Various manipulation techniques were mostly used by our parents during childhood (unconsciously)

And they certainly left these consequences on us that we still carry today.

The point in childhood should be for the child to learn to trust in themselves. If his surroundings deny his emotions and needs as a child, perhaps even what he sees, hears or feels ... this can cause lifelong self-doubts.

Many people grew up in families where their emotions were denied or. pushed aside, no one dealt with them, they were ignored, unnecessary, irrelevant ...

The child thus begins to doubt his own truth and also his own value. And this accompanies him throughout his life if he does not consciously heal it.

Denying a child’s feelings causes a sense of confusion about what is true and what is not. He loses his sense of confidence. He then looks for answers somewhere outside of himself what is right for him; which feelings are then correct and accepted? How should I feel to be okay? And he is looking outside himself, never inside himself again, as his feelings were obviously wrong ...

As a result, the child (and later also as an adult) finds it difficult to make decisions, becomes increasingly dependent on others, increases feelings of anxiety or learns to avoid or. escape.

The stress a child experiences when he denies his truth and his needs is an emotional abuse, and the consequences are usually transferred to adult life.

If situations where someone disregards your feelings cause you discomfort in adulthood, imagine how a small helpless soul in a child’s body experiences this.

When we said something as a child, when we did something, when we felt something, and we were ignored, we gained a sense of worthlessness, perhaps even shame or guilt.

Later, this can also result in feelings of panic, dizziness, anxiety, and so on. The biggest problem is if our loved ones don't take it seriously again and wave their hand, saying that we are imagining something, or that we should "get over it" because "there is nothing". Thus we re-experience the denial of what we feel. The pain only gets worse. And we are beginning to believe that something is wrong with us.

Many children had to do something they didn’t like in their childhood, or they weren’t allowed to do what they wanted. Many children’s parents didn’t ask what they really wanted, but rather suggested to them themselves what it was that they should like, how they should think, and how they should feel about their rules.

Maybe they were yelling at them or punishing them with silence. The child finds it difficult to grasp the meaning of either one or the other. He finds it hard to understand why someone is angry at him, especially if someone is angry when he expresses himself. This can cause a lot of anxiety.

Later, many teenagers start using alcohol, drugs, or other substances and the ways they patch their wounds. Some overdo it with food, others with excessive exercise, and so on. Everyone finds their own way.

To love and appreciate oneself thus becomes a very distant concept......

The first thing we need to do is allow ourselves to feel and see all that we have denied within ourselves for years. This is not an easy job. For many years we denied ourselves and acted against ourselves.

The healing path begins when we allow ourselves to feel what we feel, whatever it is, okay.

And just like we were treated by our parents ... That’s how we usually treat others when we’re adults.

If the parents yelled at us, we will yell at our partner. If our parents punished us with ignorance or silence, so will we punish our partner.

And no, we can’t change the past and what happened to us, but we can change the way we treat ourselves and others TODAY.

When certain feelings arise, we do not suppress or deny them, we take a deep breath in and out, and we consciously begin to observe ourselves. We sit with our feelings. I observe them and make friends with them. We do not judge.

In adulthood, certain (even completely banal) situations can cause us old wounds and traumas of being rejected, not getting the love and acceptance of someone else as we would like.

Once again, we need to remember that there is nothing wrong with these feelings.

All this rumor about what is “good, bad, right, wrong” is the reason we don’t know how to accept and appreciate who we really are.

But we need to see misunderstandings as to why we believe in something. We will not consciously notice this because our thoughts create stories based on our old experiences and actions.

Our true emotions and feelings are a habit in the subconscious memory. Why? Because when we felt something, we didn’t have emotional maturity yet, so our psyche preferred to push it into the subconscious.

Now, as adults, however, we can access our subconscious memory and tackle our shadows.

We need to find our inner child who needs treatment. As we go through the process of healing our childish “shadows,” we become more and more compassionate and loving to ourselves and others.

Working with shadows begins by observing what "triggers" us or. what causes difficult feelings in us. What does someone do to keep us from feeling worthy? To feel rejected?

Don’t blame yourself, don’t blame others ... take a deep breath and allow yourself to feel what you feel.

People who cause bad feelings in us or. they “trigger” us, usually just reflecting what we carry within us. They show us how we treat ourselves. They show where we need healing and love.

For example, if someone ignores us, it opens up feelings and wounds of abandonment and dislike in us. In a moment like this, it’s important to notice how we reject ourselves and why we don’t love ourselves.

Unsustainable situations in relationships happen for a reason because they require confrontation with oneself.

It is also a good exercise to write down the reasons why we are sad / disappointed / angry. We just have to be careful not to blame other people for this, but to focus on ourselves and our feelings.

We have the usual protection within us that does not allow us to see or feel our pain quite clearly. Therefore, a good measure of compassion is needed to see things honestly and clearly.

Most often, feelings come to light that we are not good enough, worthy or loved enough.

We need to realize that these are misunderstandings ... that something has happened to us in the past and that we need to welcome it now.

To finally give our inner child unconditional acceptance, compassion, love, and true understanding.

To connect our mind and body with our truth: that we are worthy and loved. That we are exactly enough as we are.

When we come to this truth, energies begin to flow differently through our body. It changes our view and perception of ourselves, others and the whole reality, which is of course only a reflection of our energy.

Photos are taken from google.com.

Thank you for reading my article.

Love you all @Cutecat