What's in My Head 

July 22, 2022

I sometimes forget to update here. Yes, and it would bring me to one of those moments where people practically push the anecdote.

No one is too busy; it's just a matter of priority.

And yes, that is true, but I also value consistency. Thus, from then on, I would remind myself to put dates on all my future articles.

Here's for July 22...

I am a thinker; some would say an overthinker. Well, I don't know how to classify that. These days, the term "overthinker" refers to people who stay up late thinking about their lives, their loves, and their problems.

I, on the other hand, think about things most of the time, including daydreaming. I'm inquisitive wherever I go. So, when I see a plant, I immediately think of senescence, auxins, and growth and I draw patterns in it. I can't live without patterns. I tend to organize things in my mind and keep them messy as long as I think that some elements of the pattern aren't there yet.

I hate it when people touch my things or talk to me when I'm in the middle of figuring out something in my mind. I don't want to get disturbed. If you see me writing something with a lot of books open on my table, just mind your own business. 

I am also detail-oriented and tend to check sources, often multiple sources, when I am not convinced of a particular idea (this is known as cross-referencing). For example, if we're just talking about espresso, you would be surprised that moments later we would already be discussing machiato, americano, red eye, the content of espresso in it and the like. 

I don't know if this is right, but I'm actually seeing that I'm building the habit of a perfectionist person. I don't know what you call me, whether there's good in it or not.

I overcomplicate things, theories, and everything, sometimes my problem, but most frequently the data in front of me. I am not a detective or anything like that, but I can't settle with simple things, simple conclusions, simple ideas.

I want drama in everything. Not really the crying era, but that breakthrough we all call. And I don't know what you call this, but I am comfortable with a lot of information.

Some say "No stop that it's TMI already" (too much information). I don't mind that, as long as I am interested, but somehow along the way I need to stop again because I need to check whether what you said is really valid or not.

And lastly, I feel so overwhelmed that there's a nagging feeling that I don't want to work, but I woke up still working anyway. And I ask myself when will I ever give up, but I realize I would not give up. I seem boring, but I don't know why.

Is that an admirable skill that "one who never gave up?" I don't think so. Everybody can rest, and I won't. And all I hoped was that I'd find good in doing this or that, at the very least, my efforts would be paid.

I get discouraged though and sad from time to time, but I don't know, I can't give up and I don't like the idea of giving up either. Let me know your thoughts. Or your questions I might want to address that in the next article. 

My mind's messy right? What do you think?