me, I felt scared.
I simply answered him with a nod. However, before I could speak another word, he grabbed the notebook and set his eyes on every entry I wrote. He was quiet as he read through the pages and all I can do was wait. My heart thumped crazily and to control my nervousness, I clenched my fists tight until my nails dug into my flesh.
With the silence covering us, I could hear the ticking of the clock that sounded like a time bomb. Leo's expression didn't change much, he was only wearing his poker face that it was hard to guess what he was thinking.
But who am I kidding? Even if he looked like that, for sure, his hatred towards me will just grow. He had the right to get mad and loathe me since I was the reason why Gianna died. It was because of me that he never got the chance to have a happy ending with her.
"So." That was the very first word he said after an almost one hour of silence. He closed the notebook and looked at me with a serious stare.
"This is the source of all this confusion," he states. There was no hint of anger in his tone of voice. He didn't glare at me, he didn't look at me with scornful eyes.
He simply looked down and I was taken by surprise when he started to speak more than he did before.
"Gianna," he said in almost of a whisper, "is the one, up until now, that still holds my heart, Lisa."
I already knew that fact but hearing it directly from him was more painful than I thought it would.
"She was an orphan, you know that, too. She may look tough on the outside but she had a fragile heart. I knew that from the very start that's why I was always careful. We seldom fight but things just got weird. Sometimes, my body would act on its own even though my mind was thinking something different. Do you remember that one time, when Gianna came storming into the library? That was the very first fight we had."
He paused. I saw him tightened his grip on the notebook before speaking yet again.
"We managed to resolve it and I thought everything was going okay. But I was wrong, out of nowhere, I just proposed to you and Gianna even witnessed that. I saw her begging on her knees and I wasn't able to do anything. I promised her, Lisa, I promised her that I'd build a home for her and our children. I promised her that I'll have her walk the altar and I'll be waiting at the end of the red carpet. But just with this notebook, just with that pen, everything didn't go the way it should."
I could feel it, I could feel his pain. He never lifted his gaze at me because his eyes were overflowing with tears. This was the very first time I saw him like this. His shoulders quivered as he sobbed in front of me.
I reached out to him and clasped his hands while I was still on my knees.
"I... I'm so so-sorry, Leo," I cried, "I'm so sorry. It's...It's all my fault... I'm so sorry."
He didn't say anything. All he did was cry and it was unbearable for me to see him in such state. His pain, his sorrow, they were all because of me and now, I couldn't do anything to ease his burden.
I didn't want him to be like this. I'll do anything. I'll do anything to make him feel better. If I have to leave, I am willing to do so. I'll set him free, if that would make him feel better.
Just please, please, let Leo be free from this crushing pain.
Fate (Chapter 3)
'I cannot undo
what I have done;
I can't un-sing
a song that's sung.
And the saddest thing
about my regret—
I can't forgive me
and you can't forget.' (Lang Leav)
It was the first year after I got the magic notebook and pen. The first thing I wrote was that I would finish school with excellent grades. I was never the student that stood out in academics but after writing that entry, it felt like magic happened. I started performing well in school that other people started to rely on me which never happened before.
That was also the time I first met Leo in one of my Chemistry Laboratory subject. He was the guy just across me during experiments.
"Your result last week was almost accurate. How'd you do it?" he asked me with his sweet smile. He captivated me with just that one smile. It was the very first time I felt butterflies fluttering inside my stomach.
"I... I calculate everything three times and then, get the mean. That... is all." I was even stuttering which made him giggle. He said that I was an amusing girl and from that, we became close. I helped him in our experiments and he would pair up with me if needed.
However, when the semester ended, there was no longer a subject wherein Leo and I were classmate. I started to crave for an alone time with him. I became greedy that I included him in my entries on the notebook.
At first, I only wrote that during lunch time, we'd eat together and tell each other stories. But something happened.
"Hon, I brought your lunch." That one time when I thought everything was going okay, Gianna appeared. "Hi, you're Lisa, right? I'm Leo's girlfriend, Gianna. He told me about you, thanks for giving him a hand."
That very moment, jealousy clouded my mind. My hand itched, wanting to write on that notebook just for Gianna to disappear from the picture. I felt like a stupid third wheel when she came and I looked more than pathetic in everyone's eyes. It was as if they were saying that I got my hopes up in Leo's kindness.
That day, I wrote my entry; writing that Leo would spend more of his time with me rather than with Gianna.
Every passing day, I couldn't help but feel happy, seeing that Leo and Gianna were fighting often. I was sure that with just a little bit of time, they'd break up. But I was wrong.
During graduation, I decided to keep Leo for myself. In my entry, I wrote; Leo would propose no matter what. That single statement changed everything.
It severed the relationship of Leo and Gianna even though they still loved each other. And in front of everyone, Leo knelt on one knee in front of me and brought out a ring. It was a silver ring that glimmered under the bright lights. It was the happiest day of my life, I couldn't deny that fact. But at the same time, it was the day that Gianna lost her life.
After she begged me to let Leo go, she ran out from the campus with a hurry. She wasn't run over by a car. She didn't fall to her death. She didn't kill herself. It was because I killed her.
Leo ran after her and I was so afraid that he'd leave me so I followed him. I saw them talking and it pained me. Before I could step in and stop whatever conversation they had, Gianna fell on her knees.
"Gia!" That one shout of her name hit me like a lost bullet. It was just one word but it was full of worry... and love.
He turned to me with tears in his eyes and pleaded, "Call an ambulance, hurry!"
Gianna was clutching her chest as she tried to gasp for some air. I did brought out my phone but as I pressed every button of the emergency number, I was wishing that she'd die. That was the worst me. I wished for someone's death for my own good, I was so evil.
She was hurried to the hospital and Leo didn't want to leave unless he sees her safe and sound. But he didn't get to see that moment. Gianna was brought out from the emergency room—cold and lifeless.
With my very own two eyes, I saw how Leo broke into tears. He was leaning on the wall with his head low. I could hear him cry and even at such time, I thought he'd lean on me and would come to love me even just by a tiny bit.
"I'm so sorry," I said but he simply shook his head.
For years, I had kept my secret from Leo. I didn't dare tell him before because I was afraid that he might leave me, that he might tell his vow in front of the altar.
And now that my dream of him becoming one with me had become a painful chain holding us together, I became even more scared. I was scared that if I confess to him about the pen and notebook, he would forever loathe me until his very last breath. But with the magic pen unable to permanently mark the notebook, I felt like I had lost it and now everything was out of control.
I loved him, I still do and will love him for the next days to come but it pained me to see him tolerating our situation.
All of my sins weighed so heavy that it was crushing me. If I keep them all inside me, I'll break. That was why I came to a decision to tell everything to Leo now.
He just came from work and as I undo his tie. I gathered all of my courage to speak.
"Can we talk for a while?" I asked.
He looked at me and did not say anything. I undid his tie, grabbed his coat and put them on the laundry basket. I returned my gaze at him and this time, he was smiling from ear to ear.
