How this trauma began?

I am not feeling well today but I choose to be despite of what happened yesterday's night.

My two brother in-law was fighting for a small reasons ,it became big because of one of them who gets drunk and did'nt put the alcohol in his stomach.He act wildly so my husband and together with their parents ,settle them.And they was settled after a minutes of fighting and I thought that they are alright after the settlement but then around 1 am ,we able to awake because of their loud voices and their my fears ,my trauma began felt unwell because of it.

I was'nt able to sleep back and felt uncomfy ,I can't hold my tears while my body was shaking but I did'nt tell my husband about it .I was asking him not go outside and let them fight whatever they wanted ,maybe his one brother was looking something to hurt him then let him gets what he wanted.

My husband was getting inside but he keeps listening and I know he gets ready whatever may happened to his two brothers.I know he can take and just listening to them .Then suddenly he went outside with a loud voice saying "stop it,I am tired from work and not able to sleep beacause of your voices ,do you want something?well ,I can give you what ever do you want"(A shouted voice)And because I am afraid ,I quickly followed him and approached to get inside the house.When the two of them stop fighting ,he get inside the house and lay down beside our son .

But I was trying to closed my eyes but I can't sleep ,a tears was started to fall from my eyes and I felt I can't move my mouth and find difficult to breathe ,so I told my husband about what do I felt and he hurriedly get some water and massage me.

A minute later I felt better and went back to sleep ,maybe its around 2 in the morning when I able to sleep back.

And because my husband was having a work ,I need to wake up at 4 in the morning ,so I only had a few hours of sleep but its okay ,whats important is my breathing is back to normal again.

How does it began?

How does my trauma began?When I was a kid ,our nieghbor was always fighting ,I even saw them with a sharp long knife in their hand and did something bad to each other.

Everytime some of our nieghbor or even my father gets drunk ,well we expected there would be a trouble happened.It was not only happened once but many times ,thats why I am afraid of a drank man though I drank alcohol before but I know how to control my self and it was just a part of being so curios in everything around me.

I am blessed to have a husband who knows how to control himself when he gets drank ,he only sleeps when he get drunk,unlike his brother that will find trouble if he gets drunk.

My mother in-law was selling some alcohol and she had a videok here ,many times that some of his costumers who already was drank and was fighting and it made me to feel worried and fear.I usually locked all the windows and door if some one will fighting outside and never let the kids go outside.

Our place is a quite one and its one of the things why I love to stay here ,we are far from our neighbors but this is my problem,a trouble of the drank persons here who are so brave with the power of alcohol.But so quite if not drunk.

And that would be all for now ,I wanted to rest but my baby needs my care and later on I am going to be busy to buy something we need for my mother in-laws birthday tomorrow.

Thank you for dropping by! Do'nt worry about me ,theres no drank person right now here haha.