Her eyes reflected the millions of stars above us and her pale skin bathed in the moonlight. She looked up into the not too cloudy sky with a vacant and content stare while taking another drag on her joint. She was more quiet than usual;meaning, between the two of us, there were little words spoken.
Her hair fell in its natural way, in dark and messy waves. Her eyelashes were covered in no mascara and her face was free from foundation. Her lips weren't red and the underneaths of her hazel eyes had a slight purple tint as a reminder of the sleep she was inevitably missing. Her freckled shoulders held up the thin straps of her tank top and she wore her long shorts that cuffed at the knee. It was now-under the brightest full moon of the year, on the cold tiles of the roof of my house, free from fancy dresses and make up that I saw Jade's beauty.
She was soft spoken. No one really knew her because she had an impeccable ability to befriend many people without having to share more than she wants (which is not much). She was a sister among many other siblings much younger than her and, naturally, decided that she preffered her own company. She was kind and self-assured and she had great ideas about things no one would think or dare to question. Jade was like a dream, and I was the neighbour she tolerated. She was my neighbour who I always fascinated myself with.
Wordlessly, she put the rolled up drag between my teeth. After giving her a stern look. Which was returned with another- I inhaled and let the drugs into me.
"Weed is like a remedy for me," she finally drawled, "it's what I turn to when the world falls to shit; when I turn to shit...."
I hummed in response and we sat in silence once again. Apart from the occasional car horn or sound of tires against road, the city was silent. Crickets or cicadas -I'm not sure, I didn't pay much attention in 2nd year biology-or maybe both, were the loudest noise heard from our perch on my roof a 2 am that night.
Jade looked at me after a long time. I noticed without acknowledging and saw as she studied the boy sat beside her. "Ask me something," she whispered.
I turned to her slightly and properly watched her eyes wander over my form. My stick thin arms, jean-covered legs and tatty sneakers, my ash-blonde hair and my average face. Although I felt a wave of self-consciousness as she looked me up and down, she seemed to find the lanky class-clown beside her the most interesting thing she had seen. For a second, her question slipped my mind. I hummed softly as if asking her telepathically to ask me once more.
"Ask me anything, I'm sick of not telling anyone anything."
I thought for a second while she finished her stick of remedy. "What is it like inside the mind of Jade Peters," I ask eventually.
To this, she did a little bit of an airy giggle, where it's more of a knowing huff. "What isn't inside of my mind?"
After a slight pause, she continued in a slow and quiet voice, "I guess I think about many things. I think about where I'll fit in the world, how everyone else does, about how I'm going to manage after graduation, whether or not there is a higher purpose for any of us, the fact that not one of us are special and, even if we are living our lives in first perspective, we aren't all different and we aren't all book characters like we all dream to be. I guess I think a lot about the reality that humanity tries to forget."
I sat in silence, holding onto every word that seemed to fade into the night otherwise. "What are you thinking about now?"
She cocked her head to the side, staring intently at the sky beyond the horizon. "You," she stated simply.
"I'm on all kinds of shit for all kinds of reasons. Mostly anti depressants. They're supposed to make me stop thinking, but I don't think they work. I'm not supposed to drink when I'm on them but I do but you know that obviously, you held my hair back that one time when I got too drunk.
"I wish I didn't need drugs to make me feel more human. Marijuana and alcohol and paroxetine... I depend so heavily on remedies and I'm not even sure when they end I start anymore..."
Her stare remained vacant but she turned to me with a slight smile "I'm thinking about you because you're a bit of a tether to reality for me at the moment. Because, in this last year, I've come to make a proper friend. If I don't know me, I'm sure you know me. Because I'm letting you know every corner of me, letting you be as close to a best friend as I'm ever going to get." She held her hand out and I placed mine in it. It was warm, but not clammy or sweaty in the slightest. In comparison with my cold hands, hers were perfect. She grinned softly once more. Everything about her tonight was soft and quiet and she seemed more comfortable than I've ever seen her. Her feet rubbed against each other absent mindedly and she had an aura of relief after a long absence of relief;she was beautiful and calm and happy.
I wanted more than anything to give her back that soft grin she had granted me with. I wanted more than anything to scoop her up into my arms and tell her that everything was okay. I had known Jade to be this strong willed person all my life, and slowly she was becoming this soft and calm person before my eyes. Strong all the same, but she had finally given into her loneliness and let herself be.
In spite of every though inside me telling me not to, I removed my hand from Jade's and instead pulled her into a kiss. Her lips where soft and unalarmed and she slowly wrapped her arms around my shoulders. Her fingers played with my messy hair and my hands found their way to her hips. I refused to let the moment or this faithful night on my tiled roof go. After however long, we both pulled away from each other and Jade leaned across the slanted roof to place her head on my shoulder. I couldn't help but think about how nicely we fit together. How well we worked as a team.
Jade didn't look up at me, or even open her eyes but she whispered a thank you. She told me that, for once, she felt human. I told her the same. I told her that sometimes we need a reminder that we're all human. To this, she gave her huffy giggle.
After however long, Jade decided she had to climb back over into her own room. With a fleeting kiss, she effortlessly crawled across branches and sat on the windowsill of her two-story high window, for a second she turned around and offered me one final soft grin.
Thank you, Jade Peters. For reminding me that, in this night beneath a thousand stars, I am human.
Author's Note:
It is 3:15 am and I decided that instead of sleeping, I would write shitty story about two confused teenagers finding comfort in a late night on a rooftop. You will notice lines identical or alike to Dodie Clark's "HUMAN". That is, of course, intentional. She deserves all credit for those lines, the tittle and the idea of this story.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
