Infinity

I remember growing up watching TV shows and movies that were set in the future with their futuristic technologies and medical advancements. I used to think how I would be alive to see the technology come out when the film's years arrived. I imagined myself as the one who would design the next ship, or be the test pilot on a successful flight. But I was sorely disappointment. Decade after decade rolled by. New advancements would come out for TV's cellphones, car features, even airplanes. But technology for space exploration seemed to lag far behind.

I was completely obsessed with seeing new advancements in space technology. So obsessed that in my mid 30's I signed up for this program testing out experimental drugs. This company, XSE, researching a formula to extend a person's life and I was one of their first volunteers. I was also one of the lucky ones that survived the first phase. It was considered too risky at the time to continue with them considering that out of 100 volunteers, only six of us survived. Four of the volunteers eventually died of old age. I believe they were between 190 to 200 years old when they finally passed.

As for Jo and I well, we're still kicking it strong. We didn't seem to age much over time. Hell, I don't think we aged at all ever since we volunteered for the program. Scientists were puzzled considering we only completed phase one out of four and would have us come in once a week so they could take some blood samples and run their tests. After about 10 years of this, they had told us to just check in if anything changed, and to schedule a regular checkup every year or so. Even though our cases were considered a fluke, I was ecstatic that my ageing process seemed to cease.

Jo and I became close as the decades went on. We had the same passions, and similar goals. We had such a thirst for knowledge. We learned as much as we could about space programs and technologies, trained to be astronauts, learning anything and everything that dealt with the universe, and we even studied theoretical ideas on space travel. NASA even hired us without so much as an interview. Our seemingly immortal lives being a great seller. After we had exhausted all the resources we could find to further our knowledge, we were able to focus even more on our projects.

I was about 327 years old when we finally made our first breakthrough on interstellar travel through the universe. We worked hard everyday, sometimes working in shifts with colleagues we brought on to help. I would be up all night, and Jo all day constantly pushing our research forward and building prototypes. We had more colleagues than we could ever possibly count that helped us over the centuries. It was heart wrenching for the both of us to watch those who we worked so close with to grow old and eventually die.

The world had seen many of our prototype ships become the living vessels that are still in use today, although they are considered antiques now. We designed better suits for space explorers, better technology for probes, weapons, armor and more. We weren't too keen on the development of weapons, but we understood the need for our men and women to be able to defend themselves if the need were to arise. And it eventually did thanks to a reckless captain. The damn fool nearly cost us all our lives, 'our' as in all of the human race, when he blundered the first contact with another species.

Even though we had made so many incredible breakthroughs, we still came up short on producing technology that would allow us to travel at the speed of light. Don't get me wrong though. We had developed technology that allowed us to travel at amazing speeds through space, but we just hadn't gotten down light speed travel. It wasn't until I was nearing my eight-hundred and third birthday that we had finally made that breakthrough. I think I squealed louder than Jo out of excitement!

It took some time to get various prototypes up and running after we were able to more or less perfect the technology. They were run remotely from another ship as we tested them out. In the beginning there were mistakes and failures, but we eventually started to get it right. Then the day came that a trial run with a human pilot was to be attempted. At that time I just knew I had to be the one to take that first leap forward. All the TV shows and all the movies I watched as kid came rushing back. I wanted to be just like the captain in those shows and steer my very own ship into light speed travel.

It took more persuation, and more tactics of, than I care to admit. I'm even a little ashamed at some of the stunts I pulled. My biggest regret was the wedge I drove between Jo and me during those times. A wedge that could never be removed.

So the day came, and I was as giddy as a school girl as I suited up and made my way to the ship. I'm a bit embarassed to say, but I got so excited once I sat in the cockpit that I even wet myself a little. If I wasn't for the sensors in my suit I would have never known I did. Nor would the whole world of known through the live broadcast.

The time had finally come. The countdown started. I remember seeing Jo's image on a personal channel before having to focus on my task at hand. She had a beautiful smile on her face, her eyes slightly shining. But it wasn't just the shine of happiness, but also of worry and fear. I kissed my fingers and placed them over the image of her mouth on the screen before sealing my helmet. As she returned the gesture, the tears she had been holding back had broke free, streaming down her cheeks. The viewer went black shortly after, having been cut off by someone at control. I guess they wanted me to have my full wits and focus about me. I had never confessed my feelings to her, but I swore to do so when I returned although I think she already knew.

The ship hummed as it came to life. My hands glided over the control panels as I flipped the proper switches in the right sequences. Even though this was my first time actually doing this, I knew this ship inside and out better than anyone. Except for Jo that is. We had designed it together, and it felt completely natural to be here getting the ship ready for travel. I slowly engaged the engines, watching the display for any rogue ships or satellites that may get in my path. I increased my speed steadily until I was at full speed without going to light speed. Once all the lights were green and the systems in place were good to go, it was just a simple flip of a switch, and push of a button, and off I went at light speed.

That was the last thing I remembered doing. I don't know what had happened after that. I just seemed to awake in perpetual motion flying through space. I was aware of everything around me like I could see every angle around me all at once. But I wasn't in my ship. I didn't even have a body. I had no voice to scream with. No limbs to flail with. Just this sensation as I moved through space. Moved at light speed through space. Somehow... Somehow I had become formless like light. I was full of fear as I traveled. I could see the planets around me., see the planets as I rushed towards them!!! But instead of crashing into the ground, I seemed to reflect off the planet before I got even close to its surface. I've been to nine planets in 12 years ans it's starting to show. Figuratively I'm having a hard time controlling my thoughts. My vision seems to be getting worse. I just want to lash out and scream and wake up from this nightmare!!

God!...

Please help me...

.... Please....

Author's Note:

One's own autobiography told in their own mind. Is light speed travel in space possible?.

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