Resolving marital conflicts: strategies and solutions

What is the best solution when a married couple faces marital problems and conflicts? Contrary to popular practice, divorce or threatening a spouse with divorce is not the right solution.

The best solution is patience, endurance and realizing that it is natural for differences to arise between married people. It is also necessary for each spouse to bear with his/ her partner and to overlook some of the words and acts that may be displeasing. After all, one does not always know where one’s best interest lies; you may like to do something that turns out to be bad for you. Besides, there are times when you do something that you do not like to do but it turns out to be good for you.

When the couple’s disagreement worsens, the ties between them start weakening. Then, the wife becomes disobedient, arrogant and negligent of her duties and her husband's rights. She may also deny her husband’s virtues. When dealing with the wife’s arrogance, first, the husband should advise her, admonish her, and remind of the husband’s rights over her. All this should be done tactfully and patiently, while adopting the approach of encouraging at times and dissuading at other times. Forsaking the wife in bed is a punishment for her arrogance and disobedience. This means that the husband should not let anyone notice that he is upset with his wife. The purpose of this punishment is to solve the problem and not to humiliate the woman or violate the privacy of their marriage relationship.  If the problem is not solved, stricter measures may be the answer. Some people are not affected by gentle advising and they grow more arrogant when they are treated kindly. When such people are treated strictly, they become calm and quiet.

Every sensible man realizes that if temporary sternness could bring back discipline, and prevent the family from breaking up, it would be better than divorce and separation. This is a positive form of discipline, yet it is not meant to be applied for the sake of revenge or humiliation. It is a means to put matters right and to reform the married couple’s situation.  

   Last resort for solving conflicts:  

When all the possible means of treatment prove ineffective and it becomes impossible to maintain marital ties as the aims and wisdom of marriage can’t longer be achieve then separation or divorce in a kind way should be the last option.