"Have you decided to tell me everything?" he asked.
Fate (Chapter 2)
When Leo left the house, I stayed in our room still dumbfounded of what he told me. That was the very first time he spoke of words made of knives that dug so deep into my already wounded heart.
I had known, I had always known how he truly felt. He didn't love me; his heart didn't skip a beat when I smiled at him, there were no butterflies in his stomach whenever I spoke to him. It was just me who felt that. It was all one sided because he loved another woman.w
But despite knowing all of those, I still chose to tie him with me through marriage. With one ring and a vow, he was forever sealed mine and I was eternally sealed his. That was how selfish I was, that was how naive and childish I was.
I skimmed the pages of the notebook that was tainted by the ink of the pen. There were already thousands of words scribbled in it yet there were still a lot of pages left to write on. On the blank page, I started to write.
"I will file a divorce paper by 2 pm and tomorrow, Leo will sign in agreement. We will part ways this time. For sure."
He deserved to be happy, he deserved to be freed from me. But my frustration continued to build up as I watched the newly written words slowly vanish.
"Why the hell are you rejecting this entry?!"
A thunk resounded when the notebook hit the hard wall and the pen rolled over the mat beneath my feet. I've had enough! I've had enough of this bullshit life! Who wanted to live with a man who scorns his wife? Who wanted to see her husband feel so depressed because he wasn't living with the woman he truly loved?
But what really rooted me from the scary rock bottom I fell into was the fact that I brought everything, every misfortune in my life, upon myself. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't undo the mistake I had done.
The notebook I threw was there across the wall, it was open on a certain page. There was no use throwing it away since it won't bring back time, so I got up and picked it up. And right on the opened pages, I saw the very last permanent entry I had written 5 years ago.
'Leo and I shall never part after marriage. He and I will be on each other's side for a lifetime.'
After writing those two sentences, no words scribbled then stayed permanent. They'd slowly fade away as if telling me that I had written my fate enough.
I shut my eyes and the memories of the past came rushing back. I was desperate back then, so desperate to have Leo by my side, to have him stay beside me and never leave no matter what.
"Lisa, please, let him go. We know too well that it is I whom Leo truly loves." Those were the words of Gianna when she came begging on her knees. I could see desperation in her eyes that was the same desperation I had. She was crying while holding my hands, she was even groveling just for me to return Leo to her.
But I was not moved. I had the heart of steel whenever I faced the woman that Leo loved. How could I give him to her? If I do that, I'd be left alone crying at the corner of my room, then they'd be having their happy ever after. As if I'd let that happen! Never! I shall be the one to have a happy ever after!
"If Leo loves you, then he wouldn't leave you, right, Gianna? He already proposed to me and you have nothing to do about it." That was my reply to her. I was so mean. And that scenario was witnessed by Leo. He was standing from afar and in his eyes were tears falling drop after drop. He was probably confused because he was marrying a woman he didn't love and was leaving the one who held his heart.
But I didn't care that time for I had hoped that he'd eventually love me when we'll be together. But that never happened.
I chuckled at my own immaturity that time. Gianna never did me wrong but like a wicked witch, I caused her misery that she did not deserve. All she had was Leo because she was an abandoned child. Leo was her sanctuary and I took him away from her.
I wanted to set things straight. I kept writing a happy ending for the two of them but those words vanished from the notebook, rejecting my change of heart. I tried burning the notebook, hoping that Leo's tie would be cut from me but it never burned. I threw it away but the very next day, I'd see it inside my house. I poured water in it, wanting the words written to blur but it never did.
I tried to file a divorce, which was against my last entry, hoping that I would still be able to deviate from it. However, my request was continuously being rejected. And up until now, I couldn't do anything to escape from the maze of punishment I made for myself and Leo, who was dragged into it because of me.
As days passed by, I started to feel hopeless. There was no way out from this. I couldn't bear it any longer—looking at Leo's scornful eyes and misery. He didn't deserve a careless and self-centered woman like me, not even a tiny bit.
I gripped the notebook close to my chest and leaned my forehead on the cold floor.
"Please, stop. Stop this burning pain."
Was there really no other way? Will I forever suffer because of that reckless decision?
Please, someone. Please, someone tell me that I still have hope, that I can still make everything work fine.
Fate (Chapter 1)
My alarm clock was beeping for quite a while now after it hit 7:30am. The red lights of the digits continued to flicker as if it was on the same rhythm of the beating of my heart.
I covered myself with my white blanket and shut my eyes, wishing that I'll never awake.
Go back to sleep! Go back to sleep, you dumbass!
When the door creaked open, I never dared open my eyes and pretended that I was still asleep. The faint sound of footsteps started to come my way and before I could even prepare myself, he sat just on the edge of my bed. I felt his hand right on top of my head.
"Lisa, it's time for breakfast," he said. Those were the words I longed to hear for years ever since I saw him. I longed for his warm touch, his soothing voice and most of all, his ever important presence.
However, my heart that used to beat so fast whenever he looked at me, suddenly turned into a beat of anxiousness and guilt.
I uncovered myself and simply said, "Do wait for me in the dining room."
I never dared looked into his eyes. I passed by him and headed to the washroom that could temporarily enclose me with a bit of comfort. I looked at myself at the mirror. The shining happiness I used to see in my eyes lost its brightness and the genuine smile that was plastered on my face, was now nothing but a forced and fake one.
Opening the faucet, the water gushed out as I washed my face—savoring the cold touch of the water. If only I could drown myself into a freezing lake, I could have done it before and I wouldn't have to feel this way.
After I finished washing up, I hesitated to even go downstairs and face the man I ever loved the most. He would smile at me sweetly, greet me with a good morning and for sure, he had already cooked breakfast. He was too good... too perfect.
I pursed my lips and shut the door once again. My eyes wandered at the wide and bright room that was occupied by two people—me and my husband. It should radiate the feeling of home and love and happiness but...
I stared at the white notebook and pen placed on top of the table near the window. Whether I wanted to or not, I needed to continue writing on that hateful piece of paper. Whether I was in the mood or not, I'd still have to lift that pen and let its ink bleed.
Up until now, I wanted to erase everything and return to the time when I haven't written anything on it yet.
"Lisa, the food will get cold!"
Hearing him call out my name should be sweeter than the apple I ate yesterday but it tasted so bitter right now. I turned my back from it and shut my eyes. Breathing in and out, I calmed myself, I calmed the swirling emotions that, in any minute, would explode.
The door creaked open as I walked out from our room and headed to the dining room where he was waiting.
He flashed me the smile that made me fall for him back when we first met and I returned a forced smile. I should be happy, more than happy, now that he was here with me. And he was wearing the ring I gave him after we said our vows.
However, after what happened, happiness felt like it doesn't fit me anymore.
We ate in silence like how we usually do but it was deafening that I wished so hard that time would run faster.
"I'll do the dishes so you could prepare for work," I said.
He replied with a nod. After he drank a cup full of water, he stepped forward that made me lift my head and look at him.
