Sometimes, it doesn’t even matter how good your self-awareness is. You might know yourself, but you’re not BEING yourself. Sounds familiar?
Here are a few more questions for you:
Are you the same person at work and at home?
Are you the same person when you’re with your friends and with your spouse?
Do you feel like you’re forced to behave differently in some situations?
Often, the answer is no to the first two questions, and yes to the last one. The reason is that we somehow feel we have to be different people in different situations. But that’s a lie.
Ralph Waldo Emerson put it best:
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Emerson’s quote is still as current as can be. We really live in a world that tries to turn you into something you’re not. There are so many standards about the way you should look, talk, and behave.
Don’t try to change yourself.
We often find ourselves in situations where we feel we don’t belong. Maybe you feel like an outsider at work, at school, at your in-laws, or even at home.
Now, I don’t believe in the whole, “you don’t get me,” thing. Too often people just try to rebel and say that other people don’t get them. That’s either pretentious or childish.
However, I do believe in one simple thing: Never apologize for who you are.
It has nothing to do with being rebellious or an outcast. It just has to do with being you. And sometimes, you just can’t be yourself. In those cases, it’s time to get out. There’s no other solution.
“Why not change yourself?”
I used to believe that. But it’s not something that works. Again, it’s a story that society has made up. It’s particularly made up by business people. They say, “you just have to adjust to the company culture.”
Really? Do I have to adjust to complaining, backstabbing, and office politics? If that’s not your thing, don’t adjust.
Peter Drucker said it best in Managing Oneself:
“The conclusion bears repeating: Do not try to change yourself — you are unlikely to succeed. But work hard to improve the way you perform.”
Be yourself, don’t change being you for anyone, if they don’t like you for who you are then they don’t deserve to be in your life. You are you and you can’t be anyone different.
Improve yourself, but never change. Be someone better, but remain yourself. Forget who hurt you, but don’t forget who loves you every day. Forget the past that makes you cry and focus on the present that makes you smile.
Don’t ever change just to impress someone. Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a better future.
