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Date,: August 11, 2022

Prompt #11 of @JonicaBradley : Labels

LABELS.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted in the air making me feel nauseated. I always hated the smell but Fred loves coffee more than anything else. I used to tease him about how he loves it more than he loves me and looking back at it maybe he did. And yet I was sipping my first coffee after a decade.

It was too late to stop the waitress from pouring me a cup. Perhaps I could find out what he loves so much about it. I gagged. I had to admit that the taste wasn’t for me either. I supposed the bottled emotions in my chest were the culprit.

“I’m sorry, I was late.”

I looked up. Fred pulled the chair in front of me and sat. His hair was freshly cut. It was unlike him to cut his hair that short. And it wasn’t the only thing that changed about him. He was wearing a blue shirt. The color that he despised the most. Once I bought him the same colored shirt for his birthday and I saw it in the trash the next day. I confronted him and he said it was the ugliest color.

“I’m used to it.” I casually sipped the coffee and pretended not to gag just to avoid the awkward silence looming over us.

“You’re drinking coffee,” he commented with a smile. “You liking it? You know…you don’t have to—”

I put a hand, scrunching my face. “Yeah, it’s awful.” I laughed and he followed suit. It was great hearing his laugh after three years of no contact. If I would be honest with myself, I do miss him. And there was a knot in my stomach telling me to put my arms around him. “So, what do you want to tell me?”

“Do you like this place?”

“Uhm…” I never paid attention to the place. The anticipation of our meeting made me fidgety that I didn’t bother to look around. When I finally traveled my eyes around, I saw the painting hanging on the wall near the entrance. It was a silhouette of a girl's back holding a cat while she sat on a porch. Then there were shelves of books lining one wall and a grand piano in one corner. “Is this yours?”

“What gave away?” he asked. “Aw, the painting! I’m sorry—”

“No. It was okay.” I butted in. It was a painting of me he did when we were still together. “It’s beautiful. When did you put it up?”

“This branch? Last year. And the piano. It was a nice addition, do you want to play?”

I accidentally bit my tongue. I cussed inwardly hissing. “What exactly do you want from me? Why show me these things?”

“Kaye. I am sorry. I know you probably hate me but—” he paused. “I’ve changed. I pulled myself together. I have five branches now and the coffee shops are doing great. I could now give you everything you want.”

I laughed shaking my head. “It was three years, Fred. Three whole years of not hearing from you. We were fine. I accepted all your quirks and then you left me without a word…without a goodbye.”

“I’m sorry Kaye. I—”

“No. You don’t get to say sorry to me. Do you know what you did to me? I needed you that time!” I swallowed hard keeping my anger contained. “Dad left with his mistress. Mom died of depression. And I found our apartment empty. Do you know what you did to me?” A tear rolled down my eye.

Fred sighed. “I know. I…I needed to find myself but I did it now.”

“And in finding yourself, you lose me.” I wiped my face and smiled to the waitress who served us my favorite carrot cake and green tea. “This won’t do anything,” I said looking at the food.

“I was lost back then. You were drowning in sorrows—”

“And you think leaving me will help?”

“I love you, Kaye. I still do. Please give me another chance. I would do anything. Please take me back.”

I shook my head. “You weren’t mine in the first place.”

“I was yours and always been yours.” He was biting down his teeth. His crow’s feet were showing and the tiny dimple in his left cheek would pop in and out. He was nervous. And I was restraining myself to show him pity.

“You couldn’t even put a label to what we were back then. I was your roommate, right? That’s how you introduced me to your friends. A fucking roommate.” I balled my hands.

“Kaye.” I refused to listen. I stood to leave. It was a mistake to come from the start. “Please, Kaye.” He grabbed my arm and knelt on the floor. “Don’t leave me.”

I flung my hand to his face and rubbed my tummy. “You’re three years late, Fred. You should have never left.” I yanked his arm and walked away not bothering to turn my head. Maybe it was the closure I was asking for, finally able to tell him how I felt all those years.