Can you have water falling from the sky without rain? How can we have a school without students? Is there a possibility that you will quench thirst without drinking either water or another substance? Human life has been programmed to work following natural laws and order but the challenges we have is that we tend to forget that we have a part to play for all these things to work. Just as we see in the life of a mother and a baby, both must have to play a role for things to work between them otherwise there will be disturbing friction. When we wake up in the morning, we are expected to do the needful towards achieving all that we desire as humans. These things we must do are what I have classified as Sacrifice. Sacrifice has been in existence because it has been the bedrock of all we are and all we have become. Without sacrifice, human life would have been nothing other than a mirage or virtually nothing.
When can you say you have sacrificed?
A lot of people will always burst out at any little provocation by making statements like; “after all I did for you, you are an ungrateful being, are you blind to the things I have been doing in this relationship? what else do you want me to do?” these and many other statements will be coming out of their mouth as a means to prove to you that they have sacrificed a lot for you to treat them in the manner in which you are treating them. the truth is that sacrifice goes beyond what the human eyes can see or perceive because most times when an act of sacrifice is being done to us, we most times don’t see them rather we all get to know when the person has sacrificed makes it open by telling us. This will lead to discussing when one can say he/she has sacrificed. Most times we mix sacrifice and obligation and this makes us think that we have sacrificed when we are merely fulfilling our natural duties.
Let us look at this instance. A mother comes to tell people that she has been sacrificing for her child and yet the child has brought her nothing but sorrow. This scenario is a misconception of intent or should I say that it is a mix up between obligation and sacrifice. For us to understand this, let us look at the mother and her child concerning obligations and sacrifice.
A Mother
For one to become a mother, she must have undergone the process of childbirth either through the natural process, IVF, Surrogacy or through Adoption. When this is done, she is under a natural obligation to take care of this young one who did not force her to become a mother rather it was her personal decision to become a mother. What does this mean? It means that she will do everything within her reach to take care of this baby in every possible way without a grudge or feeling like she is pressured into doing so. These obligations that she must do includes:
· Feeding the baby.
· Clothing the baby.
· She must provide a roof over the head of the baby.
· She must make sure that the baby is secured at all times.
· Making sure that the baby acquires the necessary skills which will enable him to grow as a human being.
· Teaching the baby the law and order of his immediate environment and that of the wider community.
· She must love the baby without exception.
These things I have mentioned and the ones I did not mention all fall under a mother’s obligation. This means that she will not see it as sacrificing for the baby rather she will embrace it as her duties as a mother. This is the very problem we face in our world today because so many parents out there think or understand their responsibilities towards their children as a sacrifice instead of an obligation they owe to their children. This is why we have a lot of children who live out there without natural parental love and care.
Now the salient question one must ask is this; when does a mother sacrifice? If you have been reading this article with the desired concentration, you will understand that I have been making use of the word “baby or Child”. The reason is that a child or a baby does not have the power to cater for himself therefore when a baby is not yet above the legal age of fending for himself, the mother is under obligation to provide him with every necessary tool for his growth. Now, these obligations become sacrifice when the child has grown past the legal age of fending for himself and the mother is still doing all these things for him, it is at this point that the mother can say that she is sacrificing for him/her.
The child
When the baby is born, he is expected to depend solely on his parents at all times and no one looks up to him for any form of contribution because he is still very much tender. The child accepts and enjoys every love that is given to him at that moment but when the child gets to the age of fending for himself, he is no longer under any obligation to take care of his parents rather whatever he does at that moment is seen from the angle of sacrifice for the parents for their love and care for him while he was still a baby. Obligation and sacrifice, these two words must be approached with extreme carefulness when it comes to the relationship between the mother and her child.
Let us have a broader spectrum towards sacrifice and how we see it in our relationships as humans. Most times we find ourselves fighting over things like, how much we have sacrificed, what we have sacrificed and whom we have sacrificed for. This sometimes makes it very hard for a lot of people to enjoy a smooth relationship with others. The truth is that we must understand that sacrifice and the relationship we have with others must have a way of blending instead of us making it look like we are being mandated to sacrifice for each other. Remember that a true sacrifice comes out of free will and it must not be expectant i.e. you should not expect the person to whom you are sacrificing for the same measure of sacrifice because you did whatever you did out of free will. We must try as much as possible to understand that sacrifice and obligation must have a clear cut understanding in our lives and relationships with others.
I used the mother and the child to buttress the point I wanted to make in this article therefore I would not want you to see the article as only related to the mother and child rather see it from the angle of relationship with others.
What have you sacrificed?
I love you all.
For now, sacrificing my dreams for my parents is what I consider as my sacrifice. As a grown up child I have a choice and free will to deviate my parents plans for me. It's not an obligation for me to follow them but I am following them because I want to see them happy. Rather than being happy following my dreams but seeing them lonely behind me as I look back.