Getting Married?

"Do you want to get married already?"

"Do you get envious about your friends and the people you know getting married?"

Well, I would be lying to you if I'd say "NO." To be honest, I really want to get married already. Not because I am pressured. Not because I want to be out of the house. Not because I want to show off that I am married but because, "I WANT TO". I want to be able to be with the person I love. I want to be near him everyday. I want to wake up and go to sleep seeing him there beside me. I want to start a whole new journey to forever. It sucks having to be so far away. It sucks that whenever I miss him and whenever I needed someone to hug, he can't be there. Yes, I know, I shouldn't be complaining because he, too, feels the same way and yes, we are working so hard to get everything fall into the way we planned but, with the situation now, the process is really slowing us down.

As to the second question, yes, I do feel envious but, not in a bad way. I am happy for them, YES, I truly am. But, deep inside me, I wish it would be me, too. Every day whenever I scroll on my Facebook feed, I always see people getting engaged and getting married and giving birth to babies and here I am, I feel like I am stuck in a tunnel - struggling to move forward.

I could see how beautiful and romantic their proposals are and here I am, he didn't even kneel in front of me to ask me the billion-dollar-question,

"Will you marry me?"

All he did was order a bouquet of flowers online along with the ring and wrote me a letter to ask me the question. And that, made the whole problem because the ring doesn't even fit me since he didn't know my size and also because I have such tiny fingers. (laughs) But yes, I shouldn't be complaining because other people there don't even propose nor give rings but their love is so pure. I know he loves me so much and I guess, that is all that matters more.

It's just that, with the long wait, I am getting so frustrated about it that sometimes, I'd even think that maybe it really is not meant to be. But, I guess, God just wanted us to wait. Maybe, God is still working to make my dream wedding come true exactly the way I dreamt it to be. Maybe, God is just testing my patience. Maybe, God is still putting everything in line so when the time comes, everything will be perfect.

I do not know for sure what is in store for me in the future but I guess, I'll just have to surrender everything to God and trust Him fully. If it isn't meant to be, I'm sure, He should've grabbed me away from it a long time ago. And if it really is meant to be, hopefully, one day soon, I could already get His "YES."

If you are like me and is starting to get frustrated about something you have been waiting for and is taking so long for God's "Yes", whatever that may be, well, let me tell you that,

"I feel you. You aren't in that boat alone. Let's just keep on praying and trust God's process. Remember, His ways are a lot better than our ways and His plans better than our plans. I know it is so frustrating but even gold take a long time of process so it'll come out beautifully. Just look at things on the bright side all the time. Be positive. And whenever you start thinking negative like how I am now, just pray. Nothing works a lot better than a sincere prayer from the heart."

Love lots,

Jane<3