It is morning. One of the cool autumn mornings. The Autumn Days Of My Life.
I have been sitting in the yard after a long time, sitting in a corner where the sun is shining. Not where I was sitting in the early summer mornings, that the sun seemed to be an enemy was moving towards me over time. I become friends with the sun in the fall. We are at peace with each other. The sun shines on my face from the left and softly on my skin.
I closed my eyelids. I see the orange color behind my eyelids, and I remember fading memories of my childhood. I do not remember that memory clearly. But I know I have experienced this feeling a lot, especially with my kind grandmother, when we were lying in the sun together, when my mother was going to work and my grandmother was coming to take care of me, we were lying in the sun and my grandmother was telling me stories and her childhood memories.
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In the mornings when I sit in the yard and drink tea beside my plants and with the beautiful sound of birds, I start my day with great energy and feeling, my plants and sound of birds meditate on me.
What a pleasant moment, I enjoy to see the sky, and the breeze that blows through my hair and the pleasant warmth that sits on my skin because of the sun.
A bird comes and sits on the wall, looking at me from there, then flies to the neighbor's window and sees their house. And a little later it flies in the sky.
Will I be a bird in my next life? But I wish I did not live here in the Middle East, even if I became a bird. I have to learn more languages, that if I become a bird, and I go to the other side of the world, I can understand what people say there!
Why I don't want to be an eagle? Go to the top of a mountain. Single but powerful. Or a parrot with colored wings in the jungles of Africa? Away from all people. Where now that I am still a human, I wish to see there.
Except for the crow. I do not like crows because they live long. I have no idea that birds get tired of life or not. But I would rather have a short life if I were a bird. This is a human that likes to live long. Maybe because of their dreams, their child, their parents, their love and their family, In fact, their dependencies. Humans are alive with their dependencies, I don't know that birds understand the concept of family like us or not.
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That's why I better be that bird, to wander among people and look at people's lives from this perspective. When a mother feeds her child. When a lover kisses his love. When a worker receives his salary at the end of the month. What beautiful pictures and what pleasant moments, which I think only birds can see.
Those people, who leave everything and go to the mountains and the desert, give up their belongings. In my opinion, these are integrated with nature and existence. What a good feeling.
But I can not. I'm still dying for my desires, my belongings and my preoccupations. One of the best moments of my life is still sitting in my yard. When I'm still human.
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I love autumn season, the sun was bright but the wind is cold. Anyway, I have dreamt about being a bird in my next life. But not in this kind of world that was full of cruelty.