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You don't have to yell

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Avatar for Bilqees
Written by Β Β 146
4 months ago

Dear friends, so sorry I have not been very active for two days now. I viewed most of your articles but I couldn't summon the strength to read or comment but i promise to do my best.

I don't know what is wrong with me but I am not just well. Since monday, I have been having an headache at the back of my head, I took a drug before going to bed on that day but I still couldn't find my strength the following day and my limbs felt heavier.

Yesterday night, I visited a patent store nearby and I Requested for some drugs which were given to me over the counter. I asked the attendant about the price and he muttered something I couldn't understand properly. I asked him what was it that he said and he screamed out the price to my face as if I were deaf.

Of course he didn't have to do that. I opened my purse and handed a five hundred naira bill to him.He was about to get my change when i smiled and told him to keep it. I told him goodbye and quickly begin to walk back to my house.

After taking about ten steps, I turned around and saw him standing by his store looking at me. I saw the look of regret and remorse on his face . He was still looking at me when I took a turn which lead to my house.

Obviously, he wanted to apologize about the way he treated me but he couldn't. I actually felt sorry for him and by the way,I knew he wasn't a bad person, he was probably upset before I came in

I have always subscribe to the saying " tend and care for others the way you would also want to be treated" . I don't just know if you would believe me or not but I don't know how to yell, squawk , nag or scream at another person.

Every time i am hurt by someone, i withdraw and go somewhere were I could be alone for sometimes and lick my wounds. Afterwards, i bounce back and continue the mingle with my fellow sapiens. Whenever I see other ladies both in movies and in real life yell at their partner, friend or stranger while they are upset or disappointed, I can't help but admire at this display of "toughness" and solidity.

I might seem talkative and loquacious online but honestly I am quite reticent and restrained in real life. The only time I seldom raise my voice at another is when I am having a banter with a sibling or a loved one. And while yelling at each other, we would also laugh when something funny is said by either of us. And of course, our love tends to grow a step further after such squable.

I think my bashfulness might be due to my family and domain. My dad was a soft-spoken and never a strict parent. Whenever i did wrong as a kid, he would make me stand in front of him instead of kneeling for more than an hour while he gives me the counselling of my life!

Standing alone, for that long is more than a enough punishment for me and I would curse myself for breaking a rule as i transfer my weight from one tired leg to another out of frustration and tiredness.

I have also discovered that most bullies are either from broken families or did not actually get to have enough love at home.

During my brief stint as a classroom teacher, I discovered the bullies of the school had parents who were also aggressive and hostile. This is because I knew some of their mothers who were troublesome neighbors that lived in the same street or the next.

Whenever there is a meeting involving parents and staff or when a childs parent is summoned, Some of them will not even allow you to talk as they are always yelling and would want to say everything at once all by themselves. No need to mention that such parents would constantly yell and spit venom at their kids at any slight mistake instead of using a more humane and motherly approach.

Consequently when the kid gets to school, he would also become hostile and antagonistic to his classmates and smaller students. There was this particular boy that slapped a girl in his class and called her some derogatory names .After he had been punished by a male staff, I was still very furious and I insisted his parents should be summoned by the school.

I was told that his parents had a divorce recently. I wasn't surprise to hear this, probably the boy had witnessed many times when his parents were always fighting in the evenings before they finally separated . No doubt,he must have unconsciously learned from his parents. Its a psychological thing you know. Happy homes will always produce happy kids.

I can't remember ever fighting someone in my entire life. No matter who you are, weather big or small; rich or poor; male or female, As soon as you start yelling at me, I simply carry my shoes and run before the devil comes to spread his blanket over the both of us and someone might get hurt.

"The psychological approach is always better than violence". Most people who have yelled at me without me fighting back do come back and apologize in private after they had regained their calm. You wouldn't blame them would you? Alot of folks out there are having it very rough in business, relationship, family or workplace and sometimes yelling at the next person might be another way to let off the pressure and steam that have been accumulating in their chests for a long time.

And you just have to forgive him/her afterwards if you can but I don't think things will ever be as cool as before between you both especially when you were embarrassed in public . The damage have already been done.

