Morning

Ikaapat

I woke up early the following day. So early that I had to stay in bed for more than an hour before going to take a bath. I was busy analysing my life. And at that moment I wanted to focus only on the positive. Which I did. You know; they say: when the Door Closes, God always went on and Open the window. I felt like He was on my side. He has been on my side ever since I was born. He walked with me through everything. I still dont know how I managed to survive some challenges I went through. I dont know how. But I am grateful I did. And than I went on and I was thinking about Zizipho. She was a young fine woman. Very beautiful. She looked 2/3 years older than me. But you may never know. She has a perfect body. She just does not know how to dress for her body. She is loud. Too loud and talkative. Most of the time saying all the wrong things. She was a bit rude and full of herself. She knows she was beautiful. But than when you get close to her. She was fragile. I can't imagine how it was like living with a drinking father and a sick mom. Her life was difficult. I woke up and went on to take a shower. I know this may sound a bit confusing. I was confused too. But Zizipho gave me a reason to wake up and go to work. I was so happy going to work coz I always knew I will see her. And this day I felt so strong and fresh. I was looking forward to a new day. After I was done showering I went on to wait for a bus. And it came. I went to work and all was well. Lunch time Zizipho came. Carrying her lunch box. She came and sat opposite me. She was doing the same thing. I dont know how to explain. But when she is eating; she uses her hands. She never used a spoon ever since I have met her. And she will hold whatever that she is eating with both hands. Tilt her head on the side and close her eyes. U could see she did not want to be disturbed. It will be just her and her food. And I always admire that. Cleo was the same. And I always tell her that it was good to appreciate food coz some kids were going to bed on an empty stomach. I even stopped eating watching Zizipho. Finally she was done. "You have not finished your food, are you okay?" She asked. She looked so concerned and I was happy to know that she cares. "yeah am good. I had a big breakfast" I lied. I was watching her. But of course I could nt tell her that. That is just weird. Watching how people eat. We went on and talked about a lot of stuff. Until she started being serious. "Sphesh. I have a feeling that there is something you know and you are hiding it from me. Please tell me" She is the only one who called me Sphesh. Everyone call me Sphe, Sihle or Sphesihle. She just chose a different one. "Please share with me" as she was saying that, her hand was already brushing my left hand. I did nt remove it. And I did nt move my hand either. I was enjoying the moment. Enjoying in a way that I knew I will end up spilling the beans. Yes Zizipho deserve to know who I was and everything that I knew. But I did nt want to scare her off. "Zee. How would you feel if you can find out that everything you once believed in and cherished was just a lie.?" I was looking straight at her eyes. I wanted to see her reaction and whether she was being honest or what. She did not respond. But I could see she was thinking deep. "I think I will be hurt. I prefer a person to be straight forward and tell me the truth. There is nothing I hate more than someone who tries to protect me by a lie. I hate that. I hate it." The way she said I could feel she meant it. I almost laugh at the way she pronounced the "I hate it" part. She looked at me and smiled. "I never thought it was possible for me to smile again. Thank you" she said that with tears in her eyes. I almost cried also. And what will she say if she finds out that the woman who is behind her sister's disappearance is my mom. How can I tell her that without hurting her. "What's wrong Sphe. You seems like you carrying the world on your shoulders." Maybe telling her will not be a bad idea. Let me just do it now than later. "I am sorry that your sister is missing. And I am sorry that I will break your heart." I looked at her. And she was still following but her eyes had tears already. "Zee, Siphokazi was my mother." She looked lost. Like she does nt know what I was talking about. Oh. It must be the name Siphokazi. "Your teacher who was there for you and your family. She was my mother." She lighten up. She looked happy. "Wow you must have taken after her. And now you are helping us. My mom will be so happy to hear this. My lunch is over. Let me go. I will see you later. Wow" she left and I tried stopping her. But she was too excited to hear me. She left and I also went back to my chores. I had promised Zee that I will wait for her. But by 4oclock I was already in the bus home. I could nt wait. I dont know why. But I just could nt. I went home and thought I should spend time with my kids. They were happy and so was Jacqui. And I was too. Until I spotted Zizipho car parking on a gate. She walked out and did not even wait for someone to come to her. She was walking with pride coming towards my eye. I was standing outside with Cleo and Theo. Jacqui had gone inside. As she was getting close, Cleo asked: "Mom. Is that your friend?" She looked at me. And I answered with a yes. I dont know what to call Zizipho so a friend was an easy way out. I told my kids to go on and play after introducing them