Cold Shoulder

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Today is Tuesday at exactly 1:44 Am, but I am still awake thinking a lot of things, once I was curious of some things I barely can't get sleep because I want to know the answer so that I can sleep so soundly but here I am thinking hard on what I did wrong why they'd make that cold treatment at me ?

While thinking I slowly read the articles in my notification one by one so that I can understand it, I am also amazed because there are really a lot of articles to read, some of them were published last week. 

Anyway, I know I should not rant here but I know I cannot sleep kung hindi ko man lang ito masasabi, but since I don't have one to talk to, at least I can share it to you guys para makatulog na rin haha.

There was something weird!

I was totally okay, no more pain from UTI and no more diarrhea, so I have a feeling that I should visit my cousins because one week past by that I couldn't even show my face to them because of the above reason. 

I don't know if they were aware that I came from a sick week, I never bother telling them anyway because I know what will they were saying in advance, like don't be OA, malayo sa bituka, maliit na sakit pinalalaki, so that's it. 

But one of my cousins knew because we chatted every now and then on messenger, the one that I shared in one of my articles here and celebrated her birthday last March 18. 

And because I miss them I decided to visit them which is only 10 km from our home. I was so excited of course because we can gather again, talking nonsense and a lot of things. 

My closest cousin asked if I was okay, and I just nod  at her, we talk random topics like how did I get my diarrhea and UTI and what meds did I take, she was curious and I can feel that she was really cared for me a lot. 

And then I saw my youngest cousin dressed up nicely so I asked where she was going but she was like just pointing using her lips on somewhere which I didn't know where, so I just smiled at her while nodding. 

My cousin in law also saw me and I asked again but no response and I was like " What was that ??" I Just ignored it thinking that maybe she did not hear me even though I was sure to myself that she did haha. 

I just sat on one of the benches there, they were just walking in front of me without asking if " Uyy nandito ka pala, kumusta ? " I expected it to be like that but no, so I started thinking about myself if what I did was to be treated like that.

They're totally giving me the cold shoulder that was why I decided to go home and nag mukmuk, while still thinking why ?.

Started to Doubt Myself

I am kind of a person who is good at listening. When someone asked me to listen to their stories then I can be available the whole day just to listen to whatever someone is saying, after that I gave my response and opinion. 

I also don't like arguments especially with friends, my family or even my neighbors, because it becomes awkward because you can see each other often. 

And because I am a good listener I can understand also if they could directly told me what was wrong, hindi ako manghuhula katulad ni Madam Auring para malaman kung ano ang nasa isip nila haha.

What's the Connect ? 

I started to doubt myself  baka kasi may nasabi akong mali na ikinagagalit nila? o baka may nasabi ako sa kapitbahay ko at sinabi sa kanila? haha. (Marites😅😅), I started to doubt myself because I know that I did not do something wrong, I was just lying in my bed the whole long week, but I don't know if what I really did. Ang gulo at sobrang nakakalito. 

Ways of not Thinking about it

I started to browse my Youtube App and search some christian songs and listen to it, and after that I also listen to some korean songs that captivates my heart and also english songs. I still can't sleep so I started to browse different movies.

Final Thought: 

The night ended and the light of the day started to spread outside but I am still fully awake. Should I ask Them? Arrrgg, I don't know .. when I did that they will get the wrong idea again, sasabihin na naman nila na ang OA ko haha.

I really Hate this kind of feeling 😩😩

Good morning read.cash Fam, early this morning and I am already babbling because my mind is ramblin, I hope you understand. 

That would be all for today 💚💚

This is me @Dawn_Dii , Have a good day ahead 💚💚

Date Published: March 29, 2022