The corner of his lips curved as he bent forward and left a kiss on my forehead. Ah, yes, how could I forget? He always do that every day.
"Prepare for work as well." He shuffled my hair before leaving alone in that room. I watched his back as he walked away and my heart started to wrench in pain.
I bit my lower lip to suppress the tears that wanted to leave my eyes. I even clenched my fists until my nails dug into my skin.
He suddenly turned his back and once again flashed a smile in my direction.
"I love you."
Those three words that should bring me bliss, those three words he had told me everyday suddenly turned into arrows piercing my heart every single time. Seeing his eyes told me everything how he truly felt, but his words and actions denied the emotions in his eyes.
I dropped the spoon and fork that clanged against the tiled floor, before running towards him. I hugged him tight. I hugged him tight just like that one night.
Like a broken tap, I cried on his chest with my arms around him.
"I'm so sorry, Leo," I apologized, "I truly am."
His hand caressed my hair as he ran his fingers through them. He held both of my shoulders and with his thumb, he wiped off the tears that damped my cheeks. He leaned closer until out foreheads touched and his eyes were closed. I stared at him, puzzled, for I do not know what exactly was he thinking. It has always been like that—he was unreadable. But he was able to see through me like I was just some transparent glass.
"I know," he whispered before hugging me back. His other hand ran up and down my back, slowly tracing my spine. He felt warmer, that was for sure, but no matter how his warmth radiated on my very skin, I felt the uneasy chills shooting through every part of my body.
"That's why I will never forgive you."
Fate (Prologue)
One in a million chance, a certain person would be granted the opportunity to gain control over his own fate. Just by one single notebook that never seems to run out of pages and one single pen that never loses ink, your fate is yours to decide.
The sun was blinding that day yet with the windows and curtains all down, the only source of light was my lampshade. And now, inside my almost empty and dark lit room, a notebook in a pure white and hardbound cover was right on top of my table. I was certain that I never bought such plain looking notebook and my mother told me that she never bought it either.
However, with this kind of situation where my instinct told me that I was the one given that golden opportunity, I couldn't help but feel anxious and ecstatic at the same time.
Thus, my life of pure bliss, which I was sure of, started during that supposed to be ordinary weekend.
Street Art
I will surely never get tired of seeing wonderful arts here in Session Road every Sunday. For today's highlight, it is a charcoal art by AEJI.
Colored arts are beautiful, and the same goes with charcoal arts. The artist is still working on another art when I took the picture but since we were in a rush, I was not able to take a photo of it. It's the smaller one just beside the finished art.
Spy x Family
I first read the manga of this one and it was not disappointing. It is the combination of action, romance, and comedy. And fortunately, it got adapted into an anime and it did not disappoint readers as well! The animation was awesome and the voice actors of the characters really gave life to it.
And just a while ago in Session Road, Baguio City, these awesome artists drew Anya and Damien in the latest episode where the former had punched the latter. They really nailed it!
Foreign Language
So there you have it. I never expected that we are going to learn another language aside from English and Filipino.
Just this afternoon, we met our teacher in this subject and he told us that throughout the semester, we would be learning Bahasa Indonesia. It came to me as a surprise and I think I am going to love this one.
We are still starting from the basics like self-introduction, and pronunciation of their alphabets. It's fun since it is something we can use to communicate with other people having that language.
This semester is going to be fun.
Anime&ML
Oxygn is probably my next favorite go-to shops whenever I go to the mall. Just this morning, we went there to see if my younger sister wants to buy something there. And upon entering, what greeted us were ML and anime shirts, shorts, jackets, and hoodies.
I actually already expected the Attack on Titan and Haikyuu-themed clothes since we saw them previously. I actually want to buy one shirt but decided not to because its color does not match the color of my skin. The shorts were also pleasing but... the price just punched me hard on the face. I still haven't received my salary so... yeah, I have to control myself.
What I did not expect was the Mobile Legends ones. I do know that ML is holding another event but it was a surprise to see it in Oxygn. Anyway, that's the highlight of today.
Sea of Clouds
Upon enrolment, I headed back to Bontoc to meet-up with my friends since we planned to have an overnight. It had been a while since we last saw each other since our schedules always do not match up and some of us are staying in Bontoc while the others are in Baguio.
(This was on our way to Bontoc.)
That Friday afternoon, we headed to Bauko, Mountain Province in order to visit the Iyaman Farm. There were a lot of delays so we arrived at the town around 6 PM. Guess what? It was already night time when we got there so it only meant one thing... we were to hike up the mountain at night and it could take 30-45 minutes.
And heavens, it was a real challenge because it felt like we were walking up a stairway to heaven. Another challenge was the fact that the pathway was not cemented. But that did not stop us from going further. It was tiring but seeing the destination in front of us just took the fatigue away.
Upon arrival, we could see the small huts and tents of varying sizes where the guests could stay. There were pine trees all around us, giving the nature and relaxing vibes of the place. They also had a small swimming pool where you can overlook the nearest barangay and beyond that is the mountains over mountains view.
The first thing we did was to put our bags in our assigned hut and immediately headed to the kitchen. We prepared all the things we needed before heading to the cottage for karaoke. And guess what? It was even more fun because it was only us who got the place for the whole night. After karaoke, we head down to another cottage for the bonfire where we shared stories with the caretakers. They told us about the foreigners, vloggers, and youtubers who visited as well as the media who came to feature the place.
They also let us borrow their gongs (or gangsa in our dialect) to play with. They are the traditional percussion instruments of the place which is also part of the Cordillera culture. It is usually played during rain calling, weddings, and other several occasions like Am-Among(translates to gathering in English) and Lang-ay where different places perform dances which we call as kanyaw or sagni.
So back to the farm. They called it “Iyaman Farm” because it used to be just a farm but was recently turned into a place where visitors could spend their vacation. There is also one thing we did not get to try and that is bathing on the large pot while under it is a fire to warm up the water. It would look like you are being slowly cooked and it is one of the things that others find exciting.
Other than the nature, what we looked forward to was the sunrise. Thus, we stayed up all night and when it was 5 in the morning, it was starting to get bright. What we really anticipated to see was the sea of clouds and seeing it with our own eyes was just simply breathtaking. The barangay across the mountain was no longer visible and all we could see was the clouds until 6 AM. Seeing it just made us realize that the sweat and fatigue we acquired while hiking up was definitely worth it.
If you plan to go to this place, you can visit their facebook page, Iyaman Farm, and contact them for more information.
Iyaman Farm
To those who are looking for a place to take a break from the busy streets and noise of the city and wants to explore nature, I recommend Iyaman Farm located at Bauko, Mountain Province. What makes it a bit different from the other places I have gone to was the fact that you have to hike up for about 30-45 minutes to reach the farm. Or if you have your own car, you can also reach the farm within 25-30 minute drive.
You can stay there for an overnight since they have both tents and small huts you can rent. They have karaoke, bonfire, and a swimming pool. Other than the view of the seemingly endless mountains, one of the things that guests anticipate is the sunrise. Around 5am, you can already see the sea of clouds and, I swear, it is a wonderful sight.