to Zizipho. "They are cute" she said looking at them while they were running along. "Their father..? Is he white?" That was just like her. Zizipho. Saying anything that comes to her mind without thinking. "No. He is coloured. Just taken a lot from his white side family" saying that I did nt even know if it was Mthunzi's mom or Dad who was white. I just assumed that his father was white. Coming to think of it; I know nothing g about Mthunzi. And its my fault. I have been with him for so long. Yet I never took an initiative to know about his family and background. What am I going to tell my kids when they want to meet their father's family. Zizipho noticed that I was far away. "Hey come back" she said that waving her hand in front of my eyes. I smiled. She smiled too but than stopped and frown. "Sphesh, you said you will wait for me. Did I say something wrong. Did I do something. Please tell me. I can't lose you. I can't. Not now" She was already crying. And the way she said that; I know I was supposed to be happy or grateful but I did nt in fact I was just scared. What if Zizipho is replacing her sister with me. But than I dismissed that thought. I was being Sphe now. Always analysing everything. But I failed to analyse the man I loved dearly. I calmed Zizipho down and asked if we could go and chat in her car. We went there. I did nt want my kids to be suspicious. She was sitting there. With her eyes blood red. I did nt knew what to say. So I took her hand and held it. "Zee. You did not do anything. You did not say anything. Its just that I saw how happy u were when you heard that Siphokazi was my mother. And I felt bad. Not for me. But for her. I wish she knew how much people trusted her. How many kids wanted to be her. How many families prayed for her and asked God to bless her. I feel bad that she died without meeting all these families who lost their family members and listen to them telling her how was life at that time." I paused. Zee was just looking at me. She was a bit confused but following. For once she did not disturbed me. So I went on and told her: "Zee. My mom was working as a human trafficking agent on the side. She was stealing young girls and using them for whatever. At first it was just girls but than she went on and expanded her business. Kidnapping boys too" Zizipho was crying and shaking her head at that moment. I dont know whether she was saying am lying or she wanted me to stop. I pretended as if I did not see her reaction and went on. "The boys were used for body parts Zee. No matter which part. Andost of these kids, its either she was teaching them, their parents or their family members. My mother was a monster. And it breaks my heart that even now people still think she was a hero. She was no Hero." Zizipho looked at me. With tears still in her face. She wanted to say something but she did nt. She went on and cried. I leaned towards her trying to give her a hug but she pushed me away. And turn her head to face the opposite direction. Maybe she needed time to adjust to all this. I touched her cheek, she did nt turn. I planted a baby kiss on her cheek, opened the door and left. I did nt even look back but I could her car starting, tyres screeching and she left. It was only than that I turned and looked back. She was gone. I could see where her car had been standing. I smiled. I was happy that I have told her the truth. I was not so sure about Mthunzi being involve so I did nt want to speculate. I went inside and Jacqui was already bathing the kids. I offered my help but she said she was okay. So I sat there and tried making small conversation but my mind was not there. I excused myself and went into my room. I called Mthunzi he did nt answer. I called several times and after some time; his phone was off. I decided to call the number of the camera man. And he answered on the first ring. Time was almost 8pm and I did nt realise it was this late. As a results I did nt know what to say. Until I heard him calling me. "Hello. Are you there. Who is this" he asked. I released I had to say something. "Hi. I am sorry to call this late. My name is Pretty and I need your services. Please" I waited for him to respond. But he also kept quite. After some time he spoke. "Where did you get this number. Have I ever worked with you before.?" I did nt knew what to say. I am not even sure if he knew Mthunzi. So I decided to be honest. "No. We have never worked together before. But you were working for my mother. Siphokazi. I have taken over. *Silent*

There was a moment of silent for few minutes. The guy finally spoke. "Let us meet face to face; we can't discuss this over the phone." He said that and dropped the phone same time. He did nt even wait for my response. Maybe mentioning Siphokazi was a dumb idea. If he was working with her, he probably knows about the beef between us. Dumb move Sphe. Dumb move. I wanted to call him again. But I did nt want to look as if I was desperate. So I went to bed and slept. Woke up and did the usual the ff morning and than left for work. I saw Zee but she just walked past me as if she did nt knew me at all. I allowed her to be like that. She is still shocked. She probably think I was involved too. Maybe I should go and talk to her during lunch. I went to my desk and carried on with my work. It was not even 10am when Zizipho came into my office breathing fire. "So what was your plan? Why you acted as if you want to help me. Whya