If the person is someone that is impervious, then you just have to avoid him or her as much as you can else another feud is likely to happen in nearest future. A philosopher whose name I can't remember said "you shouldnt try to fight a pig as the animal will drag you into the gutter amd beat you with experience"

Thank you

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πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—

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Avatar for Bilqees
Written by Β Β 146
4 months ago
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Comments

seriously???? i don't really really get why people have to yell.

$ 0.02
4 months ago

Its mostly psychological I believe

$ 0.00
4 months ago

This is why I love to avoid things like this as my mind cannot carry it. Once I see someone ready to fight or argue with me, I will keep quiet because I am weak at fighting or having someone in mind. I donΒ΄t have such time. I simply ignore and move away.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

I really don’t get why people will behave this way but maybe something channeled that rage… it was worth to do that but I know if I where to be right there I will make the same decision too

$ 0.00
4 months ago

sure, most I guess so too. When you have more than a hundred reasons to be glad and happy, you wouldn't allow someone walk through your mind with their dirty feet..... I saw it! Thank you !

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Maybe he was having a bad day and you were right there to receive his bad mood hehe. Glad you just walked away. And I hope you are feeling better now.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Ofcourse sis, I thought as much... Yea, am doing quite well and thank you☺

$ 0.00
4 months ago

If na me, I will shout back at the attendant o πŸ˜‚ then after that we will both calm down and sought ourselves out. Even if he is upset about something, he doesn't have to channel it onto someone else

$ 0.01
4 months ago

Lol... A lot of people do this I don't know why. A man would have a bad day at work and come and pour frustration and insults on innocent women and kids at home everyday . And outside,they will think he is a gentle man fa

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Exactly, sometimes we will try to justify it by saying the person is probably passing through a lot, but we are all stressed from just been a Nigerian sef, so everybody just needs to be on their best behavior

$ 0.00
4 months ago

The people who are yelling should know that they are hurting someone. Actually I am the person that when I am hurt, I won't talk to the person whole day and still I will not tell what hurts me.

$ 0.02
4 months ago

I have a sister exactly like you. Even though she's hurt, you would hardly know and she heals her self on her own. You are really strong on the inside dear.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Pardon me , I couldn't read your post I'm very busy.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

I saw what happened, so sorry , I really am. Would definitely miss you 😒

$ 0.00
4 months ago

This is so wrong at so many level. Why yell, people?

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Really, it ain't just proper

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Awwwn, the scene that you left the man with your change felt emotional πŸ€—. Individuals are different, aside the common problems they're facing, there are people that are prone to yelling at fellow individuals. Just a little difficult thought in their mind and they are loosed already. Tow days ago, a fellow worker(female) was on call with her sugar daddy and they were having a little bant on trust issues, while she was on call, her charger was mistakingly removed by another person and see the way she shouted at this girl. I felt touched and checked my life if I can ever yell at someone like that no matter what. People don't consider how this thing affect others and they don't care

$ 0.01
4 months ago

And they say empty vessels makes the loudest noise too.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Exactly πŸ’―

$ 0.00
4 months ago

I understand those workers, sometimes they are just tired while sometimes they have problem at home that they bring it in their work, but what he did is a big NO NO. The good thing is you're a good person, and we know that he feel bad for it:)

$ 0.01
4 months ago

yea. Bit we shouldn't allow what we are passing through cause is to treat other people with disrespect because everyone have his/her problems too.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

My best wishes for your better health very soon. I think it's a good way to avoid fights that leave nothing good.

$ 0.01
4 months ago

Thanks ma'am. Am getting better gradually. Its Tue stress no doubt.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

I often wonder how easy for some people to actually yell. When I speak loudly, it drains me out, that's why I naturally talk slowly and with low tone. And I don't like when I am yelled at too. I hope you're feeling better? Please take care of yourself o

$ 0.02
4 months ago

Yea. Feeling better gradually. Thanks ☺

$ 0.00
4 months ago

That's great to hear. It's my pleasure

$ 0.00
4 months ago

There are different ways of correcting people, it's a bad idea to yell, apart from the psychological issues that come with it, it's not just normal to yell...

$ 0.01
4 months ago

of course, i believe its a sign of weakness and not of strength as the person might want to think

$ 0.00
4 months ago