As I joined my course, a bachelor's degree in computer science, I was hell bent from the day one that it is not for me. I didn't have much of interest in computers but following like a sheep, I enrolled myself just for the sake of a job as its most evergreen one in terms of placements. Since it was a course of four years, I adopted an laid back attitude while other friends of mine who have enrolled with interest were already trying to learn things.

First and second year of my college life was fun only :

In the beginning when none of us knew each other, it was uncomfy but soon as we all course mates got along, we did a loads of fun. A semester passed and we were partying in hostel away from home. I knew my branch and what it focuses on but unlike most who had a background of same in earlier times, I showed zero interest. I had no knack of learning new technology, exploring my field and also no keenness towards working for my future. It was end of first year already and all I did was gym and party and yeah we all played multiplayer lan game COUNTERSTRIKE for hours everyday and I played it for like 2000+ hours in four years of my college life.

While others have already started focusing on our stream's exploration, I was still unwilling to do something about my knowledge and I ignored giving it a try. It's not like I couldn't learn it, after all what task can we not achieve if we put right amount of practice and smart work in place. And soon, the second year also came to an end. Though I had a fair idea of how things are and what we study under my selected stream but still I only studied when exams were near and it was all fast pace gobbled up knowledge mostly for clearing exams.

Neglecting opportunity :

I still had two years left and a person(my girl) to tell me that do focus on your studies and practical implementation and maybe you will start liking it, I decided to give it a try but still I wasn't dedicated while I had an opportunity to improve steadily. I did it half heartedly and again ended up in conflict whether I even like this or not. I always had second thoughts about my choice and I always wondered how it would have turned out for me if I had went for other options. I really had my chance to improve and it was third year already but I still paid no heed to it.

Change incoming with global crisis :

It was Holi(a big festival of my country, India) break and colleges were closing for a week so we were sent back to home on 8 March 2020. We stayed home only till 21 march and very soon, corona shut down the whole world. It started keeping us captives in our own homes and as a result, colleges were shut down too. I again had my chance to learn something new and also, I was pressurized because of the thoughts of getting a job. Therefore, I started exploring and trying new things in Computer Science. Believe me, within a week of trying, I was awe struck by the power of creation it provided me. I really felt like having a pencil which can turn anything it draws into reality. I explored development, though I am not saying that I am a prodigy at it but it's really exciting to learn it. From the last year when lockdown just began and till today's date, I have tried to learn much as I can and what interests me and I have reached a conclusion that when you give it a shot, you gradually catch up and start developing a liking for it. If you wouldn't dare to explore ever and just always be having it in mind that I am not cut out for this, then you really aren't and maybe, you will give up everything to this attitude.

I am about to complete my Bachelor's degree in this discipline very soon and since I was never inclined towards learning it from starting, I am way behind others who did right thing at right time. But, I am trying to catch up gradually by learning new things and hope that one day in near future, I will be a good developer.

I just jotted it down over here to let you know that don't give up even before you start and give it a shot. Even if you are not very smart or particularly keen about it, trying it may do wonders for you and you may even become a great brain of your field. You will gradually catch up and maybe some day, you will surpass those you idolized in journey.

I am also very thankful to the people who always pushed me to give a short and friends of mine who always said : "at least give it a try". They didn't gave up on me and just when they were about to, I fall on right path. Just have that courage to go for it once, you will definitely gradually catch up and improve and surpass.

Btw, I have also secured an average job offer in my field so that is icing on cake for me and a silver lining as an opportunity to provide me more and more knowledge.

Thanks for reading!!!!!!