Marriage

Let's talk about LOVE!

In marriage, 76%of them will stay together. Meaning that 1 in every 4 will end in divorce. It is because, we as humans are inherently BAD AT LOVE?

There are so many reasons why couples break up. But let's focus on one particularly important.

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FLAWS

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Each and everyone of us, in one way or another, has flaws.

🔸Some of us been scared from childhood.

🔸Some of us have a collection of unfortunate psychological traits like :anxiety, depression, or OCD.

🔸Some of us have destructive tendencies or bad habits.

We're careless, jealous, hot headed, vain or socially awkward. Not everybody has flaws extensive as these. But they all lie somewhere along the spectrum and at the end of the day, being someone's partner means exposing them extensively to your negative traits.

In other words, we are bringing an immense amount of trouble, into somebody else's life by agreeing to be their partner. In life, e tend to be shielded this unwelcome news, prior to a big relationship because of the way we brought up.

In our adolescent years, most of us are unaware of our flaws. Simply because nobody has pointed them out. Our parents loved us too much to tell us, our friends often don't critique our personalities and would rather unfriend us than tell us how we can become better and our ex's were too keen to escape from us than to offer us a detailed critique of our personalities.

And we're alone, we just don't notice how annoying we might well be in the eyes of others. Inevitably, a partner will call us out on our negative traits and it may feel like a personal attack. But in fact, they're just showing you a reflection of yourself. Everyone seen up close had an appalling amount wrong with their character, but it's not our fault!

it is just a HUMAN CONDITION

Although it is impossible for us to fully escape the flaws that were unwillingly placed upon us but we can do is asked ourselves, what might be slightly crazy, desperate, or underdeveloped in our own character after deep introspection, I realized that I can be way too jealous.

I hated girls who hug my boyfriend, I hate spending money and talking about my feelings is totally, utterly and indefinitely out of the questions.

Becoming aware of my own flaws has helped me understand how I can be difficult to live with. So now it's your turn to ask the question.

HOW CAN I BE DIFFICULT TO LIVE WITH?

This self critique isn't to make you feel guilty or ashamed. It's to give you a deeper understanding of your own personality and to give you an idea of how you can be difficult to live with. Understanding and dealing with your own flaws is just important as dealing with your partner and it's a necessary part of a healthy relationship. And once you acknowledge the existence of your own flaws only then can you understand and contemplate, how you can become a better partner.

So what I've learnt is that humans is not inherently bad at love. Humans are bad at providing an unbiased opinion about their own negative traits which leads to bad relationship. So if you're looking for a deep, meaningful and lasting relationship, start by understanding yourself because only by understanding your own flaws along with those of your partner, can you build a successful, loving and leading relationship.