Milestones on the path of dutifulness to parents

There is no doubt that parents play an effective role in preventing their children from being undutiful. As it is known that prevention is better than cure, we advise noble parents who play the greatest role in this important process, to prepare youth and prevent them from being undutiful.

The family is the first incubator where the adolescent grows up and receives an upbringing. Hence, it has a far-reaching effect on the upbringing of children. It is sufficient to know that children act in a way that conforms to their environment. So, the environment forms the way in which the child learns his behavior. If adolescents grow up with a sense of righteousness and gratitude, undoubtedly, this would greatly affect them.

The following are some of the important means that parents should use while building the wall to prevent undutifulness:

1-       Extreme warning: An extreme warning lies in bringing up the children to be undutiful. Perhaps some people wonder about this warning. Yes, there are parents who plant the bomb which soon explodes. For example, some families express happiness when the child grows and is able to speak and move. Consequently, they tell him to beat or insult one of the parents.

2-       They mix jest with seriousness causing the disruption of the child’s moral standards. They are not aware that they are implanting in the innocent little child, at a very young age, disrespect to parents. This is the way it has always been, and always will be.

3-       Keenness on teaching the child the parents’ favors: It is a key step on the way of preventing undutifulness. It is to raise the children to be accustomed to respecting and realizing the status and favor of their parents.

4-       To be equally dutiful to you: Some parents are trapped in discrimination by favoring some of their children to others. This is plain injustice.

    Steps of treatment

After dealing with the gravity of undutifulness and suggesting some methods to prevent it, we should talk about the steps of treatment, which are:

1-   Virtues and punishments: This is one of the foremost steps which the person who seeks dutifulness should have in mind and realize. One could change from one state to another if he finds a strong motive. Undoubtedly, knowing and remembering the fruits of dutifulness will be one of the best incentives to practice it.

2-   Good friends: You should have good friends who correct your mistakes and inform you about the consequences of your actions.

    Understanding the stage of adolescents:

First, I would like to ask why adolescents clash with their parents. What are the reasons which drive him to argue after he was tractable during his childhood? Why does he tend to independence and individuality in taking decisions?
It seems that the answer is summarized in the fact that the adolescent is living through a new stage. The more parents are able to understand this, the more dutifulness they will get and vice versa. Missing understanding between parents and children is the gravest matter that culminates in undutifulness to parents.

 Children want to build their own life according to their style and that of their friends. On the other hand, parents look from their own point of view and through their own perspectives of their customs. Hence, each party is on a different wavelength. The deeper understanding of this stage the parents have, the more capable they will be of dealing according to methodology and awareness.

We previously clarified that the adolescent in this stage wants to fulfill some needs such as security, acceptance, feeling responsible, and so on. The more the parents are aware of these needs, the stronger and more successful the relation will be. Undoubtedly, such success is topped by dutifulness to parents. Hence, we need to read a lot on the needs of adolescents and how to deal with them.

-   Stop the conflict: it is important that parents understand that their children during this stage need to feel that their parents value them highly and know that they have moved from childhood to youth. In many cases, we find that the family’s stance towards the child, which may degrade or mock him, increases the child’s tendency to resort to his friends and compound their influence and effect on him.

-   Feeling rejected followed by loss: It is noteworthy that whenever the adolescent feels acceptance and esteem, he loves his parents more and more. Therefore, the more we accept the basic personal traits of our adolescents, the more they feel at ease with us and their desire to spend time at home increases. Undoubtedly, such a feeling of acceptance and esteem leads to a similar result with the children.