Fear of Confrontation

This morning I woke up to an annoying credit alert. Hear me out first. Your may be wondering why receiving a credit bank alert will annoy me. Remember my post a few days ago where I mentioned a salary reduction despite a change of title (sorta promotion)? Well, I got paid today and the reduction was almost half of the previous agreement. I was pissed at the fact that someone thought it would be okay to make me do so much work while not willing to pay. I hated the fact that I would have to go all the way to fight for what's mine. I hated that I even had to explain why I deserved to be paid more.

I managed to calm myself down so as not to do anything rash and I drafted a letter politely but firmly stating my opinions. There was a back and forth messaging before we arrived at a reasonable conclusion. The exchange made me so proud of myself because I get anxious whenever I have to confront someone. My heart starts beating face, I become restless and sometimes, I feel my body shaking. Despite all that I decided not to let my calm personality be taken advantage of. I stood up for myself and got results and for that I'm proud of me. I also have my guardian angel in my corner who always supports me and pushes me to do what's right and to that angel, I am grateful. I am expecting a second credit alert to correct the first and I hope I'll be able to sort my bills and debts with it while depending on read.cash for other necessities.

This experience is therefore the driving force for my topic of today, fear of confrontation. This is something a lot of people face; some, more than others. It is the anxiety that comes when you realise you have to talk to someone about something especially a superior, someone who you think may act rashly, someone you have any level of reservations about, someone you may have wronged etc. Talking to someone, on paper, it is as simple as opening your mouth to speak but someone who have some level of fear attached to this act may be worried about the reaction that comes during or after speaking etc.

If you have any level of social anxiety, you may be able to relate to this phenomenon. It is for this reason you may find someone pacing up and down in front of an office before entering. As I say this I remember how I would go to my supervisors office one hour earlier than I was expected to be there and I would spend that time pacing, rehearsing my speech, trying to knock and failing, creating different scenarios in my head and preparing for the outcome. It is only until I finally get myself into the office and see how well I'm received before I calm down.

Now, that I think of it, I know I won't do this again if I'm in a similar situation because I've been working on myself. I've learnt that facing your fears help. When facing your fears, you're not supposed to jump right into it, if you do so, you may crash. There are certain steps that should be followed. The first is to recognise the reason for your fear. Take some time to understand why you feel that way. Is it about the other person? The issue to be discussed? An event you witnessed or heard about?. Figure out the source of your discomfort and acknowledge it. This will help you understand the situation and know how better to navigate it.

After that, the next thing to do is to be prepared. Any form of preparation that works for you should be done. For me, I'll suggest breathing exercises. Inhaling for 5 seconds and exhaling for 5 seconds will help keep you calm. You can increase or decrease the timing as is appropriate for you. Another thing to prepare you is preparing what you have to say. When overwhelmed by anxiety, you might struggle to get your words out right. You might even forget major points you wanted to make. So prepare your speech and possible outcomes. Once you're prepared, you'll feel more confident and you'll be able to deal with their reactions properly.

So remember, in your bid to face your fears, don't just jump right into it, prepare yourself and make that call, knock on those doors, send that message, meet that person.

Have a nice day and a wonderful weekend ahead!

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