Whether he is currently unemployed or you have a higher paying job, the situation can lead to tense moments and sometimes even ending your plans together. Find out if you are with someone who could handle it, and above all, how to ensure that it does not affect them.
Why it can affect you
In general, mainly in Latin America, there is still a strong cultural load that dictates that the man is the one who should have the monetary power over his girl. In a relationship, he usually takes on the role of providing sustenance, but when the opposite occurs, he can weigh on her quite a bit. That this affects the male has a sociocultural background, but also a biological one. Anthropologically, it is related to the conquest. The male sex, by nature, links having enough money with being attractive to women.
In the 21st century, that we earn more than them is increasingly common. One in six women receives more than her better half.
Even if it is temporary: perhaps you have currently found a job with a higher salary, and that makes it uncomfortable.
This can affect lovers who share expenses, but also those who do not, simply because you can afford things that are out of the reach of your boyfriend. If you've already accepted the situation, it's time to think about it.
According to some specialists, a man in this position reacts in one of these ways: the subject influences him or really bothers him. The difference is crucial: "That he is only influenced by the fact that you earn more than he means that he takes it as a reality that he can handle, that is, he accepts it. But when it affects him, he feels less and cannot handle the situation. The reason it partially has to do with what we said about cultural weight, but it also means that he has low self-esteem. " If you notice that he does not get over it, you should think about whether you should continue by his side.
The question is not if you can be with someone who earns less, but with a person who feels threatened by your economic superiority and your job triumphs.
How to handle the situation
If your partner currently has less income than you, talk openly with him about it and show him that it does not affect you. Never demand more than he can provide because he will feel humiliated. That is, if he can only invite you to eat hamburgers, do not ask him to take you to the most expensive restaurant in town. If you are happy with his relationship and you do not care that he does not have as much money as you do, you have to know how to accept what is available to him. Worse still is that you try to invite him to that expensive site.
In the male mind, that would deprive him of the feeling of having some control. A man who on the one hand accepts your economic status and on the other is sure of his worth, he will be proud of you and your successes. If he has the mature enough, he will support you.
But even the most confident man has reservations about him in this regard. Nor do we say that you never have the detail to invite dinner. But do not take the account to pay out of nowhere. Tell him from the beginning so that he agrees. Otherwise, he will feel that he has no vote in the situation.
Signs that he didn't get over it
You want to contribute something (say, soft drinks at the movies) but he reacts offended and does not accept it. This means that he thinks that whoever pays is the boss. It is an indication that he will always want financial control.
The way you fantasize about the future together is kind of like when you buy yourself a house and babysit, and you no longer have to work.
The fact that he says that he will take care of everything and that your job is going to end indicates that he does not think that your professional success is important; this decision must be an agreement.
He doesn't admire your professional accomplishments. "Those who cannot with the idea of having a Compañera who earns more than them, neither value nor give importance to their partner's work."
He is not open about managing his finances. "You don't know how much he earns or how much he owes. The subject is taboo for him? Bad sign."