If you want to see more, you can visit their page, Iyaman Farm.
Iyaman Farm
So Friday night, around 7 pm, we hiked up a mountain for approximately 45 minutes to reach the Iyaman Farm located at Bauko, Mountain Province. The hike was a real challenge since you have to go up in order to reach the farm. But upon reaching our destination, the tiredness seemed to have gone away upon seeing the tents and little huts where guests could stay in.
We did karaoke and had the farm all to ourselves since we were the only ones having an overnight that time. What was also amazing in this place is the sunrise. At around 5 am, we were all anticipating the sea of clouds and it was not disappointing. It was worth waiting for that sunrise. The pool there also gave a better experience for every guests as well as the hospitality of the caretakers.
Ps: “Iyaman” is actually somewhat similar to saying thank you or showing gratitude.
Korean Buffet
Been craving for samgyupsal this morning so we decided to go to one of the nearest Korean buffet here at our place. I love the restaurant because they serve a variety of Korean foods and this time, I went with my sisters. I especially love the cucumber kimchi and the gimbap. My sister loved the marinated beef and pork since they were more tender compared to the not marinated ones. The younger one, however, does not really like the squid(I do not know why, tho. But I like them.)
It's located at Assumption Road, Baguio City. You can go here if you wish to eat some samgyupsal. They have varied side dishes.
Back to the Province
What else is the best way to take a break from the crowd and busy streets of the city? For me, it would be going back home to the province where all you can see around you is nothing but nature.
The green mountains, the lush trees, the sound of the running river, and of course, the sight of the fields. This time of the year, we plow our fields and plant new sets of grain plantation.
And just like always, it rains almost every day, if not in the morning then on the afternoon. Even if it is the dry season, rain still comes quite often so when it is the wet season, it does rain every day. No wonder our place is called the “home of the rain.” It's a peaceful and therapeutic place so I do not complain that much even if there is not internet connection there.
Easter Sunday
Didn't expect that today would be quite gloomy because of the weather and we even overslept, thinking that it was still early in the morning. The sun was barely out because of the dark clouds and indeed, it rained in the afternoon and we even forgot to bring our umbrellas. But still, the weather somehow made us enjoy today's snacks—milktea with carbonara, fish fillet, and crisps. Of course, the cafe is still Tea Castle since my sister loved that place as well.
And since Easter Day is still part of Holy Week, my sister had to set aside the meat mixed in her carbonara, lol. The cafe actually had a promo, an eat-all-you can one. It seemed fun but we didn't avail it since we aren't that hungry and we were kind of in a hurry since the public market starts to close at 5 pm. We still needed to buy some veggies for this week's consumption.
Food Trend
Milktea, frappe, and fruit tea are the current food trend here in Baguio City. They come in different flavors like taro, wintermelon, strawberry, hazelnut, and a lot more. They also come in different sizes; king(large), queen(medium), and prince(small) which is based on the theme of Tea Castle. You can also choose how much percentage of sugar you want to add in your drink. Several cafes opened up offering these ones in their menu and whether it is the weekend or the weekday, they're very much bought.
One of my favorite cafès to go to would be Tea Castle. Not only do they serve the above mentioned drinks but there are also other available foods in the menu like fries, pasta, burgers, sandwiches, nuggets, and the like. It can also be the combination of any of them and their prices range from Php 120-200 or $2.30-$3.83.
It's located on the second floor of the building so it is peaceful in there and you would enjoy some privacy. So you can also bring not only your friends and family here but also your date. Kids would also like it since they can take pictures with several crowns available there for picture-taking. My cousins, aged 5 and 6, like to be there especially during special occasions like Halloween, Valentine's Day, and Panagbenga Festival since they decorate the place in accordance to them. (Panagbenga is the sunflower festival celebrated in Baguio City.)
I took the picture when I was almost done eating my order so it only showed one sandwich, lol.
Lowkey EXO-L
I started stanning EXO when I was in 8th grade so I came to know them when they were still 12 members. Being with them all throughout my junior high school has been a rollercoaster, to be honest.
Watching their MVs and their variety shows were one therapeutic way for me to recover from distress. They became a part of my high school life that crushing over a guy became nothing but a distraction, lol.
My first bias was Luhan because upon seeing him, the first thought that crossed my mind was “Wow, an angel!” When I came to know them more, I switched to our Galaxy. There was just something about him that amazes me... one of which he could be funny even though he doesn't try to.
It may trigger some negative emotions but it was painful to see my biases leave the group. I remember crying my heart out on my bed when little by little, our EXO-M are returning to the galaxy where they came from. And just lately, our healing unicorn also bid his farewell and it was heartbreaking.
But at the same time, I feel happy for them because seeing how they grow and smile and laugh in their home galaxy is an assurance that they are still genuinely happy there.
It's hard to admit it but EXO's journey did not only show a path full of roses but it gave me thorns that are still stuck in my chest. Maybe that is the main reason why I do not seek to be updated about them often like I did in the past.
They were one of my hardest and most painful heartbreaks. Still, I wish nothing but great success to them and I salute all those EXO-Ls who stood firm and stayed with them all this time.
Paghikbi ng Ulan
Isang ngiti ang gumuhit sa aking mga labi nang makita kong muli ang puno ng sakura na malapit lang sa lawa. Ang mga naggagandahang bulaklak nito ay sumasayaw sa bawat pag-ihip ng hangin. Ang iba naman ay nahuhulog at nagbibigay ng pansamantalang kagandahan sa kanilang pagsayaw bago tuluyang bumagsak sa lupa.
Naupo ako sa lilim ng puno at tumingin sa tahimik na lawa.
"Hoy, anong ginagawa mo rito?" tanong mo sa akin noong unang beses tayong nagkita. Unang tingin ko palang sa iyo ay nasabi ko na sa sarili ko na 'Ah, isang mestiso' dahil sa mala-ginto mong buhok. Maputi ang iyong balat at agad akong naakit sa mga mata mong tila karagatan dahil sa asul na kulay nito. Nakatingin ka sa akin nang masama na para bang isa akong kriminal.
"Gusto ko lang makita ang mga bulaklak ng punong sakura, ikaw? Sino ka ba?" pabalik kong tanong. Ngunit biglang nagbago ang iyong ekspresyon at agad akong nginitian na siyang dahilan upang ngumiti rin ako. Sinenyasan mo ako upang maupo sa tabi mo kaya naman iyon ang ginawa ko.
"Tinanong mo kung sino ako, 'di ba?" ani nito, "Ako lang naman ang nagtanim sa punong ito."
Seryoso ang tono mo pero nang tumingin ka sa akin, napatawa ako kaya naman sumimangot ka.
"Alam mo bang halos 300 na ang taon ng punong ito?" saad ko nang kumalma ako. "Kung gagawa ka sana ng kwento, sana naman ay iyong kapani-paniwala."
