Her gait was so rhythmic that her skirt was swaying from left to right exposing her alluring body contour which makes it so hard for any man to resist. The brightness of her eyes charms the heart of anyone who dares to look. The straightness of her legs could make a man forget his name even when he is being called upon. Her name was heard in every whisper all around the community although to some it brought a hot rush of emotions while it meant regret due to their inability to get that which their hearts wanted. In fact, not spending time with her can cause a man a sleepless night. Whose fault is it? Do we blame the creator who gave her all the beauty a woman deserves including the sexiest curves a woman can think of? Is it her fault that she could make men so uncomfortable especially when she is not in their grasp? Or… do we blame the creator for His beautiful creature? Whose fault is it? No one knows what sorrow she bears because everyone believes that she is so blessed by God just because of her beauty.
Who do you blame?
From the little write up above, you will understand that we have been eaten so deep by this very blame game especially whenever something happens to us. Just as I have talked in that little story about the girl with the beauty of a mermaid. You will notice that her beauty was both a blessing and a curse to many but who is to blame? When life becomes so painful and unbearable, who do we blame?
A young girl who was sent to school to study turns out to allow the frivolities of youthful exuberance to put her in a family way out of wedlock. Who is she going to blame? Will she blame her parents for sending her to what I call a den of the lion where only the strong ones survive or will she blame that young man who saw her naivety and took advantage of her innocence? Her case is one too many but it seems like no one knows who to blame. Who should be blamed?
A young man studies and graduates with first-class in a country where survival is for the fittest but yet he was able to graduate. Coming to the labour market, he was faced with job opportunities which are best described as “house boy” and no one cares to know what he is passing through even with his grades, he finds it very hard to eat a decent meal. Whose fault is it? Do we blame the government for not providing good jobs especially for people like him who have made the necessary sacrifice in the academic world? Or was it his fault that he chose to go to school when so many others went into business and yet they are doing far better than him? Who is to blame?
Why blame others for your misfortune
I know you will be wondering why I am writing about the blame game today. The truth is that we have become less truthful and realistic to ourselves which has made it very impossible for us to own up to our mistakes or even take responsibility for our actions. I am writing this article because of an incident that happened in my neighbourhood a few days ago. I will try to cut the story long because if I begin to tell it the way it all happened, most of you won’t be able to read to the end of this article.
There was this young man who came back from America and as good may have it, his mother had already arranged a lady whom she wanted him to marry. Now, this young man out of respect for his mother did not revolt or refuse the girl in question, he went on with the marriage rite and after the wedding, he travelled back with the intentions of going there to arrange for his wife to come over.
After the first two months, the mother of this young man who was now staying with the new wife in their family house came back one evening only to discover that the son’s wife was missing. She alerted her son and after a couple of weeks, they got an Intel that the girl had run back to her former boyfriend who was staying in another city. As God may have it she got pregnant for the boyfriend who also knew quite well that she was married to another man. When this woman heard this, she could not believe her ears this made her journey to the city where the girl was to see things for herself. On getting there she saw the girl with her pregnancy and she called her son who had already finished all the preparation for him to send for his wife to join him in the USA. When this young man heard this, he became so furious and heartbroken that he tore the papers and every other document he had prepared for the girl.
Karma
Most times we forget that whatever we do in life has a reward, this is why we must be very careful when it comes to dealing with others. Now, when the family of the young man (formal boyfriend) went to the house of the girl to make payment for her dowry, they were asked to leave because tradition does not permit such as long as the formal husband has not come to ask for the dowry he paid to be paid back to you. This girl was left to carry the pregnancy outside marriage and this made a lot of people talk about her for her stupidity and foolishness.
Now, the questions to ask are: will she blame the woman who arranged the marriage between her and her son? Whose fault was it that she had to do the thing she did? Was it because her conscience was not talking to her even when she knew that what she was doing was not good? She lost her chances of getting to go to the USA by marriage but her insatiable desires got a better hold of her and now, she is seen walking all over the community looking for who to beg arms from meanwhile the formal boyfriend had left her to marry another which has made her case even harder. Who should be blamed?
Are we to blame the young man who decided to honour his mother's requests by accepting to marry the girl? Should we blame him for not taking his wife with him as soon as he finished the wedding? The situation of this young man is one too many and most times we end up not looking at ourselves to know where we have made mistakes that have cost us our happiness in life. The blame game is one of the worse and unending problems of mankind. We easily apportion blame to others because we are afraid of what the truth might be but can we change the lie by hiding it?
Be that person who will own up to his mistakes and accept the wrongs he had made instead of using the blame game. Life is short therefore live it like every day is your last.
Your article reminds me of the movie entitled "13 reasons why" it also talks about a game blame between a girl's decision of killing herself. After the movie there is only one thing I could say. She is the one to be blame of her death. It is true that the society decrates us sometimes different from the fate we have. But little did we know that it is still up into us what we must take as a decision in the end. We should take the full responsibility of what we choose and stop blaming others.