Dating in the Contemporary World

August 27, 2022

Hey, I’m back, after almost a month of being on hiatus.

A lot of things have happened to me lately. great things that have turned my world upside down and have forced me to make great decisions too.

Recently, a lot of schools have also opened for face-to-face classes. I’m afraid, but I feel pity for a lot of learners.

Students in high school who are unable to read properly; college students who struggle with grammar and comprehension.

While on hiatus, I was also exposed to life on social media besides blogging. It seems that those teenagers are much more lady-like than me. My eyes just continued to get wider as I watched how the numbers of their exes increased. I was with my best friend when I came across a certain someone, a 13 year-old teen with 3 exes already.

I don’t want to give an impression, but for old school and previous generations, these numbers really imply something. I could only imagine their brows twitching and their forehead lines becoming more pronounced as we discussed how the younger generation views love and dating.

My other friend has also enjoyed her time breaking and answering one of Twitter’s controversial questions. Such as things about dating and courtship up to the choice of who’s going to pay for meals in a restaurant on a date.

We came to the conclusion that, indeed, the Filipino system of labelling in relationships is far more different than the rest of the world.

For example, in other cultures, there’s dating before relationships and that dating is what allows one to properly decide whether they’ll call it official or not.

But in the Filipino teens of today... well, this is only based on what we observed, although there’s the idea of courtship, which these days is ceasing to exist. This kind of courtship is kind of disadvantageous to men and is kind of demmanding at some point.

Well, like men are expected to make the first move or to ask a girl out, and he’ll continue to do that till the time the girl has said yes to her, well that’s pretty traditional and lovely.

However, the disadvantage enters the frame when a girl isn’t clear about her feelings. Especially when we consider the length of courtship already, they'll be free to ask the boy to court them for any length of time: weeks, months, sometimes years; and then, after that, the assurance of the man's being able to be the girls’ boyfriend is still unclear.

Yes, courtship gives allowance for the getting to know each other part, but the right to ask the man to be loyal to you while you allow other men to also court you is not something I could swallow. And again, this is not applicable to all girls out there.

I mean, I get those who took it weeks before the girl actually said, "I’m sorry I can’t be with you."

But the years, well I’m sorry honey, that is way too long, and yes, a bad way to prolong agony. I don’t believe that the time it took to make it that long was all about deciding if you really wanted the guy. I mean, at the back of our minds, we always know what we want, or whether we want something to happen. It’s just that we’re confused most of the time. That’s why advice exists. Sometimes we’re afraid, but we always know whether we want something or not.

On the other hand, this lengthy course is also detrimental on the girls' part when we consider the "utang na loob" belief, which is the belief that when someone does you a favour, you are expected to give them something in return. When a girl doesn’t really want the guy but is tethered to the predicament that "Because he’s been courting me for so long, I should be with him". Yes, this is not applicable to all, but whether you agree with me or not, there are people who've been trapped in this kind of situation.

I’m also bothered by the no-label relationships that exist in today's generation. It seems to me that this is the contemporary type of dating. Everything else happens on phones and gadgets. And when we take it outside the influence of gadgets, everything else seems dull and non-existing.

Anyway, these are just common instances that take place in today’s time. But if you’re going to ask me what my view will be on this, well, in situations like this, I think what they’re missing is clarity.

They invest most of their treasures—time, money, and effort—in something that they’ve not been clear about the result. And yes, this sounds like gambling, but sometimes gambling too requires calculated risks.

Addiction is another part of the story.

So this is all for today I’ll update again tomorrow or the next day. As always, stay safe. You are loved.

Updates on my hiatus will follow soon.