Bigla naman akong napatingin sa langit nang biglang natakpan ang araw kahit kani-kanina lang ay walang ulap akong nakita.
"Alam mo, ayaw ko sa mga taong hindi naniniwala sa akin," sabi mo pero imbes na sumbatan ka, agad akong tumayo. Hinawakan ko ang iyong kamay na mas malaki sa akin saka kita hinila ngunit hinila mo ako pabalik na siyang dahilan upang mapaupo ulit ako.
"Alis na muna tayo rito," sambit ko, "mukhang uulan kasi."
Ngunit umiling ka at ngumisi.
"Hindi uulan, maniwala ka."
Nagtaka naman ako dahil parang totoo ang sinasabi mo.
"Paano mo naman nasabi iyon? Manghuhula ka ba?" tanong ko at isa muling iling ang iyong ginawa habang nakangiti.
Sa muling pagkawala ng mga ulap sa langit ay aking kinagulat dahil parang imposibleng mangyari iyon sa loob lang ng iilang segundo.
"Hindi uulan kapag hindi ako iiyak," sagot mo.
Muli akong natawa at sinabing, "Tapos sasabihin mo na ikaw ay isang nilalang na naiiba sa tao. Tapos tatawagin mo ang sarili mo na 'Regan'."
Nanlaki ang mga mata mo nang sabihin ko iyon at iyong tinanong, "Paano mo nalaman iyan?"
Tumingala ako sa langit bago ka sinagot.
"Nabasa ko kasi ang ilang sulat na nakatago sa aming bahay na tuwing namumulaklak ang punong ito ay may lalaking magpapakita at magpapakilalang Regan. Lagi akong pumupunta rito kapag panahon na ng pamumulaklak ng mga sakura upang tingnan kung totoo ba iyon."
Binaling ko ang tingin ko sa iyo at nagulat na lang ako nang makita ang namumuong luha sa iyong naggagandahang mga mata. At sa pagbagsak ng mga luha mo'y kasabay din ng pagbagsak ng ulan.
Pero imbes na sumilong mula sa ulan ay nakatitig pa rin ako sa iyo. Kita ko ang lungkot sa iyong mga mata na siyang dahilan upang yakapin kita.
"Masaya ako," sambit mo, "masaya akong muli kang makita. Sobrang saya ko, sobra-sobra."
Nalito ako dahil ngayon lang naman tayo nagkita ngunit iba ang iyong sinasabi. Hinigpitan mo ang iyong yakap sa akin na para bang kay tagal tayong magkakilala at hindi nagkita.
"Naiba man ang iyong itsura ngunit ikaw pa rin ang babaeng mahal ko," dagdag mo pa, "Patawarin mo ako kung hindi ko magawang manatili sa iyong tabi."
Ilang taon na ang lumipas matapos ang pangyayaring iyon at hanggang ngayon ay dala-dala ko ang mga alaalang iniwan mo sa akin. Napansin ko ang unti-unting pagpatak ng ulan at katulad noon ay nanatili ako sa lilim ng puno. Sa tuwing umuulan, lagi kong tinatanong kung umiiyak ka ba? At bakit ka umiiyak?
Tinatanong ko rin kung masama ba ang magmahal? Bakit pinagkait sa atin ng tadhana ang pagkakataong maging masaya sa piling ng isa't isa?
Pero isa kang anak ng diyos at diyosa at isa lamang akong hamak na tao. At dahil sa pagmamahalan natin sa nakaraang buhay natin, tayo ay pinarusahan ng iyong mga magulang na tutol sa ating pagsasama.
Sa loob ng 100 taon, isang beses lang tayo magkikita bilang kaparusahan. At sa buhay ko ngayon ay hindi na kita muling masisilayan. Makakalimutan man ulit kita ngunit ang mga sulat na naglalaman ng ating alaala ay siyang magiging susi upang malaman ko ulit na mayroong Regan sa mundong ito. Masakit man ngunit ito ang daang pinili nating tahakin.
Sa pagbagsak ng ulan ay tumingin ako sa langit na para bang naroroon ka.
"Regan, tahan na."
(Ang Regan ay Old High German ng salitang ulan.)
Deep Talks
I thought it's going to be a sunny day today but the rain came rather earlier compared to the past few days. And not to mention, mornings became colder that it was hard to get up early. Nevertheless, it is no reason to cancel my plan for today and just lie on my bed all day long.
Since yesterday was our last day for the second semester, today is just the perfect day to celebrate even though the weather is not cooperating that well. After another semester full of online classes both in the morning and afternoon, I think we all deserve to have this short break. Plus, it's also the time to celebrate the day of my sister's birth since we did not get to celebrate it last April 6 because of school activities.
What I really like about this little get-together of ours is that we get to openly share how we feel and what we think, making it a circle of comfort for us since there are no judgmental comments. We also got to reminisce the past and talk about how we grew up and how time flies quite rather fast. And what really makes us feel nostalgic was how things changed a lot now. We would also often talk about the future as well, thinking what would happen if we finish college and we get to apply for a job.
It's in the distant future and, for sure, a lot of things would happen whether we expected it or not but we hold common sentiments—the real world is quite scary for us, especially when you do not get a job. But then again, even if we do not say it out loud, I know we would still be by each other's side.
Anyway, the rain has not stopped yet so I guess it'll just be another rainy night as well.
Celebrate Little Achievements
I am finally done with my exams today and finally, I can focus on writing my novels and reviewing the manuscripts of my writers. Finishing this semester has been quite a challenge especially that it was held in pure online classes.
But now that I have finished it, those challenges were something I can learn from in order to face another challenge. And not to mention, on our next term, it will be already face to face classes so I have mixed emotions... excitement and nervousness.
Nevertheless, let us still raise our glasses and toast for our achievements, may it be little or not! There may be quite a lot of things we have yet to face in the future but let's make use of our little breaks to reset ourselves, both mind and body, so we can get into the right condition and fight against all odds.
That dream of yours is waiting for you at the end of the line so keep moving forward!
Little Steps Matter
Ever since I first read Rick Riordan's Mark of Athena novel, I fell in love with his books and his writing. The adventures, the actions, the new world, the humor, and the romance are perfectly seasoned in his works that is why he became one of my inspirations to also write my own book.
Since I have yet a lot to learn in the writing industry, I am taking small steps at a time to learn how things work and improve my skills in novel writing. So far, I have quite achieved a lot last year by having some of my short stories be published physically by one of our local publishers. I have had some of my novels contracted in paid writing platforms and it somehow changed the course of my life.
As a student, earning my own money through my hard work is something I truly celebrate. Currently, I am trying to build a fanbase, hoping that it would happen so I can also have my novels published physically.
Little steps matter because it is still progress. So let's go chase our dreams!
Connect With Nature
One of the best and most effective way to relieve one's stress is definitely connecting with nature. Being surrounded by trees, and hear the chirping of the birds could make one forget about the hustle and bustle of life. It may not be permanent but, at least, in that temporary moment, your mind and body get to recover.
