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My Darkest Past, I Ever Regret About!

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Written by   115
1 month ago

My father was a motorcycle mechanic. He accumulate his whole life earning just for a purpose that his son will get education in a good university and will be a successful person. One day I read about a university which was offering Aeronautical Engineering. I applied and gave admission test and I don't know how but fortunately I got selected. The problem was the lesson which teacher deliver was used to go from above my head. I didn't understand a single thing. So I started creating fun sitting on last bench. Collected some money and bought a DSLR camera.

After the camera thing, I started dancing in university functions and Parties. The one thing I gained by dancing is my fear of stage had ended. It gave me confidence. After that, I started sketching. Most of the time I made sketches of my classmates and gave them on their birthday. I was the funny guy of the class. People loved my company. Even in university tours they used to take me with them without allowing me to spend a single penny.

I made friend with a boy who was really very amazing in music. He used to do beatboxing too. With the time my friend circle increased and I was the center of attention. I always do funny things to make people laugh so people loved my company. Spending days in all these fun I didn't even noticed that my academic results were decreasing day by day. As time passed, after the 7th semester my CGPA decreased below 2.0. My university dropped me out. I was like "what?" My 3 precious years were just wasted, my father's saving, my friends and time. All had gone.

This news somehow reached to my father. One of my sister talked to me on phone. She said, not only father's saving but mother's gold jewelry was too used to pay my fees. I was shocked as well as sad. I was not able to face my parents so I decided to stay in the city where my university was. I went through a mental depression. I didn't have enough money to survive but somehow I borrowed from friends to get a flat. Although I succeeded getting a flat but I didn't have more money to eat something. A shopkeeper who used to give me breakfast now refusing because I didn't pay him for days.

I went market and purchased a 10 rupees ($0.10) sachet of powdered energy drink. Put that sachet in a 1.5 liter water bottle and survived 2 fvking days on that bottle. I started searching job and somehow managed to get a job in a supermarket. My salery was about $15 per month. The depression was driving me crazy. All I wanted is an escape. What escape it could be? Drugs!

I started taking Hashish. It made me look like an Egyptian mummy. I became a proper Hash addict. After two months the flat owner refused to give me his flat too. I decided to go back my house. After reaching my house, I said sorry to my father and mother and promised them that I will study hard again. I stopped going out and started preparing for the admission test again. Almost 8 months I never went out of my house. The day came I gave test and this time unfortunately I got rejected in interview. I was not expecting this after that 8 months hard work.

So I decided to do what makes me pleased. Then started the darkest era of my life. Drugs again. But this time I started taking crystal meth.

Crystal Meth or Methamphetamine is a potent central nervous system stimulant that is mainly used as a recreational drug and less commonly as a second-line treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and obesity.

-wikipedia

Meth is world's #6 deadliest drugs and I became a proper addict in just two months. I was not alone. I was doing it with some of my friends. As meth is the deadliest drug, one of my friends died due to excessive use. This incident made me rethink about my life. Some questions arose in my mind, like

  • What I am doing?

  • Is I am on right path?

  • Is it the solution of my problems.

It took me some days to realize that not what I want. I cried like a freakin' baby. Then I thought that what can I do now? I started working in the same departmental store again. Not only this, i started giving home tution to kids. The use money I earned to study again. This time for not engineer but started simple bachelors in mathematics and then masters in mathematics.

Started teaching in a school. Promoted to H.O.D (head of department) of mathematics this year. Although my salery is not in 4 digits ($200 to be exact) but I am the only breadwinner of my family. Father is retired and resting in home now a days. I came here at noise.cash and read.cash to earn some extra money so that I can get married and have a family to live my remaining life with. By the way I am addicted to any drugs anymore.


This is my entry to honorable @JonicaBradley 's prompt to write. I never thought that I would write this but somehow I got courage to write after reading Jonica's article about the topic. Hope you all like it.

What happened to me when I entered first day in Aeronautical Engineering university:

University Hostel and The Story Of My First Kiss.

And when I started studying Masters in mathematics in another university this happened to me:

I cheated On Her.


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Written by   115
1 month ago
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Comments

That took a great deal of courage to write. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.

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1 month ago

Thank you mam for having a time to read my entry 😊

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1 month ago

Mn don't look at your past no need to regret IA you have Amazing future btw Keep it up...

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1 month ago

Thanks 😊

$ 0.00
1 month ago

How I wish I could do the same, currently trap in this darkness for almost three years already sigh

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1 month ago

You should try. No one can take you away from darkness but you. God Bless you friend. Hopefully will recover soon. ❤️

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1 month ago

ohhh, so happy that you’d surpass from that darkness life of yours . God bless to you 😊

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1 month ago

Thanks 😊

$ 0.00
1 month ago