Many a times we think that others don’t like me or people are judging your hairstyle or dress or whether you are gaining weight or losing it. Or maybe you are judging others on the same things, or maybe you hated someone because he or she likes something which you detest. These are all typical example of projection.
Projecting is when you believe something and you start seeing your beliefs in other people. You also start seeing your insecurities in people around you. It is as if you are wearing a tinted glass and therefore you see the world based on your views and opinions. Your glasses have been made throughout your life based on your experiences, pain and achievement. It is natural and you should not blame yourself for it. But when it starts affecting your life and relationship then it is time to get rid of some of them as it is not serving any useful purpose.
When you feel this realization that it is now time to change some of them then you can follow these steps:
Become aware
For changing your behaviour first you need to be aware of it because sometimes it is so ingrained in you that you fail to recognise it. If you are not sure what your insecurities look like or fail to see that you have a belief as to how others should act or not act, then how are you supposed to bring a change.
The best thing is to physically note it in a notebook or mobile because this realization may come suddenly and if you do not note it down then it is quite easy to forget it. Whenever you feel like you are getting judged or you are judging someone else, and then try to understand what exactly you do not like about it.
It can be like ‘I think people who go out every night are carefree’ or ‘I think others don’t like me because they think I am not interesting’. Then it will be easier for you to pin point the problem.
Why they exist
Why they exist is something you have to find out in yourself. It can be because your parents told you so, or it is coming out of your experience or from the experience of someone who is close to you. But in any case that is causing a negative effect. When you are able to pin point it to a specific event or people which is the cause of your belief then you can take steps to eradicate it.
When are you doing it?
Be conscious when these feeling are coming to you. If your thoughts are ruling you then it is quite easy to fall victim to it. When you are conscious of when you are doing it and take a note of it, then you will decipher the pattern. Then only you will be able to break the pattern. A lifelong habit will take time to break but once you are aware and determined then you take the first steps to overcome it.
Making a connection
Now that you are aware of your beliefs and the pattern of its appearance, so you can make the connections. Suppose in an office meeting you feel that your ideas were taken as dumb ideas, in fact you think that others actually think you are dumb. Now when you are aware that you have a perception that others take you as dumb and you feel that your participation in the meeting questioned your intelligence – now you will see the connection.
May be that you base your belief that you are dumb based on what others think about you, which may not be true. There can be other causes like they want to lay down you, so they make you feel dumb. Or maybe it is just heir jealousy.
So insecurities can be so deep rooted that you may need to take professional help also, don’t be shy of it. In some cases your assumption may be right also but there is always a way around. The mind is an incredibly powerful and unruly tool you have but thankfully we have some control over it.
Nice Article