One of the places I went that I consider to be memorable is at the Mountain of Kalugong located in Baguio City, Philippines. You'll get a good view of the tall pine trees here, sit by the rock formations where you can overlook La Trinidad, Benguet, and feel the peace of nature. If you are quite lucky, you can also experience its foggy morning or foggy afternoon while enjoying your hot coffee in one of the cafeterias there.
Reaching this place is not that hard since either you can bring your car/bicycle, or commute via cab/taxi, or you also have the option to walk. If you go by car/bicycle, you would have to drive on a steep one-way road but once you reach the end of it, you would only need to walk up the trail for less than 5 minutes and you'll find yourself on the entrance.
So if you wish to travel to the Philippines, I suggest that you should have some time to drop by in Baguio. You won't just be enjoying several nature adventures but you could also go and visit the Strawberry Farm and pick some strawberries yourself. You can also visit several sites that shows off the culture of the Cordillerans. It won't be a waste of time and money, that is for sure.
Stepping Out from Your Comfort Zone
I have always been an introvert and interacting with new people has been one of the things that is hard for me to do. Even small talks scares me because I do not know how to drag the conversation forward. I would not dare initiate a conversation unless it is really necessary.
Thus, one of the things I feared the most ever since I was young was the thought of having to step out from my comfort zone most especially when I finish my degree and have to work.
That is why while I am still in college, I started practicing and training myself to engage with other people even though at the end of the day, it would surely drain my energy. The thought of preparing myself for the future by stepping out from my comfort zone even if I have to do it bit by bit is one of the drives that pushes me to improve myself in terms of social skills.
One thing I did is to apply as an acquisition editor in the writing platform Goodnovel. As an acquisition editor, I have to speak with lots of writers to explain matters to them and guide them to become contracted writers in our platform. I did get to interact with tons of writers and surprisingly, I am doing a rather great job. But it is probably because we interact through emails and chats that is why I still consider it as part of my comfort zone since we do not have to meet in person.
However, when two of my writers suggested that we should meet each other in person since we are in the same city, I was hesitant at first to meet-up with them. This is the introvert me kicking in so I keep having thoughts of wanting to make up some excuse in order for me to not go in that meeting place.
“How will you improve?”
That question crossed my mind and it really bothered me because one of the reasons why I decided to join to become an acquisition editor was to help myself take a few steps away from my comfort zone. Thus, I took a few deep breaths and prepared myself to meet up with two people I just met online.
And attending that meet-up was something I did not regret at all. I was able to converse with them comfortable despite the fact that they were older than I was. It made me think like “Oh, should I consider this as an improvement? Maybe I should.”
So my point is... stepping out from your comfort zone is not just about having to interact with other people or it is not about trying to meet their expectations. But rather, it is also for yourself. It is part of growing up and part of self-improving. Having internal drives to do something is much more powerful to make you act rather than external ones.
So, even if you have to do it at a slow pace, go on and step out of your comfort zone if you think it would be something that will help you in the future.
Start Working On It
Start Working On it
I started my writing journey way back in 7th grade and truth be told, I started it because I thought that it would be fun. Well, it was fun especially when you go to school, and then, your classmates even those students from other sections would come running towards you and say, “Hey, may I borrow one of your notebooks? I bet you managed to write another story.”
It was an experience I never thought would happen and yeah, I first wrote in notebooks because back then, I didn't own an android phone or even a smart phone. All I have is that Nokia keypad so I wrote using pen and paper. Though I came to a sudden stop when I got into 9th grade because academic activities were more fun with all the ballroom dance practices, stage plays, and speech choirs.
I actually have received offers from writing platforms back in senior high school to write for them and thinking about it now, I really did miss such great opportunities to write original novels again back then. My ignorance of the vast world the internet could offer and my lack of interest in doing something I know I can do actually made me lose the opportunity to earn my own money at a young age. I kind of regret that but I also do not sometimes because I knew that I enjoyed my senior years.
And now that I am in college, I decided to grab that opportunity again and here I am now, earning through writing novels. Though, I am still an amateur in this field, I know that I am growing and learning little by little. That's still progress.
So here is the thing... if opportunities come your way, do not be afraid to try and work for it because you don't know, it might work better than you expected. If you know you have the capabilities to do it, then, start working on it now because one of the things that is hard to carry is the feeling of regret. There are vast opportunities out there and not all of them may be for you, but surely, there are several ones that are meant to be opened and experienced by you.
Writing
Writing
For years, I have been writing for the sake of the fun of it. Reading the comments of my readers and seeing the number of reads increase day by day somehow became a stress reliever for me. Interacting with them was another great experience since readers have a lot to share as well.
When I came to know about paid writing platforms, I thought maybe I should give it a try to make a little bit of change in my boring life. Well, it did make a huge change that I did not even expect to happen.
I do love the perks of it since I was able to practice my socializing skills and improve on my writing skills. But maybe I have gone a bit too far that I see writing today as more of a responsibility rather than a stress reliever. It now comes to a point that it became the source of my stress lately because I have to write 2,500 words daily to keep up with the daily updates. I know I have the choice of not doing it every day but it would be a waste to just ditch the chance I have in earning money. Besides, I really need it to buy a new tablet I can use for school purposes since the laptop I currently have has a damaged charger.
The only thing that keeps me going to finish my current novel is the thought of finishing it this month, and then, I will be free. Though, I cannot deny the fact that it will be another hell since I also have to focus on reviewing for my final exams.
The word count is one but the genre is another. I love writing low fantasy, and royal romance but it is not the one readers are looking for in the platforms I have published my stories on. CEO/billionaire, werewolves, and mafia romance are the trending genre so to increase the marketability of my story, I had to write under those genre even though I knew I would not be able to fully enjoy writing it. But I guess this is one of the things that I should compromise in order to gain readers.
So for today's entry, my takeaway would be taking risks and sacrifices for the sake of getting the reward. What they said is true... not all things can be achieved that easily. You have to work for it.
Staged
“Lily, your mom is by the gate!”
Nodding at my classmate, I headed to the school gate and saw mom waving at me. My forehead creased when I saw her hand covered in a bandage but I did not say anything.
“Lily, it's been months since you left home. Let's go home together now, okay?” she stated with an endearing tone of voice.
When she held my shoulders, I slapped her hands away and took a few steps back.
“No, I am not going back to that house! Mom, why can't you just divorce dad, huh? If you can't, then let him abuse you more. But me? I'll never condone his actions!”
“Lily, your dad—”
“No! I do not want to hear anything from you or from him! Just tell him to go away and never return.”
I turned my back on her and strutted back inside the campus even though I could hear her calling out my name.
I didn't know if that house where I grew up even deserved to be called a home. I thought everything would be okay as long as we abide by the rules of my dad but I was wrong. No matter how obedient we were, he still wanted something more just to feel superior. I'd never go back to that house with dad in there.
So for a few months, I stayed with my friend in her apartment. I never contacted anyone at home and never answered their calls either.
“Lily!”
I turned on my heels when I heard my younger sister, Bailey, called out my name. I walked up to her wearing an uninterested expression.
