Perhaps you are one of those people who lives sacrificing for others, especially for their loved ones, thinking that without them, others would be completely lost ...
But the truth is that people who go out of their way to pay too much attention to others often have difficulties in their personal relationships.
When you are scheduled to be a caregiver, you desperately do whatever it takes to make sure your loved ones feel valued and supported by you at all times, even if that means, most of the time, canceling, postponing and ignoring your appointments and personal activities, your desires and wishes, without realizing that you have lost your personal space, trying to get others to see you with good eyes.
If you are not clear about what you like or dislike; if your main concern is to please others; if you alter your plans all the time to include or satisfy them, or see that person as the source that gives you happiness or unhappiness ... you may be addicted to living in function of others.
Ask yourself what would happen if you stopped saving the others. The answer to this question will surely show you what are the beliefs, fears and needs that are hidden behind that behavior that leads you to sacrifice your rights and your true feelings.
Remember that when you go too far to please and protect a person, you can make them feel incapable and dependent and even hinder their development and the opportunity to enjoy personal success, without wanting to.
Keys to be more assertive in your relationship with others:
Express directly and clearly what you want. The next time they ask you what you want to eat or where you would like to go, think about it and respond spontaneously. Let others express themselves what they think of your idea, without assuming what they will say to adjust your tastes to theirs.
Choose the right words or phrases. If someone asks you more than once for the favor of doing something that you don't like, don't want to, or don't have time to do, express your refusal firmly and gently. Do it without feeling guilty or fearful of their reaction.
Take the time to think before you speak. If you respond immediately and without thinking, you will surely end up repeating your behavior to feel, a few minutes later, frustrated and annoyed. Think about what you really want to say or do and express it freely. If they truly love you and in the interest of what they need from you, they will understand and accept it without problem.
Thanks for reading and paying attention to my blog.
Many times we put our personal life aside, our needs, to help someone who needs it, but many times you give, give and give and never receive even positive affection. Good advices.