Dear married folks,
What are you people doing exactly?? Marriage is not a two years or five years enjoyment galor and the rest is a disaster or management sail, I mean are we now studying management? And when the kids come you totally forget you have a partner! My friend who just got married a year ago said getting married may be the best worst thing he did and if not for his little 3 month old kid he may have just left his wife, he further stated that he loves her but the spark isn’t there no more. In African society where divorce is seen more or less as a sacrilege and then sadly women hardly know how to survive if they get divorced, I mean most are house wives with basically nothing doing so they hang around their “dead” marriages, with both sexes enduring unbearable situations and later we the kids begin to celebrate 35 years anniversary for them or should I say 35years adversary??
Listen married folks, So because you are married, you will now discard all your lovely outfits and bumshorts and then go and buy all them loose wrappers, saggy nickers, slag and worn out tops? and be forming mama Africa and you think your partner will still find you attractive? I Am not in support of cheating but why won’t he cheat? I mean those things attracted him too so why drop them now? C'mon, look attractive for your man. And men, because you are now married you will throw away your six packs and go and carry one big pack “pot belle” as if you are now competing with pregnant women, what is all these?? So in your mind she finds it fatherly ko?? And you feel she will not look at that young guy with six packs abi?? my annoyance is that you will dress like slaves at home and your spouse will forget how beautiful you are and when you want to go out you will now remember to wear all those sexy outfits and you wonder why people always compliment you except your spouse and you think it’s the devil that is doing you ko? Bring back common sense someone please!!
Ladies, you will spend 100k on nice hairs both Brazilian and versache and beautiful make up kits, wear them to work looking all tushed up for your friends and strangers to admire you but when you now get home to the man that probably bought these stuffs for you with his money ohh, you will now cover this 100K hair with one 100N dirty smelling hair net and wash off those pretty make up before the man of your dreams get the chance to admire you. Instead you will be walking around like one old zombie looking for who to save your marriage and you feel its now accept me the way I am because he is your husband, why not go the way you are to work? show some curves, look good, show off those nice hair to your husband?? You see its not the devil abi???
Ehe, dear mr husband material 1million, you remember when you were dating her abi? and you would buy all those fancy goodies for her, say nice things to her, call her my love, my baby, my assurance, my only transmission {just one oh}, you guys go on dinners, surprised dates, you even proposed to her on the moon, wetin happen brother in Christ?? What changed?? That she became your swore partner and wife? Now even new pant you will not buy, nice words you will not say, be calling her mama isinetugo or this woman that woman, is your brain paining you?? To take her out no, you will go out, get drunk and now come to bed and remember you have a doing machine, you see that you are mad abi???
The one that is paining me the most is this African mother’s hand and neck of a thing. So when you were still single and dating, girl you looked hot, you will do squatting friom morning till night, crunches, pushups, jogging to keep fit but now just look at you…. ehh fatty bumbo, run you cannot run, your tummy have big tire and its now falling covering the promise land that should be a priced place flowing with milk and honey! Your breast, lemme not even go there, your hand ehh, medics like myself cant even find a vein anymore talk more of to know if you still have a bone in there and later you will say he doesn’t fancy me?? Fancy ko, fancy ni.. will you keep quiet!!
This one ehh, we die here, I tire. So before people use to think that you don’t shit, infant your husband one day asked you if you use to mess, but now.. arhhh!! If you finish shitting government will declare state of emergency in your area and quarantine the whole place, you will mess in front of your spouse oh lord!! and you think its funny after eating beans for two straight days, it will now be smelling transmission transmitting agenda of pure wickedness, and you feel you will make heaven, my dear you are on your way to damnation!!
As a single you bath 10times a day to attract that one guy but now, even once a week is a miracle, based on what logistics?? Uncle husband aunty wife shave na, shave bikonu, your armpits, your pubis, your legs, abi are you breeding hairs too?? Your spouse don’t even want to kiss you again because you hardly brush, down there is now a sore sight!! Mpa wash your boxers, that your favourite boxers and women bra is not your wedding ring that you should be wearing only it everyday… look smart, look neat, wear clean undies, be creative, how can you come to bed all smelly and expect your partner to be romantic, no na!!
See, we are tired of celebrating failed marriages everyday, we know all these things, why don’t we change for good?? Why drop all the good stuffs that attracted the right person to you and adapt a marriage killing personality and then worse of all transfer such mentality to us, the children. Wear nice things so your kids will see and learn, be loving to your spouse in front of your kids and they will learn. Marriage is sweet oh, only if you want it to be…..
Yours sincerely,
Your children,
We know!!
#Shreds!!!
