You don't have to yell

Dear friends, so sorry I have not been very active for two days now. I viewed most of your articles but I couldn't summon the strength to read or comment but i promise to do my best.

I don't know what is wrong with me but I am not just well. Since monday, I have been having an headache at the back of my head, I took a drug before going to bed on that day but I still couldn't find my strength the following day and my limbs felt heavier.

Yesterday night, I visited a patent store nearby and I Requested for some drugs which were given to me over the counter. I asked the attendant about the price and he muttered something I couldn't understand properly. I asked him what was it that he said and he screamed out the price to my face as if I were deaf.

Of course he didn't have to do that. I opened my purse and handed a five hundred naira bill to him.He was about to get my change when i smiled and told him to keep it. I told him goodbye and quickly begin to walk back to my house.

After taking about ten steps, I turned around and saw him standing by his store looking at me. I saw the look of regret and remorse on his face . He was still looking at me when I took a turn which lead to my house.

Obviously, he wanted to apologize about the way he treated me but he couldn't. I actually felt sorry for him and by the way,I knew he wasn't a bad person, he was probably upset before I came in

I have always subscribe to the saying " tend and care for others the way you would also want to be treated" . I don't just know if you would believe me or not but I don't know how to yell, squawk , nag or scream at another person.

Every time i am hurt by someone, i withdraw and go somewhere were I could be alone for sometimes and lick my wounds. Afterwards, i bounce back and continue the mingle with my fellow sapiens. Whenever I see other ladies both in movies and in real life yell at their partner, friend or stranger while they are upset or disappointed, I can't help but admire at this display of "toughness" and solidity.

I might seem talkative and loquacious online but honestly I am quite reticent and restrained in real life. The only time I seldom raise my voice at another is when I am having a banter with a sibling or a loved one. And while yelling at each other, we would also laugh when something funny is said by either of us. And of course, our love tends to grow a step further after such squable.

I think my bashfulness might be due to my family and domain. My dad was a soft-spoken and never a strict parent. Whenever i did wrong as a kid, he would make me stand in front of him instead of kneeling for more than an hour while he gives me the counselling of my life!

Standing alone, for that long is more than a enough punishment for me and I would curse myself for breaking a rule as i transfer my weight from one tired leg to another out of frustration and tiredness.

I have also discovered that most bullies are either from broken families or did not actually get to have enough love at home.

During my brief stint as a classroom teacher, I discovered the bullies of the school had parents who were also aggressive and hostile. This is because I knew some of their mothers who were troublesome neighbors that lived in the same street or the next.

Whenever there is a meeting involving parents and staff or when a childs parent is summoned, Some of them will not even allow you to talk as they are always yelling and would want to say everything at once all by themselves. No need to mention that such parents would constantly yell and spit venom at their kids at any slight mistake instead of using a more humane and motherly approach.

Consequently when the kid gets to school, he would also become hostile and antagonistic to his classmates and smaller students. There was this particular boy that slapped a girl in his class and called her some derogatory names .After he had been punished by a male staff, I was still very furious and I insisted his parents should be summoned by the school.

I was told that his parents had a divorce recently. I wasn't surprise to hear this, probably the boy had witnessed many times when his parents were always fighting in the evenings before they finally separated . No doubt,he must have unconsciously learned from his parents. Its a psychological thing you know. Happy homes will always produce happy kids.

I can't remember ever fighting someone in my entire life. No matter who you are, weather big or small; rich or poor; male or female, As soon as you start yelling at me, I simply carry my shoes and run before the devil comes to spread his blanket over the both of us and someone might get hurt.

"The psychological approach is always better than violence". Most people who have yelled at me without me fighting back do come back and apologize in private after they had regained their calm. You wouldn't blame them would you? Alot of folks out there are having it very rough in business, relationship, family or workplace and sometimes yelling at the next person might be another way to let off the pressure and steam that have been accumulating in their chests for a long time.

And you just have to forgive him/her afterwards if you can but I don't think things will ever be as cool as before between you both especially when you were embarrassed in public . The damage have already been done.

If the person is someone that is impervious, then you just have to avoid him or her as much as you can else another feud is likely to happen in nearest future. A philosopher whose name I can't remember said "you shouldnt try to fight a pig as the animal will drag you into the gutter amd beat you with experience"

Thank you

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