One of the basic criteria for living on earth is having relationships with people. It is unavoidable, as no one is, or wants to be an island. Except in very rare medical or psychological cases.
In one way or the other, we are all company. Company of family, friends, and well-wishers. We want attention. We want to be loved and taken care of., We want to socialize and get along with so many people with personalities of different kinds.
Most especially, we all want to venture into a romantic relationship some time, someday. With someone we love, and love, someone we cherish and would cherish. For the rest of our lives.
I will lay more emphasis on a romantic relationship.
Yes! It is true we want to get emotionally attached positively to someone who feels the same way for us. I too would love to be in such shoes.
But the big question is., Why are you entering a relationship?
Are you venturing into a relationship because your circle of friends is into one or more already? Or you feel it's the right time.
The very reason I term this question a big one is because sometimes, so many people are cajoled to be in a relationship they originally didn't want to be. Sometimes, as a result of peer pressure, low self-esteem, environment, and others.
Some even endure a toxic relationship. And sometimes I keep asking myself why a lady or a guy would actually have to pass through or endure a toxic relationship when they could just put an end to it and save himself/herself from mental stress and emotional trauma.
I really don't know what your reasons may be for venturing into a romantic relationship., Or one that would eventually lead to the future.
But here is my advice for you. Whatever the reason is, don't ever take that decision based on someone else's idea, or ideology., Believes or traditions.
Enter a relationship because you don't just only feel it's right, you know it is the right time for you to do so.
Enter a relationship because you are bent on building and shaping your future with someone so dear to you.
Enter a relationship based on your own ideology and believes about it. It has a greater chance of working for you than the ideology of others. And lots more...
When that is settled, the next question you should ask yourself is these.
What do you seem to want from this relationship?
So many people have diverse reasons and things they want in a relationship. Some are just there for fun and pleasure. No goals, long-term or short-term. No commitments. Sometimes no real love between them.
To me, they are just camouflaging over what a relationship truly means, and they aren't ready to embark on a real one yet.
If you belong to the pleasure category., This isn't for you actually.
These questions are for serious-minded, and relationship goal-oriented people, that want to take their love life to the next positive step.
What do you want in a relationship?
Is it just the love and attention,
The money and time.
Or you want a person in whom you can be able to build your both lives together.
Think about it?
Having known what you want in a relationship., The next is...
What can you give in a relationship??
Very raw right? Worry not., It's worthwhile.
Inasmuch as you are willing to "want" something from s relationship, Your relationship. Am pretty sure the response falls to the shoulders of your partner to provide all you want, just the way you want them I guess.
Have you ever considered the fact that they would also need something from you in return?
Ohh, you weren't so clear about this one right?
Well, the relationship isn't a parasitic reaction, where only one person gets to benefit, while the other toils daily to quench the hunger of the other and satisfy their insatiable desires.
Relationships are more like a symbiotic reaction. "You bring, I bring". Both parties have roles to play.
Now that you have stated what you want in a relationship., What can you give in return?
* Are you a guy that can only offer money and sexual satisfaction., One of the two or both.
Note, these so may be very important to almost everyone., But if sexual satisfaction and money is what you can only offer to your woman., I put it to you that you aren't near "Good Enough" for an ideal relationship. Forget the way the world is going.
* As a guy, outside the shores of your home, can you be a person of value to your woman?
✓Are you capable enough to support her dreams?
✓Are you knowledgeable enough, about some things you should know? Things in terms of business, career-wise, academics, spiritually, then financially, and others. In a case where all but finances and sex are missing in a relationship., Forget it, you both are so close to destruction than drowning ship.
Don't just be a value-added man in the bedroom alone. Outside, to the public., How well enough do you support your woman?
As a lady, aside from cooking and sexual satisfaction too., What else can you offer?
_Are you, someone, your man can talk to at any point in time and feel relieved, without fear of the news getting to his kingsmen before midnight.
__Are you a value-added woman. Are you "Helper Enough" for him, or its just his money you are after.
__How financially stable are you?
A very important question for the ladies. Can you fend for yourself without a man paying your bills? If yes, then you certainly would be of enough value for any man that comes your way, because the money wouldn't drive you this time.
Get a skill, get a job if possible. Earn something for yourself. Earn some respect. Truth be told, guys love enterprising and intelligent ladies to hook-up babes.
When he sees you struggling to make up your finances to a
9figure, he would take you more seriously, because you have a goal and you are perfectly doing fine without him. So you are indirectly leaving him with the option to stay if you are serious about a relationship or not. An unserious man wouldn't even have the guts to approach you, because you are certainly not his class. And that's because you decided to earn a living for yourself.
When all these have been taken care of.,
The next is,
where is the relationship headed?
Marriage or no!
Always know what your partner has to say about this., Especially the ladies.
Don't let anyone fool you into marriage in the name of love, only to dump you in due cause and marry another.
Talk to them about their view about where your relationship is headed.
Get to know what they have to say about it. Get to know their opinion., So you know where you stand, and not get heartbroken in the process.
Marriage or not., Is it something you can cope with?
If yes, superb!
If not, don't be shy to walk away., Don't displease yourself to please someone who doesn't take you as a priority.
Prioritize yourself first. You need YOU to thrive more in life.
Are you both compatible?
Don't just date anyone because of cuteness, money, his social life, spiritual holdings, or so on. What are his dreams?
Does he have a vision?
What are her dreams?
Does it go in line with yours?
Is he/she willing to help and support you?
If yes., Congratulations, you have got one of the best partners in the world.
If not, please back out. It's never too late. Don't have the "he/she will change as time goes on" mentality.
If he can't be good enough for you now, he can't and would never be good enough within the walls of marriage.
It's better to have a failed love attempt than a broken heart.
Hey readers, I thought of creating amazing content that would help us all, inclusive. So I taught of an article on relationships. And I'm sure you loved it and learned a thing or two from it.
Did this bless you?
I'm glad it did. Feel free to voice out your ideas in the comment section so we could learn too.
I've got a lot about relationships, loaded just for you. Please stay tuned.
Always lay hold on the keys that perfect your relationship., So you don't finish building one, and someone else would help you roof it.
Meanwhile., I wish you a productive relationship.
13 Oct 2021
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