Losing Brakes

"That was why I don't want to be happy because I know later on, I will be sad and hurt" 

I mentioned in one of my articles here about world balance. This is where you are happy right now but end up lonely or getting hurt at the end of the day. 

Maybe because I am afraid of everything that has happened and everything will happen.

Yesterday was my busiest day because my mother and step father came with his daughter also and my siblings, so I am happy because they really took their time to visit us, I did my best give them the best accomodation that I could, kasi ganun tayong mga pilipino. 

Early afternoon when they decided to go back home, it was just a quick visit actually because they said that they really missed Sophia, that quick moment made me happy, I never thought that those quick moments of happiness will end and turns into anger, pain and worried. 

It was 2 Pm when he left home, I mean my husband so I am not worried because I know that He only went to my cousin's and helped because that's what he only does when it comes to day off.

6 PM came and I went to my cousin's house to check on him because usually he go back home 5 PM, but no signs of him that was why I was a bit worried, I went back home and wait for him, I cooked and let my younger brother and Sophia eat, I had no appetite because I was worried. 

Until it came 1 oclock in the morning when I heard a laughter outside, so I decided to check and it was him with one companion, nagdilim ang paningin ko kasi lasing sya, some of the wives does not confronted their husbands while drunk but it's different for me, I was being emotional so I was  losing my  brakes when it comes to him because it was late, I can understand giving a time to himself but that long? 11 hours outside and I don't know where was he? sinong di mag aalala diba ?

While waiting for him, my imagination becomes very scary because of so many what if's that coming into my imagination, what if something bad happens to him? lately kasi marami ang napapabalitang namamatay na iniiwan na lang sa tabi kalsada. 

Because I lost my temper I confronted him at the instant in front of his companion. I know it's not right but I'm losing my brakes  because I was worried, I got angry because I was worried and emotional.

His companion ran away when I started to break some glasses on our table. It was a mistake because they said no matter how angry you are just don't break things because it brings bad luck to a family, but I forgot all about it because I was  losing brakes.

He only said sorry because he never let me know where was he going, which is true hindi naman ako magagalit kung nagpaalam sya, at alam ko kung saan siya nag pupunta, but i was losing my brakes that I was holding a knife and trying to stab myself. 

He was crying while holding my hands with a knife and slowly he put it away. 

He is a good husband to me and a good father to Sophia,He is a good cousin in law to my cousin's and a good son in-law to my parents. his only mistake was not being able to let us know where he was  going and went  home late while drunk, and my mistake was I confronted him drunk in front of his colleague and I never respected him,I know I shouldn't have done that.

But the good things that happened was,  after that we always reconcile, we never let the night passed with anger. 

Final Thought: 

Married life is not just about being happy with the one you love, we may encounter arguments, we sometimes hurt each other with words, others may be physical, and emotional. 

What I learned from that incident yesterday was having more patience and never losing my temper. I understand him having time with his friends and colleagues but because I was worried and I let my emotions comes first so I would lose my brakes which are not good all the time. 

At the end of the day, we said sorry to each other and talk about it in a good way, almost four years of marriage and I know this is not the end of the many arguments that we are facing but we both know sa susunod kung ano ang mas magandang gawin.

That would be all for today, thank you always for supporting me, to my Lovely Sponsors which you can see at the butom of my article and top of my account hehe, thank you so much for being there for me and staying in my block.

To my Viewers, subscribers, commenters, likers thank you so much.

This is me @Dawn_Dii , Sweet dreams everyone💚💚

Date Published: March 21, 2022