Really really frustrated

Title: Really really frustrated

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I'm a guy in my early to mid 20s, and I've never had a serious girlfriend after all these years. It's so frustrating when I go online and use dating apps, and I don't get many matches at all. When I finally message the few matches that I get, and sometimes even arrange to meet up, they usually end up flaking or ghosting. Many of the girls I've dated have seemingly just used me for attention and broken things off quickly when I've wanted to become more committed. It's pretty much shattered my self esteem, and I have a hard time setting boundaries, which further contributes to the problem.

As I get older I've been put into increasingly professional environments where people around me are older and have their own families and social lives, and it's getting harder and harder to meet girls ever since I've graduated college. Physically, I'm just an average height, average looking, studious Asian guy. Some might call me nerdy. It's really hard to date as a guy, and a lot of my friends from high school and college like me are in a similar situation, we're trying hard, but not getting results. Then we get this well meaning, but misguided advice from our parents that we will find our soul mate one day. This is heartwarming, but dubious.

I mean I even get angry when people shame those guys out there who don't have dating success and give condescending advice like Oh you need to learn to be comfortable with yourself, or Relationships don't make people happy, etc. These people need to get off their high horse, obviously toxic relationships are a thing and being needy is not a healthy state of mind, but I think it is only natural to want love and companionship. Does the fact that you're in a relationship mean that you have your life together so much more than others? Everybody is flawed, but in general, most of these asian guys who are so frustrated romantically are really dedicated, career driven, wholesome guys and I don't get people are so sanctimonious and feel better about themselves by painting these guys in a negative light. I oftentimes find that to be the real toxicity when it comes to relationships. #endrant