Redefined Vow.

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When the weekend is fast approaching, I know what I am envisioning almost every time. My dad has a big penthouse which I called a playing ground because it wasn't roofed. Those times when Saturday is around the corner and all I can feel is excitement and jubilation.

Adjacent to the building was a very large auditorium that was used for so many events like public gatherings, stage performances, birthday bashes, and wedding reception/ceremonies. I used to love to watch whatever is taking place there be it a wedding or any celebration from the view of the playing ground. I could stay as long as I wanted calmly, enjoying the moments between the celebrants, the audience, and the spokesman who MC'd the events.

What also enticed me to keep my gaze fixated was the color of the day, how most of the audience decides to sew the cloth materials into different stylish designs, and the walk-in of the bridal maids of honor so elegantly and stunning, the round of applause and the marriage vows.

For a very long time, I have always heard the marriage vows and I am sure you know exactly those words. For the sake of this narration, this is it...

“ I (name of the bride) take you (name of the groom) to be my lawful wedded husband to have and to hold. From this day forward, for better and for worse, in rich and in poor, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow till death do us apart ... both recite interchangeably ”

Marriage is indeed a union that both partners consented to be in and from the nature of life itself every day won't be so rosy because there would be times of trials and challenges but my question is “ what if every day of their life counts beautifully ” ??

Both look alike but there is a significant difference between the terms “ wedding ” and “ marriage ”. Marriage is the lifetime commitment and obligation of both spouses to live and act as one while Wedding is simply the main celebration of their union which is recognized and legalized as a couple.

As much as I love the wedding ceremony, the couple's entrance, all the fun, and the glamour, item seven is inevitable for me lol, and the dance. There is one thing that negates my faith declarations and makes it appear unworthy of going into that lifetime commitment with assurance although it seems as if it's a do-or-die affair. That one thing is the exchange of marriage vows, as simple and easy as it is to spill out, the effectiveness of that sentence seals the marriage completely whereas it is just a word. An unbreakable solemn promise that's what a vow is.

This appears like the proclamation of the judge as he passes his final verdict on the culprit while the prison warden carries out his judgment by throwing the culprit inside the cell and that is the ring! The wedding ring is the smallest handcuff ever binding spouses in a cell called marriage, that's why one must choose a suitable and compatible partner

In my viewpoint, I see this as a license that some folks use to manipulate their spouses in such a way that they feel trapped in marriage forever because it states “for better and for worse, till death do them part “. The anxiety of leaving the marriage because it's said for eternity can creep indecisiveness thereby allowing weakness and vulnerability to set in and dwell. This is a concern of domestic violence, mental depression, toxic relationships, and other forms of maltreatment. I have heard and witnessed such brutality happen and traumatize folks all in the name of marriage vows.

So, what if I had to write marriage vows for my own wedding.

I wouldn't want an immense crowd of people to be present on my wedding day, a few gatherings of close friends, family, and in-laws present. My marriage vows would be pretty simple, this is how it would be...

“I (........), take you (........) to be my lawful wedded husband to love and cherish you always from this day forward in this holy matrimony for as long as we live together. I promise to stand by you for better and in times of trials, in good health and richness forever! ... both recite interchangeably” 

Why I chose this...

I chose these marriage vows because it sounds optimistic to me and also promising to me. This would give me leeway in creating an everlasting advancement of myself and improvement of my marriage.

Another reason I chose this, would be a leverage of a way out (divorce) when everything turned out the way I didn't expect. One thing I know is that marriage brings out the real personality of a spouse, many spouses hide lots of information, secret, toxicity, and schemes from their partner only for them to discover in the long run.

This would be my reason for choosing personal marriage vows that would protect and serve my interest.

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