For me, last year was a tough one. I was really struggling with my mental health and suffered from anxiety and depression. Looking at other stunning, successful women around me, I wondered: how are they doing this? How are they going to continue to feel so good?
I wanted to find out and I wanted to share it with other women who wanted to feel happy, like me who wanted to feel good. I set out to compile a resource that everybody might use, tapping into my creative energies. I asked the women I knew: what are your self-care mantras and habits?
What they told me was at the same time, both groundbreaking and a complete no-brainer. I know you will too, if I can practice them. Here are 13 self-love recipes that are simple in practice and are multifaceted in their advantages.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
To be competitive, we're socialized, so comparing ourselves to others is normal. But it can be hazardous. Just because there's only one you, there's no point in comparing yourself to anyone else on the planet. Reflect on yourself and your path instead. The energy change, by itself will make you feel free.
2. Don’t worry about others’ opinions
Do not care about what society thinks or expects of you, in the same way. You can't make everybody happy, but this is a waste of time and just slows you down on your journey to be the best you can do.
3. Allow yourself to make mistakes
From a young age, we're told over and over again, "No one's perfect, everyone makes mistakes." But the older you get the more pressure you feel to never fail. Cut the slack yourself! Make mistakes so that you can learn from them and improve. Have your past embraced. You continually change and evolve from who you once were to who you now are and who you will one day be.
So, forget the voice in your head that says that you have to be fine. Create errors, lots of them! The lessons that you will earn are invaluable.
4. Remember your value doesn’t lie in how your body looks
It's basic! This strong reality is what so many people in the world want to distract you from. And your own internalized misogyny often affirms your perceptions of inadequacy. You are important because, not because of your body, you are you.
So, wear what gives you a positive feeling. Wear what makes you feel secure, relaxed and happy whether it's a lot or if it's a little.
5. Don’t be afraid to let go of toxic people
Not everyone is responsible for the resources they bring into the universe. If someone is bringing toxicity into your life and they're not going to take responsibility for it that may mean that you need to move away from them. To do this, don't be afraid. Even though it may be painful, it's liberating and essential.
Remember: safeguard your resources. Removing yourself from circumstances or the company of people who are draining you is not disrespectful or incorrect.
6. Process your fears
Feeling afraid, like erring, is normal and human. Don't reject your fears. Comprehend them. For your mental wellbeing, this balanced workout will also help. Interrogating and assessing your doubts allows you to gain insight and unmask concerns that have caused you distress in your life. That in turn will help relieve some of your anxiety, if not all.
7. Trust yourself to make good decisions for yourself
We also doubt ourselves and our ability to do what is right though in our hearts, we know what is best most of the time. Do not forget that your feelings are real. You don't lose track with truth. You know better than anyone else about yourself, so be your best advocate.
8. Take every opportunity life presents or create your own
The timing for the next major step in your life is never going to be ideal. The set-up may not be flawless, but it shouldn't deter you from achieving your goals and aspirations. Seize the moment instead, because it can never come back.
9. Put yourself first
Don't feel guilty for this being done. In particular women may grow accustomed to putting others first. While there is a time and a place for this, your mental or emotional well-being shouldn't be a habit that costs you.
Find time for you to decompress. You can place serious pressure on yourself without decompressing and recharging yourself. Find out what allows you to decompress and devote time to this, whether you spend the day in bed or outside in nature.
10. Feel pain and joy as fully as you can
Enable yourself to truly feel things. Lean into pain, revel in your joy, and place no limits on your emotions. Emotions that will help you understand yourself and eventually know that you are not your emotions, including terror, pain and joy.
11. Exercise boldness in public
Get yourself in the habit of speaking your mind. Boldness is like a muscle; the more you exercise it it develops. Do not wait until permission is granted to take a seat at the table. Enter the debate. Contribute your suggestions. Take action, and realize that your voice is as important as anyone else's voice.
12. See beauty in the simple things
Try to note every single day at least one amazing, little thing around you. Make it a note, and be thankful for it. Not only does appreciation give you perspective, it's important to help you find joy.
13. Be kind to yourself
The world is filled with harsh words and criticism. Do not add yours to the mix. Talk to yourself kindly, and don't call yourself bad things. Just celebrate yourself. So far you've come and learned so much. Do not forget to celebrate yourself, not just on your birthday!
Woman power