Being a Wife and a Working Mother

Hi everyone, I am 35 years old and a mother of three. I've been married on civil union last 2010. That time I had my eldest child who was 2 years old already. I've been a plain housewife for only a year since after I got pregnant I went home to my motherland in Leyte. During those moments when I am just at home and left by my partner for his job, I realized that there are many roles and responsibilities of a wife. It's not that easy since we had a complicated situation at first. I eloped with my husband trying to escape from my families whom I felt a lot of aggression and problems. Not that I am madly in love with him.

So what is being a wife? There are two types of being wife. A plain housewife and a working one. Based on my experience, being housewife means you have to take care everything at home from daily household chores, nurturing your child or children and most importantly giving support with your husband. My hubby then was working as a laborer in construction company at first. He only received 250 pesos per day. That means for 6 days his total compensation is 1,500 pesos. I have to maximize our budget. That is why he has to wake up as early as 4 in the morning and so do I to prepare his needs because he has to walk on two kilometers to save cost of transportation. When monthy bills come in, my head got headache. I need to allocate 1000 pesos for the rental of room and 200 pesos for the electricity. Water bill is on daily basis for 5-10 pesos at one peso for a gallon. With 1500 pesos weekly income of my husband, 300 pesos was the remaining budget for foods. I admit it was not enough even if I make budgetary meals like cooking or buying lugaw in breakfast and having no snacks. When I got pregnant, we had no choice. I had to go back home in Leyte despite the feeling of anxiety that they will not forgive and accept me. Alas! My family really loves me. My mother embraced me though my father was reluctant then. To make the long story short, I been constantly making budget for our family and child. There are times that I sell snacks so I can increase the amount of budget and buy the basic needs. These experiences motivated me to apply for work after I give birth. I returned to Manila with my child since my husband has been a regular employee and he has received a minimum wage plus an overtime fee. When I told him my plan to work, he did not agree. But because I am a stubborn and I want to help him in raising our child, I got his permission to work.

My first job was being a lady guard in SaveMore Grocery Store at Broadway in Quezon City. I had to wake up as early as 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning everyday so I will not be delayed by heavy traffic. I thought it was so easy. But I got tough time with my husband to the point that I had no more time for my child. He didn't actually complain but he admitted that his work was affected and added that our child needs our affection and time. He said his salary is enough for us already that I don't need to work. But because I am hard-headed woman, who was dying to support my parents too, I plead and insisted that I can handle it. Honestly, deep in my heart it was breaking me. Sure I did have no more time for my husband and child. I have not performed anymore my roles as wife and as a mother. It was during these situations that I got confused and received call from my mother convincing me to stop working and to study educational units. Though my husband was reluctant at first, he was convinced also by my mother. I also assured him that if I become a teacher, I will have a stable job and still have time for them unlike on being a lady guard.

To make the long story, I am now a working mother and a full-pledged teacher with quality time to my family. I am able to do both my obligations as a wife and a working mother. This would not be achieved without my supportive husband.

I dedicated this article for him and for my mother who is always my guardian angel and forever she will live in my heart. May she has beautiful and peaceful life with God in heaven.