re you even telling me this about my teacher. Why now; after you saw her in my album. You have been quite all along. Letting me do the talking and all of a sudden you want to tell all. Why?" I understood her reaction. But at that moment; it was not the right place or time to have such discussion. "Meet me at the foyer on lunch time; I will explain." As much as she was not so happy about that but she agreed and left. I could nt carry on with my work. I took my phone and a text message came in at that time. With a Map. And a text saying "call me when you are there. Anytime." I read the text and concluded that it was from a camera man. I waited for lunch time and the clock was ticking very slow on that day. Finally it was lunch time and Zee was already waiting. She had a sandwich in her hands. But she looked miles away. She was disturbed by me and put her food back in her lunchbox without eating it.. I went and sat next to her and held her hand as in to squeeze it. She turned to face me and tried so hard to smile. She reminded of the Zizipho I met the first time. Clearly my presence brought a smile in her face. I felt tears in my eyes. Its a good thing she won't see me since I sat next to her. She stood up and went to sit on the opposite side. Still holding my hand. She looked at me. And I wiped my face. We had our hands on the table and she was looking straight into my eyes. "I believe you. And I will like to believe that you were never rinvolved in any of your mom's shady deals. I will like to believe that you are the person that I thought you were when I first met you; please tell me you are that person." She pleaded. "I dont know what kind of person is that. But I was never involved in Siphokazi's dealings. But my boyfriend might be involved. I am still not sure though. But the file I had been carrying. I stole it from him." Zee did nt say anything. She let out a sigh of relief. She even did nt care about what I said about Mthunzi. I than told her about an sms from a camera man after showing her where I got his numbers. She pleaded that she wanna come with me. And I agreed. But I will have to text this man to let him know. We agreed that we were going there on the very same afternoon. I texted the guy and he did nt respond. Later on we went to the place. It was not that far except it was very remotely. Far away from everything and everyone. We waited in the car. Nobody was close by. And no one appeared. We waited for hours. I tried calling him. He did nt answer. I texted him. He did nt respond. At almost 10pm I told Zee we should go. The place was not safe. And we left. Zee was about to drop me home when a text message came from that guy. "You are definitely not Siphokazi's daughter. Her daughter would have never came into a place like that at night. You are too naive. I will text you the right location. Meet me there tomorrow." I showed Zee and she laugh. I did nt see anything fun. "So this guy is insinuating that we are stupids. Wow" she laughed again. I ended up laughing too. He was right. That was very stupid of us to go there. At night. We said our goodbyes and Zee left. And promised to call when she gets home. And she did. Even thanked me for an evening well spent. I went to bed and fell asleep. I knew I was neglecting my kids. But I wanted to accomplish this mission. As for Mthunzi. He had completely forgotten about us. I woke up when I heard Cleo screaming and feared the worst. I rushed into her room and Jacqui was already there. Cleo had a blue eye. And I did nt see it. Because I did nt see them when I came back. It was late. I went to her and held her. I hated myself. Jacqui noticed I was about to cry. "It was an accident, she was playing with Theo and some other kids, I gave her pain killers. She will be fine." Okay that was not clear to me. If it was an accident why is she crying. "I will take her to my room. I dont mind sharing a bed with her." I told Jacqui and I was already picking up Cleo. After everything Jacqui did for us. I knew she will never hurt my kids. She loved them too much to hurt them but I knew she was hiding something. And I felt like she was protecting someone. I just did not know who. I put Cleo down and she was already asleep. I slept next to her. Hugging her. And she slept so peaceful. I decided to take a day off from work. And that meant I was not gonna see the camera man. I texted Zee to let her know. She was not so pleased. But my kids comes first. I took Cleo to the doctor the ff day. I texted Mthunzi to let him know that Cleo was hurt. He did nt respond. We were sitting in a waiting room waiting for Cleo's turn. I kept on trying Mthunzi's phone. And Cleo was stealing glances as if she did not want me to see that she was checking me out. She put her head on my lap. And started sucking her fingers. She only does this when she is sad. "What is it Princess?" I asked her. She did nt even raise her head but she spoke. "Dont call Dada. I dont want him to come." I felt a sharp pain in my heart hearing my daughter saying that. I did not know what to say. A lady called us and we went to Doctor's room. She was examined and given some medication. We went home. Holding hands. I wanted to know how did she got injured and why does she hate Dada. But I did nt know where to begin. We went to McDonald's and thats when I brought the topic. And she answered me. Although some answers felt like a riddles. But I was determined to know what was wrong.