Controlling anger: an essential skill for educators

    Keep your energy for construction not destruction:

If a person does not control himself in critical situations and surrenders to the dictates of anger and strong agitation, he will find himself consuming an enormous quantity of his inner energy, which is supposed to be exploited in the process of construction, education, teaching, constructive dialogue, developing the skills of the children and enjoying a quiet everyday life.

    Come and take the following steps towards anger management:

- Always remind yourself that uncontrollable anger is one of the features of weakness in the upbringing process, whereas curbing and managing anger as well as acting fairly with the children while in this state. At the moment of anger when you feel that an ember is burning inside you, start counting from one to ten before uttering any word and ask yourself this question, "What should I say now to make my child benefit from this situation?"

- Review the situation that sparked your anger because of your child and rethink the motives behind such acts. For instance, your child spilled a cup of milk on his clothes during breakfast because he was trying to be independent and he did not intend to annoy you. Your agitation in this situation prevents him from trying to do this again successfully.

- Express what you feel to your child while you are angry and address him with strong words that take him to a higher level of behavior, which you were expecting of him. An angry father, for example, may say, "Son, I was angry about your misbehavior yesterday when you came home late. I was expecting you to be aware of the proper time when you should return home which I previously set for you."

- Use the method of neglect and temporary desertion. You might not talk with your child for long hours or answer his questions with lengthy speech. Show no concern for him till the blaze of anger dies down, taking into account the level of strictness in doing so. Surely, you will realize that this method is very fruitful in guiding the child compared to the other methods that you might resort to when you are angry.

- Remember that lowering your voice while talking to children helps you feel less angry and demonstrates your ability to control yourself and control them. If the child sees that you have lost control of your temper, this portrays you as a weak person, and he will imitate your weakness or take advantage of it.

- You can use written messages to express your refusal of some of your children’s requests or behavior. This is an efficient way that can be used with all people; like spouses, friends and children. That is because we think more wisely, analytically, and rationally when we write than when we improvise decisions, judgments and reprimands. Also, agitation cannot be conveyed through writing as clearly as through speaking. By doing so, you will certainly notice that the intensity of our anger and the anger of our children will decrease.