The day is slipping away into history and the sun has already given in to the dark clouds gathering. My head hurts. Either from the restlessness of my unsettled soul or from the endless blunts.
Today I have turned thirty seven. I can't articulate the thrill of living past thirty three so I am quite grateful to be here.
My favourite girl didn't get that opportunity and today of all my birthday's I missed her the most. I believe she would have had a few crucial answers to some pressing matters.
Some that I have had since I figured myself out. Some that can only be answered by her herself. Others that involve an indepth look on how to simply do life. Mothers have magic powers, my daughter keeps saying and I believe mine had some too.
Other than wishful thinking, I have welcomed back my never leaving pain. A beautiful journey grew teeth as sharp as those of a shark to tear my hope and dreams in pieces. I am yet to digest it.
This has invited writing escapism back here. The act of being thrown from warmth to the furthest corner of the South Pole has left my soul in an arthritic mode. I can feel myself fighting to stay warm while the conditions of where I am are forcing me to go numb.
I am broken waiting to be frozen.
My offsprings and siblings have sang praises. They've showered my being with too much love. Family is what is helping keep the chaos inside intact.
Dear diary.
I promise you a better entry tomorrow but today, all there is this unexplorable pain.
I celebrate almost four decades of living and existing. Of the life lessons and challenges that have left me drained but a lil bit wiser every goddamn time. The sun. And the many times she has smiled on my face. Of the wind. And her ever present presence.
this is lovely...thanks for sharing! =)