“What now?” I asked.
“Dad,” she muttered with her head hanging low and her voice softer than usual.
“Bailey, you know I do not like to talk about dad–”
“He is in the hospital.”
I rolled my eyes to the side and scoffed.
“He wanted to see you,” she added.
“Well, I do not—”
“Stop acting like a brat already!” she yelled after slapping me across the face.
I was flabbergasted. I never expected her to be so bold and do such a thing. Out of shock, I simply held my cheek and met Bailey's gaze.
“He is gone, Lily,” she cried.
Those four measly words were enough to make my head spin with several questions. I could see Bailey's anger in her eyes but before I could say anything, she pushed me by the shoulder.
“This is all your fault! If only you listened to him, he...” Bailey shut her eyes and stopped pushing me. “He could have not committed suicide.”
Suicide?
I didn't understand what was going on because it never occurred to me that dad could do such a thing. I could not even say a word because it felt like there was a huge lump in my throat.
Bailey grabbed my hand and we started to run. I didn't know where she was taking me but I just ran along with her with my mind still clouded with confusion. This situation just felt off.
When I came back to my senses, I realized that we were in the hospital. Bailey and I were quiet as we walked up the stairs but the silence was broken when she finally spoke.
“Dad... he blamed himself... he blamed himself why our family was falling apart. He probably thought that we would be happy again if he is gone.”
That last statement hit me like a stray arrow. It was painful that I could feel my chest tightening. He may not be the greatest father but still, he was the one who watched over us.
“And you know what he said the other day?”
I never dared ask. I was too chickened out to know his last words. He probably hated me for leaving home... for being a disobedient daughter.
“He said he wanted to see you again despite the fact that you went against his rules. He always favored you but it seemed like you never treasured it,” she said and with every word she spat, it seemed like she was spitting venom right at me.
I wanted to negate Bailey's words because that was never the case. If dad favored me, he could have stopped being the bad guy when I begged him to. Yet he still raised his hand on mom and would not even say sorry.
When we entered the ward, I saw mom sitting beside the hospital bed covered with a white cloth. She was staring into space with her bloodshot eyes as if she was not herself.
Approaching the bed, I knelt on both knees and held dad's hand.
“Dad... I'm so sorry for being such a brat. I'm sorry.”
All I could do was say those words but there was a part of me saying that no matter how much I apologized, he won't be coming back to life. Bailey... she might not be able to forgive me for this.
I felt mom's hand caressing my head and it made me sob even more. Holding her hand, I turned towards her and begged for forgiveness. If I had gone home with her when she came to the campus, this could have not happened. Dad might still be alive this moment if only I returned home that day.
“Don't worry, darling,” mom whispered in my ear. “Your dad is already gone so come home already.”
I felt every hair in my body stood at their ends when mom slightly giggled after she said her last statement.
I pushed her a bit and looked into her glimmering eyes.
“Mom, what do you mean?”
She pulled me into a hug and whispered, “Hush, darling. Mom already got rid of your fears so come home to me.”
It was hard to swallow that moment because not only mom was acting weird but Bailey as well. She was staring at me as the edge of her lips curved into a smile.
A Promise Kept
Rushing out of the school campus, Rupert's usual smile was turned into a frown after what happened back in the theater. Behind him was a girl of the same age as he was, trailing every step he made.
“Olivia, why the hell did you do that?” he asked with his eyes glaring at her.
”Because they are obviously trying to sabotage the prom tonight.”
“But that does not mean you can scare them away to death!”
His sudden rage caught the attention of the other students, making them look at his way while wearing their confused looks. For sure, they thought of him as a crazy person but he simply brushed that thought away from his mind.
Rupert knew to himself that if he continued to speak, he will only spit harsh words so to stop himself from doing that, he turned his back on Olivia and headed back home.
For two months, he had been dealing with her whimsical feats and no matter how many times he lectured her, she just wouldn't listen to anything he says. And back at the theater when Olivia scared the shit out of his circle of friends that one of them even fainted, Rupert just had enough of it.
Back at their house, Rupert was preparing for the prom night and on the couch inside his room, Olivia sat there sulking with her arms crossed across her chest. After getting scolded a while back, she never spoke to him or even spared him a glance.
Rupert wanted that night to be just perfect for her and in order for that to happen, he had to make her feel better.
He walked towards her and sat on the table so he could face her. Because she was so dear to him, he could not just leave her alone when he knew that she was not in a good mood.
“I'm sorry for raising my voice at you.”
“You should be.”
“Come on, you can't be attending the prom night looking like the old evil queen,” Rupert jested as he pinched her nose.
He stood from his seat and offered his hand to her. Olivia looked up to him with a smile and held his hand.
“You gotta practice dancing first before the prom because it'll embarrass me if my partner cannot dance.”
Olivia immediately punched him on the gut and giggled when her brother bent forward while groaning in pain. She did not know how to dance but she also did not like to be reminded about it, especially when it was coming from her annoying brother.
As they practiced their dance, Olivia could not wipe away the wide smile on her lips because she had been waiting for this time to happen. Since her brother was already close to finishing college, she wanted to be his first dance before their prom night. It was for the reason that after college, he would surely be marrying his girlfriend and have a family of his own.
Just then, their mother called out from downstairs.
“Rupert, the time! You gotta get going and fetch your girlfriend!”
“I'm almost done!”
Olivia stepped back with a satisfied smile.
“Mother is right, you have to get changed quickly.” She pointed at him and narrowed her sight. “Don't make her wait and treat her well.”
As she left the room, Rupert asked her if she needed something else but all she replied to him was, “You kept your promise so I'm good!”
Rupert immediately got dressed and headed downstairs.
“Olivia, let's go! I don't wanna be late!”
Just then, he saw his mother staring at him with a sad look while holding a blue and white porcelain urn.
“I miss her, too.” Those were the only words that his mother uttered.
A Call Unanswered
"How do I look?"
You asked me as you turned on your heels to face me with the edges of your lips curved upwards.
I wasn't able to reply immediately since your unbuttoned polo caught my attention. The first button was left open so I stepped forward, buttoned it up and fixed your collar to make it look neat.
After a week of break, you were once again leaving for work.
"You look like the coolest doctor ever," I replied with a giggle.
You flicked my forehead and smiled at me.
"I am the coolest doctor," you emphasized.
As we walked downstairs, you wrapped your arm around my shoulder protectively. I heard you sigh and I was uncertain if it was out of sadness or exhaustion. I wanted to ask but maybe I was overthinking so I brushed it off. Upon reaching the door, you faced me and interlaced your hands with mine. You leaned your forehead on mine and looked at me straight in the eyes.
Your hazelnut-colored eyes still captivated me until this very moment and you knew that. You smiled at me and closed your eyes, savoring the moment between us. You were always so sweet to me even after years of marriage.
"I'm sorry for leaving you here alone again. But I promise to return so we could celebrate the day of our marriage," you apologized.
