Quite a Narrative for a start

Hey guys! This is your angel, Thain. I really don’t know what to tell you right now. It's been a while since I wrote on this platform, and while I consider this activity giving me some cents, the relief I’m getting after writing out my thoughts is the ultimate benefit. And today, I really had a lot in my mind and body that I wanted to let go of and just be my own representation.

I guess since the pandemic took its toll, I've been a lot more procrastinating and lazy than before to the point that I have carried it on my routine in the first half of 2022.I’ve been too invested in things that seem real but are just a façade, and the craziest thing is that I can’t even react to those actions that were clearly mistakes or failed experiments. I just see it as normal, like it’s okay for that to happen, it’s fine, and it won’t hurt you that much. Like you know that feeling that you're supposed to freak out but you didn't. And some didn’t really hurt me as badly as I was expecting them to. It just felt okay, like no drama at all.

Maybe because it was just the idea of it being hard to let go of that had trapped me all along.

Those months were also a stage of loneliness and just wasting time and focusing on too much work—it was a stage of dying and not living at all; and where those reflections happen, realizations arise too. In the end, I awoke with a lot of truth being negotiable. Things that can be bent and easily tangled, and is regarded as merely ideas, thoughts, and decisions that cannot control us but may have an impact on the course of our lives if we do not act on our own.

I began to talk and just talk before realizing that what I was preaching was nonsense unless I could show them evidence. I've been realized that all along I failed to not recognize the power of working without noise, validation, and acknowledgement. On the shadow, it's just work and learning.

Friends have become busy during this time as well; priorities have shifted and schedules are no longer aligned.And, while things like this were painful, I learned that they are part of growing up and becoming an adult, and that there are still things to expect that may or may not happen to me depending on my choices.And I hope that I’ll always choose to do the right thing.

This sounds too short or something like a cliffhanger, but I’d just like to end here. I will post some contents later (maybe tomorrow) and hopefully in regular days. just doing a detox—a late one for 2022. Targeting this week as my first day of being toxin-free for the present year...