I shook my head and gazed at your dazzling eyes as I tightened my grip on your hands. I didn't want you to apologize at all because I knew you love your work as much as you loved me. Besides, you being on a day off was a celebration itself.
"Do not worry about me, I can manage myself. Do your work and come back home, okay?"
I cupped your cheeks and felt your warmth. I ran my fingers through your hair and you giggled at that because you knew that it was one of the things I liked doing the most.
You responded with a nod before slowly leaning towards me-closing the gap in between us-for a kiss. Your kisses were always gentle and warm that the butterflies in my stomach flutter around.
"Be careful," I whispered.
When I looked down on the ground because I was unable to look into your eyes, you cupped my cheeks with your large hands and kissed my forehead.
"I'll just be one call away." You hugged me tight as if trying to convince me that everything will be alright and that this day, as you leave for work, will just be like the ordinary days that passed before.
Okay, we nuzzled at each other for too long. I was being kind of selfish right now.
To no longer delay you, I opened the car door and smiled. I wanted you to leave without having to worry about me a lot. I wanted you to go to work and devote your time to those people who needed your service and presence more than I do.
With one last quick kiss, you entered the car and started the engine.
I waved goodbye as I watched you disappear on the road before going back inside our house.
Closing the door behind me, I immediately ran to the comfort room holding something on my hand. If my speculation was right, it'd be a real blast of news for me, and most especially for you. If it's positive, it'll be one great celebration!
Stuck inside the house alone, I did some cleaning and washing to keep myself busy. My nerves were chaotic and restless out of excitement, hoping that you'd come home as soon as possible.
Being a doctor, you rarely come home so I was so happy when you got a week off your work. I was able to be with you for quite long after our marriage.
However, my excitement was slowly being devoured by anxiousness and fear when you weren't able to step inside our home after a month when I had sent you off to work. I knew you were busy and I had to deal with it since you are a man who needs to save other people's lives. All I could do was endure. But this time, something inside me was just unsettling, though I could not pinpoint what was really wrong.
Within the month of your absence, I only got to hear your voice once in every week. You were so happy to tell me that you and your team have saved lives, I could even imagine how you smile while you were telling me that.
One night when the clock struck seven in the evening, the television was on to at least liven up the quietness inside our home. I grabbed my phone. Usually at this time, you had some free time to at least answer my call even if it was just a span of one minute.
"Saving a life is more than a fortune," you said. You were always telling me that and it was something I wanted to pass on.
I dialed your number and had my eyes fixed on the television while waiting for you to answer. I wanted to tell you how much I missed you, how I wanted to hug and kiss you. And how I wished for you to be here so I could tell you a very pleasant news.
With my phone still ringing, the news caught my attention. It was about the sudden outbreak of a certain virus. I got up from my seat when there was a report of a certain doctor who just died because of the Covid-19 virus that had been plaguing the country for months now.
"Please, answer me," I begged. In my mind, I was asking for countless pleas that the doctor mentioned wasn't you. We were talking just fine the other week when I last called. You never mentioned about you being affected by that virus so I was hoping that my instinct this time was completely wrong.
"Please, answer the call."
I was already sobbing for it was now the fifth ring yet you were not picking up the call. I bit my nail to somehow calm myself.
My vision got blurry due to the tears welling up so I wasn't able to dial your number for the second time. But then, my phone rang, making my heart almost skipped a beat. With my eyes still focused on the television, I answered the call with a shaky hand.
Sparing no second, I immediately answered since I thought that it was you calling me back.
"Baby, I almost had a heart attack because you weren't answering. Are you busy right now? Should I call later instead? I am watching the news about that virus, are you doing okay, baby?"
But then, the relief that once showered me vanished. I came to a stop when I heard another man's voice on the other side of the line.
"Mrs. Gerardo," he said.
I knew that the caller was referring to me but I did not reply immediately. A lot of things were in my mind that I was like a computer that lagged for a few seconds.
"Y-Yes, Mrs. Gerardo speaking," I stuttered.
Though there was a chance that the man who called me back was your colleague, the thought of you not being able to take a step back into this house that was built just for us clouded my mind.
I shook my head.
No, no. I needed to stay positive. I needed to believe that everything shall be okay.
"I'm sorry but Doctor Gerardo just passed away."
Hearing that statement made my world deprived of sounds.
The image of us that I have pictured in mind slowly cracked like a mirror. The sound of shattering dreams start to overwhelm me as I called you again...and again...and again.
I held my belly and cried my heart out as an image of a child asking where his father is played repeatedly like a broken record. Such a scene broke my heart.
I dialed again, still hoping that what I heard was not true. I called you for the nth time.
But you never answered.
Novelstar/Nova: An Online Writing Platform
So this platform just changed its brand name from Novelstar to Nova and it is just effective this day, 1st of April. It is also the third platform I am currently writing for and so far, I did not encounter any problems... yet. I started with non-exclusive contract with them and now, I am writing a story under an exclusive contract for my second novel.
What I love in this one other than their benefits is they provide free book covers for authors. And I must say, they are great book covers and I am loving them.
They also offer exclusive contracts but unlike the other two I have talked about, this one has two types of exclusive contracts; the Class A and S-class. S-class has a base fee but Class A does not. They just recently changed their benefits this year and compared to the previous benefits, exclusive contracts have higher bonuses now while non-exclusive contracts somehow decreased but still, it is a generous amount.
Other than having two types of exclusive contracts, what makes Novelstar/Nova different from Novelcat and Goodnovel is that it only offers 20% royalty share for non-exclusive contracts. But I think it is not something to really worry about for quite long since non-exclusive contracts has a duration of only 5 years. Plus, you still have the copyright of your story.
Their mode of payment as well is Paypal, bank, and Payoneer. Though there are selected countries where they encourage writers from there to use only bank or only Paypal. But I think they are also working on that one so writers would have more options in getting their income.
They also offer a buyout program wherein if you have a completed novel, they can buy it and give you a one-time payment plus the corresponding royalty share. I don't know much about this because I think it depends on the quality of the story so the details are discussed by the writer and editor privately.
Consistent updating would give your book more chances of being promoted in their homepage and featured page. And for my exclusive story, it got featured for a week so it garnered readers rather fast.
Though the one that is quite draining on this one is the updating days since you have to update continuously without breaks in-between for 20 days. That is what my assistant editor told me so in order to get the bonus I am aiming for, I have to write almost 2.5k words per day or even more than that which really pushes me to my limits. But then again, being challenged like this also drives me to be productive every day.
As usual, books that excel in this platform are werewolf, mafia, and CEO/billionare romance. In my current novel, it is a mafia romance even though it is not the genre I am really into but since it is already my second mafia book, I might as well finish it like my first mafia novel. So if you also wish to get a higher chance of getting an exclusive contract, you should write romance with the characters having those aforementioned characters.
When it comes to free coins used in unlocking chapters, this platform gives more tasks for readers to accomplish to earn these free coins. Just by logging in 7 straight days, you can actually collect quite a lot.
@Emina_Daisuki
